Trust is the glue that binds relationships and the grease that keeps the wheels of society moving. Without it, all human interaction would fall apart. A glimpse of the various avenues of trust

When not to trust

Cultivating a trusting disposition does not mean trusting blindly. It does mean a willingness to believe that a person is innocent until proven guilty. It also implies that you evaluate the person, especially someone new to you, until you can be confident of trusting them.

Dr Bhatt cautions us to tread carefully and remember that trust does come with a degree of responsibility. “Just as we choose to love, we choose to trust. Always remember trust is a verb, not a noun and requires your action and involvement. Do not trust blindly, but with your eyes open,” he states. Ameeta Shah explains, “You may trust someone for their medical advice or to be there to emotionally support you, or in the quality of work they will deliver. You may not trust the same person with money or vice versa. It is important for us in our relationships to discern what we can trust someone for and what we cannot, and then we may choose to keep a relationship for the trusted parts and by being aware of areas of mistrust, keep ourselves safe by limiting interactions in those areas. We may even open up to the others about areas we trust them and areas we do not, and that therefore we will check in on those areas.

We may have good systems in place that make people behave in trustworthy ways. For example in some offices you may have the system of switching off the cellphone at work hours so you have trust that no one is chatting instead of working. Ultimately, real trust needs rapport building abilities. For this, we need to build our own competence in understanding and evaluating others, without arrogance, or the buttress of ego, but in an impartial way. When the effort is required from your side, it pays to go the extra mile, instead of giving up, or becoming bitter and cynical. When all fails, we have to understand, accept, and move on. This requires absolute honesty with one’s own self, as well.
-Dinaz Dastur