Laughing Buddha - WikiLeaking spiritual secrets

by Abhishek Thakore

What happens when letters sent to and by God are revealed by WikiLeaks?

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WikiLeaks is the website of our generation. By bringing out secrets (often very embarrassing) it has helped bring knowledge to the world at large.

However, due to restrictions from Higher Powers, some documents that WikiLeaks found were held back. The Laughing Buddha has used his highly developed intuitive powers to extract this classified information. Thus, we have pulled off a leak on the WikiLeaks site itself! The Laughing Buddha wasn’t caught as a whistle blower because his laughing distracted the investigators.

Here are the topmost hot and exclusive telegrams and cable messages sent to and from heaven.

1. Reverse evolution myth

FROM: Divine Creator

TO: Darwin

I know you are working on the theory of evolution. So let me cut to the chase and tell you this – the most evolved form of life is the bacteria and virus. As humans became more peaceful and instinctive, they moved to being animals. This present moment awareness kept increasing as they became reptiles and then plants and finally microbes. That’s why there are more microbes in the world than humans!

Of course, I am telling you all this because I want you to feed a totally inverted impression to humans and let them live in the illusion of their greatness. If you don’t, I will not help you evolve to being a bacteria yourself.

2. How did Microsoft become so rich and powerful?

FROM: Bill Gates

TO: Vishnu

Greetings to Your software Global Maya V 2436.0 is ready for release. Most bugs are fixed but some individuals might still be able to attain supreme consciousness and break away from the software. We have added newer wars, earthquakes, relationship issues and interpersonal conflicts to make the software more engaging for those humans on whose minds this programme will run.

At least now tell me if I am really making this software for you, or am I also running another version of Maya in my head?

3.Single divinity phenomenon

FROM: Unmanifested energy

TO: Saints and prophets of the world

You guys are basically here to distract humans from figuring out the most obvious fact – that all gods and divine beings are One.

To this effect you will receive a ‘How to be a Religious Leader in 17 Simple Steps’ manual that we have authored. You will be given a specific scenario – qualities, circumstances and your birth situation.

You are supposed to take your specific religion (specially created to engage humans) and propagate it (see step 13). Most of you are likely to die in weird and interesting ways but that is a part of the design – so that you become immortal.

As agreed by us, post your earthly visit, you will be given a choice to reunite with us or do another round.

The final secret will be revealed to humanity ‘in due course’ and all your attempts to tell the people the truth that all is one will, for the most part, fail.

4.Stop it!

FROM: Editor, Life Positive

TO: Laughing Buddha

Your attempts to share these leaks has been viewed as a violation of the ‘Go with the flow and let the universe unfold’ phenomenon. We have received wide-ranging complaints from New Age gurus, healers and channels. They are concerned that any further leaks would seriously affect their business.

This is totally uncalled for as it interferes with the divine plan. As a responsible magazine we cannot let you keep leaking these divine secrets. Please stop immediately and let the divine plan unfold as planned.

5.The final cable

FROM: Laughing Buddha

TO: Editor and readers

This is also a part of the divine plan!