From fear to love

April 2013

By Chitra Jha

Spiritual teachers tell us that there are only two primary emotions, fear and love, and everything else is only a reflection of them. So how do we transmute fear to love, asks Chitra Jha 

The other day as I read the news about a massive increase in the number of applications for licenses of guns by women, a chill ran through my spine. What was happening to my country? Haven’t we learnt enough lessons from overseas, where in recent times young adults have gone about killing innocent schoolchildren, just because they had the use of licensed guns? It is not as if the gun culture is new to India; my own home state (Punjab) is infamous for unlicensed guns. Killing for various reasons, especially for honor, is no novelty either. This news item made me remember my family’s long car drives from one city to another, on transfer, when my husband would carry his licensed pistol with him, just in case it was needed on the highways. “One never knows,” he would say, and I would get so fearful that I wouldn’t even want to touch it or look at it. I never ever told the children that we possessed a pistol, let alone were carrying it with us!

Suddenly it occurred to me that I was afraid of guns. I wondered of what else I was afraid. As I sat down and listed my fears, it made a tidy list! While I had overcome the biggies such as the fear of death, and had never feared ghosts, darkness, cockroaches, spiders, or snakes, I was still fearful of unpleasantness, anger, violence, drunkenness, being robbed, lewd behavior, loudness in any form, loss of face, not being able to walk my talk, and putting on weight.

None of us is completely free of fears. There is an entire spectrum of emotions and feelings, which look like our usual reactions and responses, but when we dig deep into them we find one or the other fear lurking underneath. All our negative thoughts and feelings are nothing more than different shades of fear, which create anxiety, worry, tension, stress, and panic attacks.

I can’t list all the fears, nor am I aware of all the fears that assail people, but I know for sure that we all live in a fear-based society. Every sphere of our life right from birth to death is steeped in fear. As children, we fear our parents, as our parents fear for our health, our well-being, our future, and us. During school years, we fear our teachers, as they fear not finishing the syllabus on time, or not achieving the required results. During working years, we fear our superiors
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Comments [ 2 ]

santosh jha

Hi Sir,
I am in love but u know no body even God is not with us ...... so I thought to make some think special my friend was coming to my home......
That day I got a chat that my love,s mother has found a boy accoding to hi m is great....... no body cares about our love we use to cry but no body hears....
What should I do....


Santosh, love is God and God is love...even if you do not marry the one you love; you can still love her. Marriage is not the only destination for love. In fact, there are many instances where marriage destroys love....Have faith in almighty and His ways. Whatever happens happens for our best; even though it may not seem so, in the short term! Let go and Let God!

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Anuradha Iyer

Very nice article Chitra! Thank you for the simple suggestions to overcome our fears.They are very useful for everyone! Lots of love.


Love you, Anuradha..:)

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