Trupti Jayin talks about SPA exercise & how to do it
A wise man was traveling in the business class of an international flight. He was reading a book, which seemed like a spiritual ग्रंथ (literary composition) for the man seated next to him.
He asked the wise man," You must be free from all anger by now" The wise man turned to him and smiled," I am richer than you think. I have held on to all my emotions." The man was surprised at the reply and curiously asked," Then you do have anger!" The wise man said," Yes, I am talented as I can act angry."
An enlightened man is not governed by anger, disappointment or sadness but can act angry, sad or mad when he wishes to, in order to make a difference in someone else's life. No emotion is redundant. It's how you use it in the appropriate situation that makes it useful.
This sensible use of emotions comes with awareness. When we become an observer of our life events, we can respond with the right ingredient, which can make the situation turn on its heels.
I have met monks who express their emotions freely, not to hurt but to guide or teach lessons to their disciples. Is there such a monk in your home, who insults and derides you?
Recognize the monks among you
When we are born in a family every other member challenges us with questions or statements that may anger us. If the words are spoken with a deriding tone, criticizing overture or insulting expression, the reaction is the same or we turn mute simmering inside like boiling lava.
This reaction, if recognized by the person, much heartburn can be avoided. If you have noticed, anger erupts the most when the person who you love speaks uncouthly. It’s as if an arrow has been pierced in one's heart.
How we relate without hurting ourself and others is the true challenge in one's life. It’s also the most important aspect of this eternal journey of life, which if we learn, will reach us to the desired destination - peace.
I call it the SPA exercise.
The SPA exercise
- Stroke the person in a positive manner when he is angry. This means, break the energy exchange even before it starts. Say, “ You seem to be showing anger/ irritation/ distrust/ at me, would you want to continue with it?” You are stepping away from the energy bubble, which is being created. You can add, “ I don’t think you are that angry/irritated/upset to warrant such a behavior “ You have now put a subliminal suggestion to the person that he can review himself. Such stroking behavior can help nullify the energy exchange.
- Permission - Unless you give permission to the person to get angry at you, no one can make you angry. Step away if it’s escalating, Move to a safer place as you don’t have a charioteer like Krishna and express that you have not given the permission to the other person to hurt. Break the transaction so that it becomes crossed.
- Autonomy - Always function in an autonomous manner. Don’t cow down or allow anyone to grapple over you. Stay in complete control of when and how to show your emotions. As Swamiji said, “ Keep the reins in your hands.”
Give yourself SPA every day when you face an angry or upset person who is waiting to bathe you in his energy field.