Be Your Own Sadguru

Did you know you have a map inside you? Everything you needed, all the wisdom, all the love, you will find inside. When you need guidance from yourself, step back and see the larger picture for an objective solution. For this you need to afford yourself 'inner leisure', says Uday Acharya. Spending time with yourself, contemplating or meditating are some ways. Connect with your true self by sitting in the lap of nature. Walking, gazing at the sea, watching trees are ways of tuning into the harmonious energies of the universe.

When you get in touch with your higher self, you see more objectively and do not see yourself as a victim. You become what Stephen Covey calls, pro-active, not reactive. Pro-activity is synonymous with self-awareness, free will, creativity and inner conscience. When you allow yourself time and introspection, you can get in touch with these aspects of yourself. In turn they will help you see your goals and the way to reach them.

Self-reliance is a natural offshoot of self-esteem. We can only bank on ourselves if we have earned our own trust and belief. How do we develop these? "Self-esteem is the disposition of experiencing oneself as competent in coping with the basic challenges of life and as being worthy of happiness," says Nathaniel Branden in The Six Pillars of Self-esteem. Self-acceptance, self-love, a positive self-image, the freedom to be ourselves; all these are crucial aspects of self-esteem. He recommends living consciously, accepting yourself, self-responsibility, assertiveness, living with a sense of purpose and practising personal integrity as the six ways of bolstering one's self-esteem.

Loneliness is a judgment upon ourselves. It's the feeling of being unloved learnt in childhood. To break out of it, contemplate on your humanness. Say to yourself: "It is okay to have limits".

In lonely hours, don't discount your ability to amuse yourself. Develop your skills and get in touch with your tremendous abilities. Forgive yourself and don't be overly critical. Develop good communication skills, be assertive, learn to say no. Don't feel guilty about not catering to others' requests all the time out of a sense of obligation. Lastly, don't try to play God. Be yourself, it's a wonderful thing.