There is magical thinking that happens when a couple of things we think about actually happen. Then in a troublesome way we can start fearing our thoughts unnecessarily. Once we fear something we can only keep thinking that. Instead if you don’t attach so much to it and know co-incidences happen as often as manifesting our imagery we can now use imagery more consciously and again without desperation even when it is for things we want happening for us. Life could be surely letting you know to use your thinking towards your vision and not your fears. You could convert your fears to intentions like “I am crossing in a way that keeps me safe.” Similarly before we use imagery to attract even the positive we also need to intend with our energy and commitment to have that happen. After all only using imagery to be the best tennis player is not going to work. So it will also involve making a decision for the same and doing a few things in action. Even for the stuck in a lift example you just did that repeated thinking and never made the decision “I am intending to stay safe in lifts that I use and reach safely” Then your imaging and pondering would not take hold nor manifest even if you ended up pondering on it. We think a lot of negative things just like reflections on life and what different experiences could be. Do equal amount of reflection on positive things too – like what if I was living in a beautiful scenic place or what if there were beautiful flowers and butterflies around.

Hi yes you are right she needed to handle you with love and care. You have been through a difficult trauma both ways with the sexual abuse and the blame from your mother. Many of our families do not know how to handle this at all. They do not hold the abuser accountable and sympathize with the victim. We need to realize that a child is a child – will be easily lured with goodies or special attention or will be easily frightened into submission and secrecy and will have difficulty saying ‘no’. In fact a child can be bold tantrum or rebellious with their parent or care-giver which is a sign that they will not know to assert. They will know only to be aggressive where they can manage and where they cannot they can get passive. For a child it is most confusing when they are sexually abused as one way extra attention is given to them by an adult but the other way they are totally controlled by the abuser. Once you are in total control of any adult every time this adult is nice to you, you actually feel grateful to that adult! It is called the Stockholm syndrome. You can feel guilty, angry and sad. Separate all the feelings you feel and write them down. Don’t mix them up like if I am angry then I am guilty or if I am guilty then I am sad. Then take each feeling vent it by writing out on paper or with a safe body gesture like banging a pillow or crying it out. Then know it is not your fault – you are not guilty no matter what no matter whether you co-operated or whether you kept it a secret. It is usually like this for any abused child – they cannot make sense of it, so they don’t disclose it and the abuser often also puts the blame on them and tells them they will be scolded if they open their mouth. Forgive yourself and treat yourself as absolutely fine and clean person. Imaginally feel like you are giving back to the abuser all the negative or dirty feelings – know it does not belong to you and it belongs to the abuser only. Take therapy it will help. Use tapping methods, NLP and regression therapy to heal yourself. You will find you can recover very well and have a wonderful year ahead. Consider that as horrible as these experiences have been they have taught you humility and respect for all victims. You can feel empowered to dedicate some talent to the cause of victims or children and also to do things to build yourself – career, talents and other relationships. Handle low moments with a prepared plan of action. At low times nature, arts and supportive friends, outings, sports, or a walk can be very beneficial. Your power to have a great life is larger than an abuser’s power in your life.

You are going through a difficult time when a man wants to marry and want a woman to settle into his home with him but always give preference to his own family. It can feel like you have no priority and you can feel ‘used’ like you are wanted only for the tasks you do otherwise you are not as wanted. Women are taught to shift their loyalty to the man they marry but men are not taught this. In fact they are often taught by their family and friends opposite unfair things like “Don’t give her importance- she’ll sit on your head” “Don’t be henpecked.” etc. Some modern men have understood this and are very fair partners. It’s unfortunate that this is how our society influences men and women and their life gets unhappy. Your query does not say whether he is ever kind or loving. Do you have any feelings for him? Does he show any care for you? If you face such threats and beating and there is no caring and plus he wants your money property shares, you may need to re-think the relationship itself. You can know you are more powerful than him and could be on your own. Joint marital sessions can be useful

It is indeed a wonderful thing that you are a seeker – looking for deeper meaning and to contribute something more in life. Your interests tell what your purpose. When we feel intensely interested in something, enjoy it, it is an indication of what we are here to develop and then we can use it to contribute back to the world. Whatever hardship we have and when we handle it well, in fact we can become a coach to others in that area. This is a way we awaken to complete a karmic learning and go further to contribute. You can do a different sort of business that looks after your needs for spiritual matters and work. People are happy sometimes not just doing an ordinary food business but one that high lights food that is nourishing. Find combinations like this so you are not charging for commercial only but true value. When you believe in the value you give and efficiency with which you give it you can be able to charge for it. It is spiritual to have desires and to create abundance for oneself and others with our products. Experiment and then only will you know yourself and how to manage the business. For a spiritual person belief in the product being value adding to life is very important whereas for a business oriented person it can be just beating the competition to get the profit. There is nothing wrong with being happy with small achievements. It’s the desire to contribute on an ongoing basis and to larger groups that is missing. For this build more faith in your purpose (which is your talent and how it can be adapted to the world’s needs) and your talent in such a way that come failure or success, what you do is meaningful and very much important. Fix this in your mind. Our motivation wavers when we relate our purpose being there when we succeed and it not being there when we fail. This makes us fearful of not succeeding or of failing. This way of believing is the mistake. Believe in your purpose no matter what because that is a truth then you will sustain motivation, handle setbacks and have success. Know that putting in effort, working hard and taking risks is part of purpose – business or no business. When we are easily contented we are protecting ourselves from these fears. Sports people constantly lose and win and keep their faith in their game continuous through it all. They know their game is still meaningful. When they lose too they are happy they participated and know that people are happy to watch them take on a challenge. Therefore they sustain their efforts to keep building their talent with regular practice. Look after your doubts and fears with faith and convert it into an intention of working well “I am sustaining my work and motivation with full interest”, Find also creative ways to cope with setbacks by thinking “What’s possible here?” Be in the positive questioning mode too, as this will build motivation and drive.

Yes this is a tough situation when we have made up our mind and we face impossibility! In face of opposition it is better to review again carefully your decision and be systematic. So first steps first means you are focussed on completing your education because you are then better prepared for your life. Without this you are not prepared for married life and your future. So put aside worry of how you can convince parents and know you will deal with it after exams. This way you can get back focus. We need to separate all the areas of our life and deal with them one at a time and in a priority way so that you can have the ultimate success you want. Be single minded achieve that life goal and then move to the next and build on it. Additionally even if you somehow go against your parents you would need to be sure you are with a person who you can get along with. Of course for any decision to be made in a positive way we need to first stop panic and calm ourselves. Then only can you think clearly and problem solve in the situation you face to think of ideas and possibilities. You may think if this guy is balanced, safe in terms of his temperament, genuine and responsible. Is he financially stable? Have you also got habits and life skills and a qualification where you can be responsible for yourself even in a basic way? Will he live with his family and do you find them open to you? Otherwise it will be difficult. Does he recognize your parent’s opposition and he can accept this peacefully? What does he suggest? If he is stable he may ready to prove himself as suitable and convince your parents. You can see then that you really can make a life with a person not just from liking and loving but seeing the person as capable, calm, caring and responsible. The second part is only after you and this guy are convinced then you would be able to convince your parents. If not then there is no point proceeding. You also need to know your parents. Will they only be upset or will they be so angry that they can harm him or you? You can calm them by saying you are not doing anything without their permission but are trying to understand their opposition. Is it only the ‘relative’ angle which can be a medical issue when you want to plan a child later in life or are the families in some way divided or conflicted or having different standards of living? So talk to them calmly according to their needs and concerns. Show them you can be focussed and responsible and the idea you have to manage their concerns. Also no matter any situation at all you must decide to face the situation calmly. Consult a psychotherapist or counsellor to help you through this situation and how you can decide and negotiate better.