Personal Growth - Walk like a goddess
by Shivi Verma
Ma Durga, the epitome of femininity
inspires love and respect, not
lust and vengeance in men You don't have to stop being a victim. All you have to do is allow yourself to be the goddess you are - Gesu Aftab.
Rapes are nothing new. But today India is waking up to the plight of women like never before. Call it the call of changing times, but women and the ills of the patriarchal mindset have acquired centre stage both in the morning newspaper and in the mindspace of citizens.
According to the latest statistics there is one rape committed every 22 minutes in India. Is there anything women can do to change this sorry state of affairs? The solution we are looking for is not reactive or vindictive, but spiritual. Ultimately, we are looking for transformation in society. We are looking for a society where both men and women can co-exist harmoniously and with good will. A society where both genders are free of the unfortunate effects of patriarchy, with its proclivity to control, dominate and exploit. For this to happen, women must resist the temptation to react to the current climate of sexual abuse, and operate from their highest selves.
What is a woman?
It is most important for women to realise their value and place in this world. This means going beyond the roles they play as mother, sister, wife or daughter, and plumb the essence of their being.
Says Gesu Aftab, energy healer and transformation agent, “We are not equal to men. We are two worlds totally unique and parallel to each other. When we women try to imitate, or be equal to them, or try and retaliate against the abuse dealt to us, we deny ourselves the possibility of creating the world of our own potential. As a woman your priority is not to be safe in a violent world, but to be the co-creator of a peaceful, creative and relaxed world. Every woman knows that it will not only bring peace for men, but will create an unparalleled space for humanity. Every woman is at the epicentre of a family. Families create societies. Societies create races, religions, classes and countries. Countries create the world. So who is at the centre of this world? What if you allowed your power to be seen unabashedly? And that has nothing to do with body, dressing and sexuality. There is no fight with men. When Ma Durga walks on the road, how many can think of rape, let alone dare to rape?” So women are basically the power which is at the epicentre of the universe. Knowing this, can they reclaim their divinity to create a new world?
Dadashreeji, spiritual master and founder, MaitriBodh Parivaar, says, “Woman is the shakti of the house, society, community and country at large. Her liberation and guidance would help society to find its lost and disconnected path.” He adds, “Woman needs to know and practice two things. She must acknowledge her valued existence and follow the theory of right association. When a woman recognises her value, she gets naturally drawn to people who vibrate on a higher frequency. This cleanses her aura and immunises her from untoward incidents.”
How to realise it?
Annu Matthai, Christian Science healer, says that the whole problem has arisen because we have forgotten that we are made in the image and likeness of God.
“Each one of us has a God-given, God-designated place and purpose. We are all in God’s plan for the universe. When we see ourselves as that, we can validate our existence. We have to realise that we are all one, and that in God’s world, everything is positive. Treat men as people who need the same things as we do – such as respect and love. Your world will shift and change. Align your mind with the divine mind which is good, strong and powerful. This belief is so powerful that it has actually changed the circumstances of women by 360 degrees.”
Bonnie Mitchinson was a sophomore student taking a stroll near her college campus with a friend. As she came to sit near a lake, a man from nowhere jumped on her and pressed her down.
Bonnie panicked but despite the struggle, she knew she would be safe and unharmed. “I’d learned about the nature of God from studying the Bible and attending a Christian Science Sunday School, and I knew there was something more I could do than just physically push the assailant away. So at that very moment of crisis, I also started protesting this assault by acknowledging the power, presence, and goodness of God. … I continued to silently pray that everyone in God’s creation is loving, harmless, and pure. I was then able to turn my head and tell my friend to run back to the tennis courts, get our guy friend, and alert the police. When the man heard this, he got up and ran away. My friend and I quickly gathered up our books, and started to walk back toward the campus. As we passed the football field, we saw the same man. This time, he did not run away. Instead, he walked up to me and apologised. He said, ‘I’m really sorry; I never meant to hurt you.’ I told him I knew he really didn’t want to hurt me, because he was God’s child. (Published in Christian Science Sentinel - July 7, 2010).
Says Sadguru Jaggi Vasudeva, “The real answer lies in individual transformation.
Humanity needs to make an urgent investment in the direction of inclusion. This means that you are not limited to the boundary of your physicality. If this fundamental shift happens, the very way you walk, breathe and exist on this planet will be different – and this is the only long-term solution there can be to the question of human violence.” He adds, “The experience one attracts is determined by the evolution of one’s consciousness. Our life is largely determined by a maze of unconscious choices which is traditionally referred to as karma. What one gets into is not always the outcome of one’s choices, but how one comes out of whatever one may get into, can be exercised as a conscious choice. It is important for every human being, a woman or otherwise, to create inner situations through which we will draw the best of life towards ourselves.” Here below are some of the tools women can draw upon to strengthen themselves and to heal.
The Law of Attraction
The Law of Attraction is at your disposal every time. According to this law, energy flows where attention goes. Therefore, if women believe that no matter what, they are powerful and protected, their circumstances will begin to reflect the same pattern.
Even though it is not easy, it can be accomplished. And a little quiet time will aid it. Says Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, “One has to remember that life is much more than events. Deep inside, there is an aspect in us that remains untouched by them. Putting your attention to that space within the Self, strengthens our inner being. Sitting quietly for a few minutes everyday, attending to this aspect greatly diminishes the negative effect of events that have happened in the past or that might happen in the future. Meditation also finetunes your awareness and intuition that can be helpful in preventing such incidents in one's life.”
Loiuse L Hay, famous healer and author of You Can Heal Your Life was raped by a neighbour at the age of five. Fear, guilt, and feelings of unworthiness got entrenched in her psyche and attracted more abuse. It was not until Louise entered spirituality and became established in the realisation that she was not simply a female body, but an expression of the Divine, that she stopped attracting abusive men.
Get the guilt out
According to Sukhvinder Sircar, healer and a divine feminine workshop facilitator, guilt is a device that has been used by patriarchy to keep women enslaved. “Why should women carry any guilt around something unwanted happening to them? This sense of shame induces fear and diffidence and chains them to the enslaving patriarchal mindset. They begin to feel that the assault was their fault.”
She adds, “Change your inner patriarchal voice that keeps stopping you from expressing yourself. This voice makes women vibrate at the lowest level of fear. If a woman feels the fierceness of the Kali power inside of her, then her whole being radiates with that inner confidence and it will not attract predator energy.”
Love your body
Guilt has also been indelibly woven around possessing a female body. Right from birth, to growing up, attaining puberty and getting old and dying, women are made to feel inferior, unwanted, a liability and a burden. Says Louise, “Women have traditionally thought of themselves as second class citizens who did not have the right to take up space and sometimes not even the right to live. Today all that is changing. It is heartening to see women participating in active sports.” Loving your body also means eating nourishing food, and not feeling compelled to abide by society’s standards of what the body should be. It is important to be recognised for the person you are and not just for your body.
Stand up for yourself
This also establishes the right of women to say no, and stand up for themselves when feeling oppressed. “When a woman is indoctrinated that she is the cohesive force that keeps the family and subsequently the world together, she feels compelled to perform this duty at the cost of her health, happiness and dignity. She must realise that being the keeper of the family is a strength. It is not a weakness to be manipulated by men to keep her confined and stifled,” says Meta healer Anu Mehta. “Life will reflect the pattern you create. If you silently suffer sexual abuse by close male relatives, thinking that your outcry and protest will destroy homes and relationships, one day it may come back to you as being badly raped by gangs of men. Protect your boundaries the first time your instincts tell you that you are being violated. Teach young children to say no if anybody touches them badly. Do not fear that protesting will cost you your honour, image and sustenance. The universe takes care of those who stand up for themselves,” she adds.
She gives the example of Sarita Jaiswal, who was unable to conceive for a long time. She would keep contracting urinary tract infections frequently and had cysts and fibroids on her uterus. When she came for healing to Anu, she discovered that when Sarita was young, her maid was raped by a manservant on the same bed she used to sleep in. Although nobody told her anything about it directly, she could sense that somebody was badly violated in her house. Sleeping on the same bed everyday, made her feel frightened and dirty. During therapy it was revealed that she was unable to accept her femininity, and therefore developed diseases in her body. When she cleansed herself of the guilt, she healed and conceived naturally.
Despite knowing all the facts about their power, significance and presence, women cannot evade responsibility. The knowledge of their divinity does not rule out their own role in taking care of themselves. They are gifted with a sixth sense. They should use it to stay out of trouble. Dress responsibly. It is impractical to fix the whole responsibility of being respectful on the opposite sex. Women naturally feel uncomfortable if somebody eyes them up and down and their first instinct is to cover up. They should allow this instinct to work in their favour. They should put safety first before their sense of entitlement to public places, and avoid deserted spots. Couples often seek abandoned areas for privacy. Such jaunts can prove dangerous because criminals often roam such places. Learning to be sensitive to the energies of people is also a helpful tool.
Last but not the least, it is sensible to realise that nothing happens to a person for his/her downfall. Every outward incident is meant to take us higher and deeper within ourselves. All of us are a reflection of each other. Men too are people. They are not predators. They too are on a journey, and it is not easy for them to readjust to the changed dynamics of male-female relationships. So before women ask to hang them...they must forgive them. Let us clear up our inner space of all the hatred, bitterness and anger that we are carrying against each other. Let’s face it. No amount of hanging or persecution can create the change we want to see in the world. No slogan-raising or finger-pointing can make men respect women. Women must start this journey by respecting themselves. Walking and conducting themselves with the knowledge of their divinity will do the job.
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