Forgiveness helps us emerge whole from our wounded past, and return to the business of our lives with renewed energy, wisdom and peace. It is the bottleneck through which we must pass to reclaim our happiness and health.

Heal yourself

this exercise will help you nurture yourself, and heal your relationship with your parents

Have someone read this to you if you can, or put it in tape and listen to it.

Begin to visualise yourself as a child of five or six. Look deeply into this little child’s eyes. See the longing that is there and realise that there is only one thing this little child wants from you and that is love. So reach out your arms and embrace this child. Hold it with love and tenderness. Tell it how much you love it, how much you care. Admire everything about this child and say that it’s okay to make mistakes while learning. Promise that you will always be there, no matter what. Now let this little child get very small, until it is just the size to fit into your heart. Put it there so whenever you look down, you can see this little face looking up at you and you can give it lots of love.

Now visualise your mother as a little girl of four or five, frightened and looking for love and not knowing where to find it. Reach out your arms and hold this little girl and let her know how much you love her, how much you care. Let her know she can rely on you to always be there no matter what. When she quiets down and begins to feel safe, let her get very small, just the size to fit into your heart. Put her there with your own little child. Let them give each other lots of love.

Now imagine your father as a little boy of three or four – frightened, crying and looking for love. See the tears rolling down his little face when he doesn’t know where to turn. You have become good at comforting frightened little children, so reach out your arms and hold his trembling little body. Comfort him. Croon to him. Let him feel how much you love him. Let him feel that you will always be there for him.

When his tears are dry and you feel the love and peace in his little body, let him get very small – just the size to fit into your heart. Put him there so those three little children can give each other lots of love and you can love them all.

From You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L Hay