Insights into Intimacy
The most fundamental aspect of a spiritual partnership is creating spaces in togetherness. Relationships breathe, grow and derive sustenance from these spaces. Following are a few insights for creating these spaces:
The Feasting and Fasting PrincipalEverything in the world loses its charge, if left too long, too close to anything of the opposite charge, and couples are no exception to this rule. Says Osho: "When you
love a person you want to come close to him, you want a deep intimate relationship. But after a deep experience of intimacy it is necessary to separate too and go far away. After you have feasted, you need to fast, otherwise there will be nausea."
Your Partner is not an Extension of Yourself The purpose of spiritual growth is to drop our limiting ego-identity, not to enhance it to include your partner. Each person is a distinctly unique individual in his own right, irrespective of the amount of intimacy you share. Recognize this deeply.
Feelings are not SynchronizedThere is no such thing as synchronized feelings, like synchronized swimming. True intimacy does not lie in feeling similarly about similar things at similar times, together. It is about giving your partner the space to feel whatever he or she feels, without trying to impose or curb your own feelings. You are responsible only for your feelings.
Emotional IndependencePartners are not dumping grounds for unwanted
emotions that we are unable to handle ourselves. Recognize your issues and create your own ways to manage them, before you share them with your partner, so that the
sharing is free of reactiveness. There is a vital difference between dumping and sharing.
Find your own TruthAfter all is said and done, the pursuit of truth is ultimately a solitary journey. The journey happens within you. While we may use spiritual partnerships in our journey of self-discovery, we all have to find our own independent answers. There is no such thing as partners-in-truth.
Insights into Intimacy
The most fundamental aspect of a spiritual partnership is creating spaces in togetherness. Relationships breathe, grow and derive sustenance from these spaces. Following are a few insights for creating these spaces:The Feasting and Fasting Principal
Everything in the world loses its charge, if left too long, too close to anything of the opposite charge, and couples are no exception to this rule. Says Osho: "When you love a person you want to come close to him, you want a deep intimate relationship. But after a deep experience of intimacy it is necessary to separate too and go far away. After you have feasted, you need to fast, otherwise there will be nausea."
Your Partner is not an Extension of Yourself
The purpose of spiritual growth is to drop our limiting ego-identity, not to enhance it to include your partner. Each person is a distinctly unique individual in his own right, irrespective of the amount of intimacy you share. Recognize this deeply.
Feelings are not Synchronized
There is no such thing as synchronized feelings, like synchronized swimming. True intimacy does not lie in feeling similarly about similar things at similar times, together. It is about giving your partner the space to feel whatever he or she feels, without trying to impose or curb your own feelings. You are responsible only for your feelings.
Emotional Independence
Partners are not dumping grounds for unwanted emotions that we are unable to handle ourselves. Recognize your issues and create your own ways to manage them, before you share them with your partner, so that the sharing is free of reactiveness. There is a vital difference between dumping and sharing.
Find your own Truth
After all is said and done, the pursuit of truth is ultimately a solitary journey. The journey happens within you. While we may use spiritual partnerships in our journey of self-discovery, we all have to find our own independent answers. There is no such thing as partners-in-truth.