RELATIONSHIPS- SOUR MARRIED LIFE

Other than relations, what could be a better medium to understand ourselves? Relationships can be felt physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually. Relationships are the single most profound knowledge or lessons other than the physical issues or life issues. There is a big confusion regarding relationships. We often feel that relationships are kind of a support or help to us. We feel that many and deep relationships are meant for security. We often criticize of the relations, behavior or treatment others have done to us. Generally relationships are based on some presumptions. Either we want the other person to act according to our thought, wishes, convenience or ask them to accept us as we are. We feel relationships are a kind of filler in life. The other will fill us or we will feel complete after particular relationship. We try to search security in relationships. But during my PLR sessions the revelations are quite opposite.

I found that relationships are the medium to explore our own self. It is not meant to see, feel, understand, and make use of other. It is meant to see, feel, understand, realize, and make optimum use of your self. It is simply meant to understand which part of you are experiencing with a shadow called relationships. Relationship does not means what others are giving to us or what can we have from others. Relationships are a medium to understand our self and see what all we can perform to make us complete. It is not a relationship which is meant for others, it is a relation with own our own learning, own physicality, own karma, our own lessons, our own remembrance.

God created the universe to feel its grandeur. Its creation that is our soul also needs creation to feel great as god. To feel, remember this creativeness, greatness, we have made relations. A relation always communicates through emotions, feelings and thought. Emotions are nothing but energy in motion. There are two types of emotions. Fear based emotions and love based emotions. In the karmic chain we have no escape from thought, word, and deed as they are based on one emotion or other. We have nothing else from which to choose but have free choice about which of these to select. So the importance of relationship is not in determining who we are, but in creating what we want to be.

The next important thing which I have discovered in relationship issues is people lack to trust and love them. They don’t accept themselves deeply and completely. They can find complaint, dissatisfaction, guilt, fear, complexes, and wrong belief system within themselves at any point. They are not ready to trust the process of life. They cannot march with the events as they unfold. They want certainty in uncertainty. Try to find out assurance in the ever changing expression of life. 

Whenever I came across any relationship issue, firstly I always try to find out the core belief system of the patient along with his/her opinion towards self. The likes, dislikes, attitude towards life, reasons of failure, ambitions and expectations towards relationship comes after. Vision towards opposite sex, own physicality, childhood patterns, fear, phobias and other details are also given prime importance.

Relationship issues are the most complex issues to deal with. As they need complete transformation and self responsibility on part of the patient. One must be made courageous enough before entering into past lives so that he can accept himself for a change. If the patient is not ready for a change, for understanding his weakness, understanding the opportunities hidden in the relationships, all the revelations and revaluations will prove to be a waste of time. Many a times after understanding in details, I have seen the patients refuting the revelations.

These are the session of a lady, in her thirties who came to me through a close friend. She was married for last five years, with a three year old son and highly paid software engineer. She was living in a metropolitan city with a nice home with all the amenities. In her interview session when I asked her to narrate her problem in one line, she become nervous and only after several minutes she could say “I want to live with my husband”.

I have a habit of asking the problem in one line, before asking the complete details. Often the one liner is a major clue and some times the goal of therapy. In this case it was the reason to go for regression therapy.

Then she starts narrating her problems. Briefly, she was having a handsome, responsible, intelligent caring husband. But her husband was mammas baby. He was mad after his younger brother and mother. His father died in some unfortunate, mysterious circumstances and he feels unnecessarily dutiful, responsible and extra caring towards his mother and two younger brothers. Here some how I got an idea of group Karma. Somehow after her marriage, her mother in law and brother in law start intriguing against her and start molesting her in front of her husband and other relatives. They kept her alone, isolated, disconnects her every possible connection from the outer world. They left no stone unturned to humiliate her, keep on harassing her on every occasion and start building gap between the couple. She even tried to suicide twice during this problem. She was quite upset, feeling all alone, helpless and even her marriage was on the verge of separation. She had got divorce threats many a time from his husband and anticipating it any time. She spent these five years in all the possible, visible, unbearable harms and now wanted to get rid of them at any cost.

In the interview session she gave many clues to have feelings of dejavu. Her childhood pattern shows various destructive patterns, fears, phobias, suppressed emotions, complex belief system, and unfulfilled dreams. Also, she was not very comfortable regarding her physicality. She demonstrated anger, guilt, frustration, impatience and ego at many occasion during the pre-session talks. Here I was very much clear that I have to work on her behavior patterns before touching the main cord. So, I decided to work on emotions.

I told her the truth and take her consent for some sessions on behavior pattern instead of taking her to the root cause of her present day marital problem. I choose three groups of emotions to explore.

In the first session of age regression, which was done through progressive body relaxation, she was able to reach up to the womb state. She recalled many incidences in which she felt she is inferior because of being a girl. This particular complex of being a girl fascinated her towards boys’ hair style, clothes, linguistic tone and bodily moments. Here it is pertinent to note that in the interview session also, she mentioned many times that women are inferior to men.  At every incidence of childhood memory recall, I asked her to cover the hurt or confused child with a white light cover and give him a corner in her heart. In the womb stage remarkable information surfaced, which itself had a very deep impact on her life. When she was in womb, she was not oblivion of the time to come out. Suddenly she felt as if somebody is awakening her, calling her to come out. Then she wake up and came to the world. This was the voice of her mother, who called her to this world. The first attraction or interaction to this world is very important. Its impact is carried through out the life, if not released. This gives an important clue about her deep attachment with her mother. Later in the transpersonal area, she met her mother as a guide. In my opinion we should always try progressive age regression as the first session. Often present day symptoms prove to be vital clue for PLR.

The first session gave the path to the second session. I decided to work on the complex and cause of her belief that women are inferior to men. For this I tried Morris Nether ton technique and asked her to repeat these words again and again. This technique work and she was connected to three lives, one by one, unfolding major concerns regarding her behavior, physicality and belief systems. In one life she was a lady astronaut, who died in space shuttle after a mishap. In this life she was filled with success and achievements. The tone in which she narrated the experience was blended with her ego, knowledge and pride. In one more life she was an unmarried wealthy lady who runs a corporate house in U.K. She was leading a successful but lonely life. She feels great to be a lady governing so many men. She always uses to give high posts to men and she keeps check on them. Here we come across some of the belief systems of her life. Then I asked her to go back to the times where she got such beliefs. She was connected to one of her life where she was a queen, who after the death of her king could not take revenge with the enemy king because she was a woman. She died with a belief that women are weak and need to have support of men.  Women cannot do anything all alone. There she decided to either a man or man like dominance and power. To release these accepted wisdom, I connect her to light and Masters. Here she met her present day mother as her guide and in the higher perspective she realized that men and women both are the same soul. Soul incarnates in different forms to learn different aspects of life, lessons, soul purpose. It is solely the karma which is in operation. Physicality is not above karma or soul. I also persuade her to realize this knowledge with different angles. The session ended with great insight and knowledge. Post hypnotic suggestions were made.

In the third session, this lady was much impatient to understand her main issue of life that is sour marital relationship. Since was responding well with other induction techniques, Instead of wasting time, I decided to take her to the past lives by rapid induction. She at once slipped into deep trance and was connected to a life in she was a girl friend of her present day husband. They were having a very good time together. One day in a dance party, when he was supposed to propose her, an old friend of this lady, along with her another friend shot her beloved. In anger, grief, she also killed herself with the same gun, in the same party, cursing that killer friend. In reviewing death scene, she told that the killer friend also loved her and wanted her, but she was not aware of his feelings. The other girl was also in love with her fiancé and they were having some secret relationships with each other. Here she was confused and was amazed of these revelations. She herself was suspicious regarding her fiancé feelings and relationships. The remarkable point in this revelation was that she recognized the killer as her present day brother in law and her friend as her mother in law. She got an idea that she was not trusting her fiancé, but wanted to know why her fiancé was killed and she was deprived of his love in that life. What she did to this killer friend? What was her fault? Sometimes if the further explorations are needed, we just don’t understand the insights or vice a versa.

This answer came just after the question, when she was guided to connect to a life from where this chain started. I wanted to reach to the core life now, as we come across the present pattern of this life once more in the past life. Secondly the soul group seems to be incarnating time and again. She at once got connected to an old tribal life, where her present day brother in law was her husband. She doesn’t allow her to touch her as she says she was very hard and dirty. She got hurt with his touch. This was a signal to relive, open the trauma. When she was asked to repeat these words again and again, she said she will beat him with a stick. Here I gave a scale in her hand and ask her to show me how will she beat her. She holds the scale like a lathi and start beating, abusing, jumping on the regression chair. She relives that event beautifully with all the emotions. In the meanwhile abusing him, she said that she set fire in the hut. Her husband was inside with some other women whom she again recognized as her present day mother in law. She could not tolerate their relationship and she put both of them to fire and death. After reliving these moments, she was completely exhausted and then she told that that she suicide by falling in the river, where she was eaten by a crocodile. Reliving this moment, her pain in the leg again started and she start weeping again with pain. I allow her to release the pain and heal it using visualization techniques. In the same story there was another man who was having sympathy with this lady. But she never pays attention to his feelings. Even when she was drowning, he extends his hand of help which she refuses. But here she promised to meet him in next life. This man also promised to take care of her. This man was his present day husband.

By this time many realizations were clear, her strain relationships with in laws, anger, pain in legs, arrogance, man are superior to women, why this happens to me only etc. But the story of the promise to meet and disharmony with husband was pending.

I again asked her to connect to the next life when they met after this life. She was connected to a life where initially after rejecting him and lots of persuasions from his side, she married him. But in this life again she was in same arrogance, angry, not so open, mistrusting, disrespecting his love. But somehow her husband was compromising to her every wish and trying to live with her. Even in an accident her feet were amputated and then also he took utmost care of her and loves her. But she behaves very rudely to him, to the point insults him in presence of other persons. He got very hurt at various occasions. In the old age when their children grew up and left her isolated, then only she understands and recognize the love of her husband. She died in pain and took promise from him to meet again.

This was a very emotional, full of various events and lessons session. I thought it would be useless to probe further. As there is no limit to explore, I decided the next step transformation and re scripting. I asked her to call the light, Master and her higher self to understand the lesson meant for her. To cut short in the transpersonal area she got insights, lessons to be learnt regarding her anger, arrogance and most importantly trust. She was then asked to forgive and ask forgiveness from her husband and in laws. Through visualization the chakra cord attached between them were healed in light. Post hypnotic suggestions were induced.

To summaries, I would say that we must understand our relationships deeply and completely as they are very important in understanding ourselves. Leave all expectations aside and start watching yourself. When it is your life, it is you who is responsible for every event of your life. You choose your life to be like this only.

Past life regression therapy is a holistic therapy which teaches us about the great divine plan of existence. There is no sex, caste, religion, nationality, permanent relationship in the universe. There is no free will only free choice which is operational.

Ten days after this session, her husband called her and promised to live separate from the family with her and child. She also embrace the opportunity calling her and as far as I know they are living now separate from the family, happily. Once she called me and told that she has started learning the lessons of life, trusting her husband and watching herself.