Maybe instead of battling with it we may need to accept and understand ourselves. Where have we learnt this? Which experiences made one absorb this negative thinking? We tend to generalize from a negative experience. Or we internalize others negative thinking and energies into ourselves. If we have a bad time two or three times we begin to think of ourselves as unlucky and incompetent or that people are mean and selfish. Instead of generalizing we need to recognize that that failure or incompetence belongs to that episode and not to everything. We can also get rid of energies that we have internalized through subconscious mind therapies.

Accepting that our negative thinking is there for a purpose and is not our enemy can reduce it. First we could identify the recurring negative thoughts. We may notice if anything triggers this or it is chronic. Sometimes others’ judgment triggers this or our fear of and risks of change can lead to these thoughts.

Negative thinking is sometimes not as negative s we consider it. It is an attempt by our inner mind to protect ourselves from the risks of failure. We expect the worst so that we will not be disappointed if what we want does not happen. Negative thinking makes us cautious to protect us from taking risks that the subconscious mind has stored as something to avoid. Part of ending negative thoughts is to be accepting of our failures and losses as part of life so we do not need to fear them. We can look at them as indicating new learning or new understanding of an ever changing reality. Failure is a way to update your map of what worked before and that now may not work because there is a change we have missed seeing. Shift your negative thinking from judging ‘yourself’ to identifying the ‘gaps in the methods’ used for your goals or your relationships. ”What I am, is not wrong.” Instead “What can I learn here that I am doing or not doing that may need to be different? What is possible to do next time?” Negative thinking may also indicate the need to clear our energies and heal past experiences through regression. After this re-programming the sub-conscious mind to positive thinking with sub conscious mind tools can help.

Depression is a mood disorder. Changes that are challenging and disrupt our efficiency contribute to create low feelings. There can be direct losses – of job, people in our life – relatives or staff, loss of something in the environment around us, loss of health or ability. These same losses can be experienced indirectly as they co-exist with a gain like a promotion or marriage or the birth of a child. Today’s materialistic and individualistic world creates high expectations from others and ourselves that are almost exaggerated. There is a feeling of loss when the expectation cannot be met like a holiday that should be possible for me to afford. The losses of not having what we expect to happen, happen disappoints and saddens a person making them feel like withdrawing or giving up.

When sadness and grief are temporary and follow a loss that a person experienced, that is normal. However when it affects people for months and years this can be called depression.

Difficult or abusive childhoods can predispose a person to depression. Similarly people who have been pampered do not develop the necessary stress tolerance abilities. Handling stress negatively then leads to the baggage of more pending work and more relationships that are not working and this piles up to make a person depressed. Being assertive, flexible and creative with challenges can help avert depression. Regular mental hygiene of clearing negative thinking and improving coping skills can prevent depression. Martin Seligman gave the insight of ‘learned helplessness’ he said “Depression could be caused by defeat, failure and loss and the consequent belief that any actions will be futile.” People who are depressed have beliefs that prevent them from feeling positive or taking positive action such as believing bad events are permanent and have a blaming attitude to themselves or others.

Depression can also be part of the effects of medical disorders such as diabetes, thyroid disorders, kidney and liver dysfunctions, some neurological conditions, cardiovascular diseases and deficiency of vitamins B6 and B12. Improper functioning of neurotransmitters such as serotonin and dopamine also contribute to depression.

Since I am not well versed with music therapy I would not be able to suggest this. Any soothing music is always good for soothing the nerves and each person may have their own preference of what feels healing or inspiring to them. Music with a lively beat and tempo is uplifting too.

Good problem solving skills between you and your children can enable you to handle the difference in thinking that exists around computer usage. Do not talk in terms of who is right or wrong, discuss in terms of what would be effective for their present day to day goals and their life goals. Be open to hearing what they feel would be appropriate computer time in a day. Do not think about it as keeping them away from the computer. Think about it with them as how could time be planned for the computer use and for other activities for that day or for few hours at a time. How could they fit in their goals for health and study requirements, what kind of success they want in their study and health and then encourage translating that into action ideas and then putting it into that day’s time plan and what computer time can then fit in. Do not use shouting and arguing or punishment methods. Work at keeping it a discussion where they can decide their own rules according to what they think is important in their life and how they can follow these. Talk about how they would handle the temptations of over using the computer and what can help them to keep the temptation in check. Taking training in positive parenting skills can help because they work very well.

You can e mail me for practitioners in Vashi. If your mother is interested in having therapy like emotional freedom technique or past life or hypnotherapy or even some talk therapy it will help her feel better. If she refuses therapeutic help then you may need to consider medications from a psychiatrist if her condition requires if she is withdrawing too much or getting too irritable. Look at answer to question one for some more tips.