By Shivi Verma
Spirituality helped Shivi Verma realise that she was all that she was seeking outside
The greatest advantage of spirituality is that it unites you with truth, and separates you from illusion, just like the proverbial swan separates milk from water. This is remarkable because in this world what is good and true is so badly mixed with the false and untrue, that mental discrimination alone cannot ground you in truth. Since childhood, I was on the lookout for role models who were the epitome of courage, truth, love, honesty and purity. But whenever I looked for these things in people around me, I was always disappointed. Because they spoke one thing, and did another.
For most, success was the only parameter of righteousness, and the more successful you were, the more right you were. And since success was always eluding me, it was easy for anybody to strike down the values I held dearly by saying that if they had any substance I would have been successful.
And when I scanned the faces and personalities of famous successful personalities in my time, I was all the more confounded. They could easily be found lying, and misleading and then defending their acts so cleverly that you would actually begin to doubt yourself.
Confused beyond measure I turned my attention to intellectuals, thinkers, and philosophers. They at least seemed to think from a larger perspective, thought of the deprived sections, challenged the high and mighty, and fought for truth. But soon disillusionment started. Most of them were locked in an ego battle with their opponents, were too self-righteous, and unwilling to consider the gaps in their theories. And though good at criticising, they did not have solutions, and were mostly cynical. They were not above biases and other human frailties for which they attacked others. With no role model to look up to, I was paralysed with indecision when I entered the professional world. Everywhere compromise seemed the buzzword for going up in life. And since I couldn’t do it, I was cut out to be a loser.
Jesus Christ said that only those who choose to stand last in the line will reach the Kingdom of Heaven
With nobody to give me the magic formula of how to succeed with your values intact, I finally decided to do what came naturally to me, even if I didn’t achieve anything worthwhile in life. To listen to my conscience and do what is honest, selfless, and good. And if that left me at the bottom of the ladder, I was okay with it. The only words which resonated in my mind were that of Jesus Christ who said that only those who choose to stand last in the line will reach the Kingdom of Heaven. Gradually, the material world ceased to be my playground. The spiritual world was the only place where I felt I could successfully last. And finally I reached a space where I ceased being impressed and awestruck by achievers of material success. I realised that success usually took place under the spotlight of Maya. And within Maya it was very easy to get carried away or start believing in your own myth. Only the true seeker and the self-realised needed to be taken seriously because they walked their talk. Because their idealism was not a cloak for hidden motives of fame or power. Because they introspected when an accusation was made to find if it was indeed true. Because their only motivation in life was to do what was right, speak what was true, and do so without being arrogant and self-righteous. They did not pursue success as much as truth, and if success happened as a byproduct, they accepted it humbly. And though it is true that the spiritual world too is full of imposters, I realised that as long as I was living by the values I cherish and uphold, there is no need to look for role models outside. Because I am all that which I was seeking.
|Deputy Editor with Life Positive, Shivi Verma is a devotee who found all her answers in loving God passionately|
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