Lets play a game. This game has two rounds.
Suppose all the people whom you know are being sold in an auction. They are being sold like commodities in a kirana store. You have as many 100 Rs notes as the number of people being sold in auction. Minimum cost of each person is 100 Rs. There are many more people also to participate in auction. They also know all those who are being sold. If you pay more than 100 Rs for a person you can not buy them all.
Now the auction starts. One by one each person is brought on the stage and all those who are participating in auction, bid for that person. Now think on following questions:-
1. How much are you ready to pay for each person?
2. Who are all those whom you want to buy on any cost?
3. Suppose you are not able to buy a person whom you wanted to buy badly then how do you feel?
4. When you see that some other person participating in the auction is ready to pay more than you for a person whom you want to buy then how do you feel?
5. What are the basis for you to pay more for a person than other?
Now reverse the situation.
All those who were participating in the auction are now being sold into it and all those who were being sold are now participating into it. It means, now those whom you were buying in the beginning, now they will be buying you.
Auction starts. You are brought on the stage. All those whom you know are in front of you to buy you. They start bidding on you. Now think on following questions:-
1. How do you feel when a person for whom you were ready to pay more doesn’t pay that much for you?
2. How do you feel when a person whom you wanted to buy at any cost is ready to pay more for some other person than you?
3. How do you feel when you come to know that a person with whom you expected to be paid high, did not pay that much for you?
4. What is your expectation from people who are participating in auction, when you are being sold?
What happens in Round1?:-
We see that we are paying different amounts to different people. For some we are ready to pay more on the cost of loosing some others even. For some we want to pay any cost.
When we are not able to buy a person whom we want to buy at any cost then we feel very unhappy.
When we see that some other person is ready to pay more for a person whom we want to buy badly then we start feeling a kind of opposition for that person. We want to pay more than that person for the person we want to buy. We want other person to get off from our way to buy the person in auction. We may even become ready to adopt violent methods to eliminate other person so that we can buy that person in auction. If somehow we are not able to buy the person whom we wanted to buy then we start feeling jealous from the person who bought that person. The intensity of jealousy will depend on how badly we wanted to buy that person.
Now the most important question, what is the basis for us to pay more for a person than other?
If we see this then we come to know that there are many things which come into picture while assigning price to a particular person. So what are those things? They are,
Color of skin, Gender, Shape of body, Height, Build, Dressing Style, Many other bodily aspects.
Caste, Creed, Country, Position of that person in society, How powerful that person is, How much that person earns, What contacts that person has, Many other social aspects.
What relation I share with that person, How much time I have spent with that person, How comfortable I feel with that person, How much that person understands me, How much that person trusts me, How much that person respects me, How much that person gives me importance, How much understanding that person is, Many other feeling related aspects.
What happens in Round2?:-
Now the role is reversed. We are being sold and all those for whom I have already assigned a price will be bidding on me.
When I come to know that a person for whom I was ready to pay high and that person doesn’t pay that much for me then my feeling for that person decreases. If that is the person to whom I am close and I have spent a long time with that person then this thing really hurts me.
When I see that a person whom I wanted to buy at any cost is ready to pay for some other person more than me then I start feeling jealous with the person who is being bought.
If people are ready to pay more for me then it boosts my level of confidence. If I find that I do not value much to people who are there to buy me, then it makes me unhappy. I want to be valued more. I feel inferior if people are not ready to pay good amount for me. It makes me feel superior when I see that there are people who are ready to pay more for me.
My expectation with people who are there to buy me is, I should be priced more by them.
In the first round we saw that we give different priorities to different people on the basis of several factors like color, caste, relation with them etc. Our feeling for them is dependent on all these factors. In the second round when we ourselves are being sold we want others to undermine all these factors and pay for us more and value us more!
In fact when we make selection of our relatives we consider all those factors but when they are making a selection and if they consider those factors then we find this bad.
We see that all this is happening but why is this happening?
A human being by birth has this expectation of Unconditional Acceptance from others but lacks the competence to give it to others. We accept others on the basis of several conditions but want to be Accepted, Unconditionally!
Unconditional Acceptance means Unconditional Trust and Unconditional Respect.
To gain this acceptance from others, our most of the works are happening. We want to be valuable to others around us. When we feel that we have value then we feel good and when we feel that we lack value then we feel bad. We decide our value on the basis of our association with things which are valuable to others. In fact we recognize our value on the basis of how others around us look at us.
When we expect Unconditional Acceptance from others around us and do not get it because other person also lacks the competence to give to us then it creates a deadlock kind of situation. It is something like two beggars are trying to snatch coins from each others bowls.
We see that problem is there, so what is the solution.
Solution is, Knowledge.
With Knowledge one begins to understand what the meaning of Unconditional Acceptance is, what Trust is, what Respect is and how can I achieve them. Due to lack of understanding of these, there are problems in Human Relationships and in Entire Nature.
Knowledge includes understanding related to:-