Personal Growth - Life is a process
by Suma Varughese
Failure is part of the process of success and life goes through many mutations before arriving at the desired outcome. So anchor yourself in faith
Suma Varughese is Editor-in-Chief of Life Positive.
Write to her at firstname.lastname@example.org
One of the key shifts that occur
when moving on to the path is
that one begins to have a more nuanced
approach to life. Earlier, I remember
I used to write off situations, people
and myself after one negative experience.
I remember struggling with my
identity at 16, and one of the key questions
I wanted answered was whether
I had courage or not. After a couple of
times of experiencing myself as timid
and afraid, I came to the sorry conclusion
that I was a coward. Everything
at that time appeared set in stone. An
illness meant one was sickly. Losing
temper on a couple of occasions meant
one was an angry person. One extended
that same rapid-fire judgement to
others as well, and therefore every one
including me was boxed in small airtight
compartments that left no room
for change, evolution and growth.
When I awakened to the spiritual
path, one of the major discoveries
was that even though I was over 30, I
discovered within me a great capacity
for growth. I found that my personality
was not a fixed phenomenon and
therefore no one else’s was either. I
also found that although I had changed
hugely, people around me were either
unwilling or unable to change their
view of me. It suited them to see me as
the old reactive, timid and shy person
I had been.
I smarted under the injustice of
it all and determined that I at least
would no longer box people into fixed
positions but would always leave open
the possibility of change and growth.
People were who they were only
provisionally. And if we could see
them as capable of change there was
every possibility of kindling that same
realisation in them. The human psyche
is extremely delicate and vulnerable
and we have no idea how powerfully
we can impact others simply by seeing
them as the whole and perfect beings
they are in actuality.
One also begins to recognise the
flowing and fluid nature of life.
Everything shifts and changes so why
operate from fixed positions?
Another related understanding is
that life is a process. Things, including
us, take time to form and often go
through several mutations before
yielding the desired results. Parents
need to keep this in mind when
relating to their children especially
during the turbulent teens. These
children are forming and struggling to
discover themselves and establish an
independent identity. Their reactivity
and aggression is a passing phase, not
writ in stone. Keeping this in mind will
enable them to extend the space needed
for the children to work out their stuff
and return to stasis.
We as seekers have deep need of this
knowledge as we go about the difficult
task of self-transformation. We will
stumble and fall ten thousand times as
we struggle to become who we wish to.
It is only the dauntless determination
to rise on each of these occasions and
keep going that will bring us the success
we strive for.
See more articles on Personal Growth at: http://www.lifepositive.com/articles/PersonalGrowth