The busyness of the mind and desires that seem to arise automatically are actually the result of high pressures one puts on oneself with expectations for our performance, for enjoyment and for relationships. We carry a conflict within of being harsh and judgmental of ourselves on one hand and constantly doubt any reassurances that we give to ourself. On the basis of our expectations we conclude that our life is good or bad or that we are successful or not. We are unable to bear the thought that we are not successful or good and begin to worry. We are influenced by advertisements and people around us. Some of these are ‘borrowed’ standards that almost stop us from knowing what we want and can be satisfied with. Many things can reduce the busyness of our minds – converting our large expectations into small steps and focusing on acting on these small steps, seeing life more holistically and as needing balance – the mixed nature of our goals – achievement and friends and fun, enjoying nature and natural beauty, focussing on what we could contribute to others maybe social service with our talents, and spending a few moments everyday with gratitude for all that we are blessed with – our talents, our comforts, the people in our lives who support us. Learning relaxation, breathing techniques, somatic experiencing techniques that are simple and setting intentions to calm one’s mind can be powerful methods. Cognitive therapy to balance your thinking is helpful. Apart from this, all mind therapies can help you too.

Consult HIV specialists and the NGOs and information centers dealing with this illness. However for any physiological problem you could along with the medications advised, and additionally use imagery and intention to direct your healing energies to the affected part of your body. To use imagery you need to enter your alpha state with relaxation and breathing methods, strengthen your intention to heal yourself and the intention to let the Universe’s healing energies assist you. Imagery of the healing process happening and of yourself looking happy and free of the problem strengthens the intention. Alternative healing therapies (reiki, pranic healing, acupressure) that work on the energy body, the chakras and meridians do offer possibilities to heal or assist in the healing along with the medications. In a simple way faith and positive thinking are always necessary for healing. Additionally all forms of body mind methods such as yoga, tai chi or qigong are wonderful in combining breath, movement and concentration and work on both body mind levels to heal.

Too much meditation is not always safe. Awakening powers that we may not be able to handle can be a problem. Our energy sources are the grounding ones of the earth and the ones of the Universe – the sky or higher self energies. Meditation can make us connect to higher spiritual energies without the grounding or can even connect us to interfering disturbing energies. Without being grounded we can feel spacey. Your sexual energies are related to your lower chakras and to earth energies and with too much meditation you could lose the earth connection. Also along with meditation it is important to heal our emotional conflicts, keep ourselves energized with proper breathing and exercises. If this is not done we may have blockages and increasing energy in ourselves through meditation without clearing blockages can create these strange feelings. It can actually be helpful to stop any more meditations for some time, restore ‘groundedness’ with focussing on and having your feet on the ground, experiencing and connecting to the nature around you, doing physical exercise and practical tasks. Then only will your spiritual development be holistic. Our challenge is to live on the earth plane with the challenges of our personality’s needs, wants and emotions and be able to handle these in a balanced way finding ways to honour our spiritual values in our day to day activities.

Removing jewellery is only necessary during the sessions. You can continue to wear rings and earrings. In a natural way they are cleansed and energized as we wash our hands and go into the sunlight etc. If your jewellery has crystals or gemstones washing in salt water or letting them be in sunlight can also cleanse them. Holding them in both your palms can energise them with your energies. EFT is definitely a great tool that has been discovered. It works beautifully as self healing tool. Recognizing that the disruption of the energy flow is the reason why we are not able to stop our reactions, we can use EFT and restore the energy flow. Either when something we want does not happen we feel we need to change our expectations and adjust them to reality. Often this is easier said than done. Or some event triggers us, we feel that we need to heal the memory or change the meaning we attach to the trigger. Inspite of knowing this we are often unable to adjust or act pro-actively to change our expectations or change the meaning we give to the event. EFT brings to our attention that this is due to the energy disruption in us. For most people this disruption happens only when something triggers us else we may fine. For those who have mental health issues of anxiety or depression, the person is affected by more triggers and for a longer time. So we zone into our issue to activate the disruption and then the tapping process can give our energy system a jolt and time to re-organize itself. This automatically makes us think more rationally and cope better with the situation. Most important of all EFT is easily doable by everyone, it is extremely brief, does not need analysis and over thinking, and is painless even when healing trauma memories and very effective. It can often be used with other tools by a therapist and that can improve its effectiveness even more.

You have not mentioned if you have a son or daughter. It seems your mother has the traditional narrow outlook of valuing a son more than a daughter. So she is naturally going to do more for a son or grandson than a daughter or grand-daughter. You have not mentioned if you live with her. If you do not live with her I am wondering what makes you obey her related to keeping your child with a care-taker. You seem to have difficulty to say ‘no’ to your mother. Either you are in a pleaser role with her still trying to get her approval instead of realizing that it is not worth getting it by ‘pleasing’. Further you may never get it as she has her own limitations of awareness and cultural conditioning. We often think we are wrong in some way so we are still trying to get the same attention the person is giving others. Actually it is more due to their prejudices and partialities that they have learnt in their growing up years and believe to be true. So one has to stop trying to change the other restore our self belief and detach from these negative behaviours. Detaching can come by realizing it’s her limitation not yours. You can detach from such irritating behaviours of your mother by moving away at such times and relate to her more positive and likeable behaviours. You may need to heal of the grief or loss you could experience at not having a more ‘fair’ love. Your stress to obey her can also come because you either feel guilty for some reason or you feel over-sympathetic to her due to any illness she is suffering or you fear her retaliation due to monetary dependencies you may have. You can feel guilty and obligated if you feel she has sacrificed a lot to bring you up. Free yourself from these guilts and obligations by knowing that you are supposed to do only what is possible for you and what is fair to yourself as well. Recognize her responsibilities for herself and the resources she does have for her stresses. If you find her negative you can do your duties for her though you can keep the interactions pleasant and brief. Then you can feel freer to say ‘no’ when needed and it will stop draining your energy in your interactions with her. And of course your ‘no’ can always be said tactfully and gently.