Life - Confront the recurring problem
by Suma Varughese
when the same problem comes to you repeatedly, it is time to confront it
Sunday dinner was Italian. Minestrone
soup followed by pasta. Avijit was in
gastronomic heaven. Dad had invited
two of his ex-colleagues from the MNC
he had once worked with. Pradeep Sinha
and Zubin Contractor were nice young
men who had enormous respect for him.
Dad broke the silence by asking his
visitors, “So, how are things?
Zubin cleared his throat and said,
“Actually, sir, we both have some issues.”
Dad looked expectant. Zubin continued,
“Well, sir, Nitin Kapoor, my boss, is
insecure. He seems to see me as a threat.
He badmouths me to all my colleagues,
and nothing I do pleases him. We have
been having constant confrontations.
I seem to be fated to have bad bosses.
Even in my earlier jobs my bosses would
harass me. Should I just leave this
one too?”
Dad rubbed his chin with
his left hand thoughtfully and
answered, “Bad bosses seem to be a
pattern in your life,” he observed. “That
being so, you need to find a way to handle
this problem and not just run away
from it. When the universe gives us the
same problem again and again, it is proof
that we are meant to deal with it and
grow through it.”
Zubin looked intrigued. “I hadn’t
thought about it that way,” he said.
“But how can I handle another man’s
insecurity?”
Dad said, “From what I know of Nitin,
he is not such a bad guy. He just has a
people problem. In the first place, are you
doing anything to make him insecure?”
Zubin looked uncomfortable, “Now
that I think of it, there have been more
than a few occasions when he was very
upset because I resolved some issues
without bringing them to his notice.”
“There you are,” said Dad. “No wonder
he is insecure. You have to respect
his position and keep him in the loop.
Even if you have the solution to the
problem, you should take h i s
permission to implement
it. The hierarchy
needs to be respected.”
“ You are
right,” said
Zubin ,
looking
sober. “What should I do?”
“Is there anything you like about
Nitin?” asked Dad.
“The man is a creative genius. He is
a legend. There is so much to learn from
him!” exclaimed Zubin.
”Tell him that. Have a straight conversation.
Apologise for having over-ridden
his authority, tell him it will not happen
again, assure him of your intention to
make your equation with him work and
that should be that, I think.” Zubin nodded
gratefully.
Dad turned to Pradeep, “And you?”
he asked.
“Mine is a different issue,” Pradeep
said. “I do not have a problem with the
boss, but I am so tired of this city and of
having to commute two hours and staying
in a hole in the wall. I have a chance
to go to the Gulf. The money is very good
but the job is boring. I am in a quandary
as to what to do.”
Ajoba leaned forward and said, “You
seem to be running away from something
rather than going towards something.
That may not be wise. In my
experience, each time I have
taken an assignment in order
to escape my current situation,
it has been the wrong decision.”
“Ajoba is right,” said Dad. “It
might help to ask yourself what you
want, rather than what you don’t
want. Also, think long-term, not
short-term. Ask yourself what you
really want from life?”
Pradeep looked relieved. “Thanks
sir, I will think of it.”
Avijit chipped in, “Just choose the
place that has the prettier girls. You can’t
go wrong.”
Everyone laughed. “Good to know
you are clear about your priorities,” said
Dad sardonically, helping himself to some
more pasta.
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