HOW TO HUG
Hugging may sound like the simplest thing on earth, but it will help to keep a few things in mind. Non-hugs are no good. In his
book Caring, Feeling, Touching, Dr Sidney Simon describes five non-hugs:
I. The A-frame hug, in which nothing but the huggers' heads touch.
2. The half-hug, where the huggers' upper bodies touch—while the other half twists away.
3. The chest-to-chest burp, in which the huggers pat each other on the back, defusing the physical contact by treating each other like infants being burped.
4. The wallet-rub, in which two people stand side-by-side and touch hips.
5. The jock-twirl, in which the hugger, who is stronger or bigger, lifts the other person off the ground and twirls him.
The real thing, the full body hug, touches all the bases. Dr Simon describes it like this: "The two people coming together take time to really look at each other. There is no evasion or ignoring that they are about to hug... You try as hard as you can to personalize and customize each hug you give... With a full body hug there is a sense of complete giving and fearless. Communication, one uncomplicated by words.
"It is the attitude that is important," says Vikas Malkani. "It need not be a full, frontal hug. It could be sideways. Generally, hug only friends and people you know."
"Many people do not like their personal space to be invaded. Still others may feel too vulnerable at times to like to be touched," warns Dr Bhagat.
The stereotype of men being less demonstrative than women in their
love and affection is by and large true. "But men are more open to hugging after a few drinks at parties," says Pommi Malhotra. From her experience she says that even the tough ones respond to hugging.
Many people feel embarrassed or uncomfortable when hugged, but Malkani's advice is to still go at it because they are bound to feel good afterwards and may even feel grateful to you. When you feel the need to be hugged, ask for one. Any place is good enough for hugging: home, office, school, church, a party, a conference. You may, however, feel uncomfortable hugging, for example, at work. In that case, prefer a more intimate environment, such as at home with friends or at a party.
HOW TO HUG
Hugging may sound like the simplest thing on earth, but it will help to keep a few things in mind. Non-hugs are no good. In his book Caring, Feeling, Touching, Dr Sidney Simon describes five non-hugs:
I. The A-frame hug, in which nothing but the huggers' heads touch.
2. The half-hug, where the huggers' upper bodies touch—while the other half twists away.
3. The chest-to-chest burp, in which the huggers pat each other on the back, defusing the physical contact by treating each other like infants being burped.
4. The wallet-rub, in which two people stand side-by-side and touch hips.
5. The jock-twirl, in which the hugger, who is stronger or bigger, lifts the other person off the ground and twirls him.
The real thing, the full body hug, touches all the bases. Dr Simon describes it like this: "The two people coming together take time to really look at each other. There is no evasion or ignoring that they are about to hug... You try as hard as you can to personalize and customize each hug you give... With a full body hug there is a sense of complete giving and fearless. Communication, one uncomplicated by words.
"It is the attitude that is important," says Vikas Malkani. "It need not be a full, frontal hug. It could be sideways. Generally, hug only friends and people you know."
"Many people do not like their personal space to be invaded. Still others may feel too vulnerable at times to like to be touched," warns Dr Bhagat.
The stereotype of men being less demonstrative than women in their love and affection is by and large true. "But men are more open to hugging after a few drinks at parties," says Pommi Malhotra. From her experience she says that even the tough ones respond to hugging.
Many people feel embarrassed or uncomfortable when hugged, but Malkani's advice is to still go at it because they are bound to feel good afterwards and may even feel grateful to you. When you feel the need to be hugged, ask for one. Any place is good enough for hugging: home, office, school, church, a party, a conference. You may, however, feel uncomfortable hugging, for example, at work. In that case, prefer a more intimate environment, such as at home with friends or at a party.