Nisargadatta Maharaj - Who am I?

by Life Positive

MEDITATION

Q: All teachers advise to meditate. What is the purpose of meditation?

Maharaj: We know the outer world of sensations and actions, but of our inner world of thoughts and feelings we know very little. The primary purpose of meditation is to become conscious of, and familiar with, our inner life. The ultimate purpose is to reach the source of life and consciousness. Incidentally, practice of meditation affects deeply our character. We are slaves to what we do not know; of what we know we are masters. Whatever vice or weakness in ourselves we discover and understand its causes and its workings, we overcome it by the very knowing; the unconscious dissolves when brought into the conscious. The dissolution of the unconscious releases energy; the mind feels adequate and becomes quiet.

Q:What is the use of a quiet mind?

M:When the mind is quiet, we come to know ourselves as the pure witness. We withdraw from the experience and its experiencer stand apart in pure awareness, which is between and beyond the two. The personality, based on self-identification, on imagining oneself to be something: 'I am this', continues, but only as a part of the objective world. Its identification with the witness snaps.

Q:As I can make out, I live on many levels and life on each level requires energy. The self by its very nature delights in everything and its energies flow outwards. Is not the purpose of meditation to dam up the energies on the higher levels, or to push them back and up, so as to enable the higher levels to prosper also?

M:It is not so much the matter of levels as of gunas (qualities). Meditation is a sattvic activity and aims at complete elimination of tamas (inertia) and rajas (motivity). Pure sattva (harmony) is perfect freedom from sloth and restlessness.

Q:How to strengthen and purify the sattva?

M:The sattva is pure and strong always. It is like the sun. It may seem obscured by clouds and dust, but only from the point of view of the perceiver. Deal with the causes of obscuration, not with the sun.

Q:What is the use of sattva?

M:What is the use of truth, goodness, harmony, beauty? They are their own goal. They manifest spontaneously and effortlessly, when things are left to themselves, are not interfered with, not shunned, or wanted, or conceptualized, but just experienced in full awareness. Such awareness itself is sattva. It does not make use of things and people—it fulfills them.

Q:Since I cannot improve sattva, am I to deal with tamas and rajas only? How do I deal with them?

M:By watching their influence in you and on you. Be aware of them in operation, watch their expressions in your thoughts, words and deeds, and gradually their grip on you will lessen and the clear light of sattva will emerge. It is neither a difficult, nor a protracted process; earnestness is the only condition of success.

WITNESSING

Q:I am full of desires and want them fulfilled. How am I to get what I want?

M:Do you deserve what you desire? In some way or other you have to work for the fulfillment of your desires. Put in energy and wait for the results.

Q:Where am I to get the energy?

M:The desire itself is energy.

Q:Then why does not every desire get fulfilled?

M:Maybe it was not strong enough and lasting.

Q:Yes, that is my problem. I want things, but I am lazy when it comes to action.

M:When your desire is neither clear nor strong, it cannot take shape. Besides, if your desires are personal, for your own enjoyment, the energy you give them is necessarily limited; it cannot be more than what you have.


Q:Yet, often ordinary persons attain what they desire.

M:After desiring it very much and for a long time. Even then, their achievements are limited.

Q:And what about unselfish desires?

M:When you desire the common good, the whole world desires with you. Make humanity's desire your own and work for it. There you cannot fail.

Q:Humanity is God's work, not mine. I am concerned with myself. Have I not the right to see my legitimate desires fulfilled? They will hurt no one. My desires are legitimate. They are right desires, why don't they come true?

M:Desires are right or wrong according to circumstances; it depends on how you look at them. It is only for the individual that a distinction between right and wrong is valid.

Q:What are the guidelines for such distinction? How am I to know which of my desires are right and which are wrong?

M:In your case desires that lead to sorrow are wrong and those which lead to happiness are right. But you must not forget others. Their sorrow and happiness also count.

Q:Results are in the future. How can I know what they will be?

M:Use your mind. Remember. Observe. You are not different from others. Most of their experiences are valid for you too. Think clearly and deeply, go into the entire structure of your desires and their ramifications. They are a most important part of your mental and emotional make-up and powerfully affect your actions. Remember, you cannot abandon what you do not know. To go beyond yourself, you must know yourself.

Q:What does it mean to know myself? By knowing myself what exactly do I come to know?

M:All that you are not.

Q:And not what I am?

M:What you are, you already are. By knowing what you are not, you are free of it and remain in your own natural state. It all happens quite spontaneously and effortlessly.

Q:And what do I discover?

M:You discover that there is nothing to discover. You are what you are and that is all.

Q:But ultimately what am I?

M:The ultimate denial of all you are not.

Q:I do not understand!

M:It is your fixed idea that you must be something or other that blinds you.

Q:How can I get rid of this idea?

M:If you trust me, believe when I tell you that you are the pure awareness that illumines consciousness and its infinite content. Realize this and live accordingly. If you do not believe me, then go within, inquiring 'What am I?' or, focus your mind on 'I am', which is pure and simple being.

Q:On what my faith in you depends?

M:On your insight into other people's hearts. If you cannot look into my heart, look into your own.

Q: I can do neither.

M: Purify yourself by a well-ordered and useful life. Watch over your thoughts, feelings, words and actions. This will clear your vision.

Q:Must I not renounce everything first, and live a homeless life?

M:You cannot renounce. You may leave your home and give trouble to your family, but attachments are in the mind and will not leave you until you know your mind in and out. First thing first—know yourself, all else will come with it.

Q:But you already told me that I am the Supreme Reality. Is it not self-knowledge?

M:Of course you are the Supreme Reality! But what of it? Every grain of sand is God; to know it is important, but that is only the beginning.

Q:Well, you told me that I am the Supreme Reality. I believe you. What next is there for me to do?

M:I told you already. Discover all you are not. Body, feelings, thoughts, ideas, time, space, being and not being, this or that—nothing concrete or abstract you can point out is you. A mere verbal statement will not do—you may repeat a formula endlessly without any result whatsoever. You must watch yourself continuously—particularly your mind—moment by moment, missing nothing. This witnessing is essential for the separation of the self from the not-self.

Q:The witnessing—is it not my real nature?

M:For witnessing, there must be something else to witness. We are still in duality!

Q:What about witnessing the witness? Awareness of awareness?
M:Putting words together will not take you far. Go within and discover what you are not. Nothing else matters.

REAL MIND IS BEYOND THE MIND

Q:On several occasions the question was raised as to whether the universe is subject to the law of causation, or does it exist and function outside the law. You seem to hold the view that it is uncaused, that everything, however small, is uncaused, arising and disappearing for no known reason whatsoever.

M:Causation means succession in time of events in space, the space being physical or mental. Time, space, causation are mental categories, arising and subsiding with the mind.

Q:As long as the mind operates, causation is a valid law.

M:Like everything mental, the so-called law of causation contradicts itself. No thing in existence has a particular cause; the entire universe contributes to the existence of even the smallest thing; nothing could be as it is without the universe being what it is. When the source and ground of everything is the only cause of everything, to speak of causality as a universal law is wrong. The universe is not bound by its content, because its potentialities are infinite; besides it is a manifestation, or expression of a principle fundamentally and totally free.

Q:Yes, one can see that ultimately to speak of one thing being the only cause of another thing is altogether wrong. Yet, in actual life we invariably initiate action with a view to a result.

M:Yes, there is a lot of such activity going on, because of ignorance. Would people know that nothing can happen unless the entire universe makes it happen, they would achieve much more with less expenditure of energy.

Q:If everything is an expression of the totality of causes, how can we talk of a purposeful action towards an achievement?

M:The very urge to achieve is also an expression of the total universe. It merely shows that the energy potential has risen at a particular point. It is the illusion of time that makes you talk of causality. When the past and the future are seen in the timeless now, as parts of a common pattern, the idea of cause-effect loses its validity and creative freedom takes its place.

Q:Yet, how can anything come to be without a cause?

M:When I say a thing is without a cause, I mean it can be without a particular cause. Your own mother was not needed to give you birth; you could have been born from some other woman. But you could not have been born without the sun and the earth. Even these could not have caused your birth without the most important factor: your own desire to be born. It is desire that gives birth, that gives name and form. The desirable is imagined and wanted and manifests itself as something tangible or conceivable. Thus is created the world in which we live, our personal world. The real world is beyond the mind's ken; we see it through the net of our desires, divided into pleasure and pain, right and wrong, inner and outer. To see the universe as it is, you must step beyond the net. It is not hard to do so, for the net is full of holes.

Q:What do you mean by holes? And how to find them?

M:Look at the net and its many contradictions. You do and undo at every step. You want peace, love, happiness and work hard to create pain, hatred and war. You want longevity and overeat, you want friendship and exploit. See your net as made of such contradictions and remove them—your very seeing them will make them go.

Q:Since my seeing the contradiction makes it go, is there no causal link between my seeing and its going?

M:The concept of causality does not apply to chaos.

Q:To what extent is desire a causal factor?

M:One of the many. For everything there are innumerable causal factors. But the source of all that is, is the infinite Possibility, the Supreme Reality, which is in you and which throws its power and light and love on every experience. But, this source is not a cause and no cause is a source. Because of that, I say everything is uncaused. You may try to trace how a thing happens, but you cannot find out why a thing is as it is. A thing is as it is, because the universe is as it is.

Excerpted with permission from I am That: Talks with Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj, translated by Maurice Frydman.