A scientists search for meaning

A scientists search for meaning

Dr Spomenka Mujovich battled extreme hardships to become a medical doctor, but  My search for the meaning of  found solace and answers only after entering the path of spirituality  angel?).

“How can I help myself?” was my question; to  life started very early in a  rather strange way. I was 10  when my family moved from a big city, Sarajevo, to  the small Bosnian town of Bijeljina. I was  very small and found myself schooling in a  new class where I was the youngest, the  smallest, and one of the poorest students. My  new classmates were mischievous and  mistreated me. Everything around me looked  very ugly; I was desperate for help. My father  was in the military and rarely at home. My  mother, too occupied with domestic chores  concerning my father and us four children,  had little time to spare. So, my parents  weren’t of much help. If I were to look at the  teachers for support, the children, on getting  to know this, would treat me far worse. I  used to cry a lot over this when suddenly one  day, a voice seemed to tell me: “You are all  alone between the earth and the sky. Only  you can help yourself.” It was like a soft  whisper from a loving friend (guardian  

which came the prompt reply: “Become the best pupil  in your class and later, at the college level.” After that, everything fell into place. I asked the  professor-in-charge to let me occupy the first bench,  just next to the teacher's desk, so that no one could  disturb me during the lectures. I made use of two  libraries (military and municipal) to broaden my  knowledge beyond the curriculum. Within three  months, I became the best pupil in my class; and by the  next year, I got the highest grades. I started helping my  classmates wholeheartedly with their math, grammar,  physics, chemistry, and Latin, and won their respect.  At 18, as the best pupil of my batch, I entered the  medical faculty at Belgrade University. When I got my  M.D. degree after five years, I was already married and  expecting my first child. I think I had been doing the  work of three average working women. 

Yet all along, my forays into medicine, science,  philosophy, or religion were not giving me satisfactory  answers to my ever-persistent question: “What is this  life all about?” Neither evolutionary theory, nor  religious dogmas could fill this ‘black hole’ in my soul.  I have been practicing Hatha Yoga since my second  year at medical school; one of our famous ballerinas  had started yoga classes in 1962, and that helped me  ‘survive’ studying anatomy. Soon I found myself in a  group f people, spanning different ages and  professions, who were reading rare spiritual books.  

A new world opens 

While reading them I came across books by Swami  Sivananda Saraswati of Rishikesh who immediately  won my love and respect. But he was not alive, and  even if he was, I could not have gone to India—I had  too many family and work obligations. Incidentally  my husband got an NIH fellowship to do his post 

doctorate at the Tulane University School of  Medicine, New Orleans, USA, and I too got permission  to attend it from our medical school in Belgrade. The  next two years were spent over there with my family.  While attending Basic Science Research in my second  year at Tulane, I came across a Reader’s-Digest-book  biography of Jiddoo Krishnamurti, whose teaching  appealed to my scientific mind. Subsequently, I  participated in yoga seminars held by Swami  Satyananda Saraswati (one of the chief disciples of  Swami Sivananda) in Switzerland and Slovenia. Later,  I practised Zen Buddhism with masters Roshi Philip  Kapleau (Japanese Zen) and Seung Sahn from South  Korea. I had the good fortune of hosting Master  Seung Sahn for three days at my Belgrade home.  Though I’ve never met the adorable Sri Ramana  Maharshi, but, for years, I carried his picture in my  wallet, keeping in mind his main teaching: ‘Who am  I?’ Finally, this year in February, I visited his ashram  in Tiruvannamalai and enjoyed the beauty of the holy  hill, Arunachala. I have known about Sathya Sai Baba  for decades but visited his Prasanthi Nilayam Ashram  only in 2013 and this year. He too taught, “Siva is  everywhere.” I have always felt that ‘Divine energy’  (the source) is eternally everywhere with no name  and form. It is very clear to me that our human mind  is too limited to grasp such a profound reality. 

Teaching the teachings 

I have been practising Vipassana meditation as  taught by the late Satya Narayan Goenka, since 1995  and it remains my main spiritual practice. I strongly  recommend that everyone should do at least one  10-day course. I have participated in about 28 basic,  10-day courses, organised in India and Europe. I also  completed a teacher’s course at Dhamma Giri,  Igatpuri; along with several such courses organised  in Jaipur, France, England and the USA respectively.  Now I conduct a 10-day course every year (as  Goenkaji advised, to refresh practice). In this tradition,  Vipassana is taught only on the basis of donation. All  the teachers have to earn money through other  means. They teach to further their own spiritual  practice which I love. I was a contact person for  organising courses in Serbia and was very surprised  

to get an invitation to participate in the  Vesak Day celebrations in Bangkok, 2007 by  King Bhumihol on his 80th birthday. My  good karma, I guess! 

As a medical doctor and a scientist, I value  preventive medicine and rehabilitation  because of which I search for effective but  low-cost or free medicine. I also give lectures  called ‘Joyous Holistic Health Workshops’,  which teach people free and easy techniques  for maintaining good health. I have given  interviews for health journals, and sometimes,  appear on some TV programmes in Belgrade  and elsewhere. To sum up, I have found that  there are four main ways to keep our health  and life in order—awareness and changing  the attitudes towards life; breathing exercises  and laughter; physical activities like Hatha  yoga; and healthy food. Knowing that we are  all lazy people, I suggest doing ‘Take-away’  yoga to people—doing everything mindfully  during the day with a smile on our faces,  becoming aware of the breath and body, and  unifying our body, mind, and soul. 

Lastly, I got some ‘final’ answers from my  ‘celestial friends’—you need not ask  superficial questions about God, the genesis  of this planet, or our human life because our  human mind cannot grasp anything outside  time and space; ask your heart more than  your mind how to solve human problems;  respect without a trace of fear, love, and  enjoy the obvious omnipresence of a creator  who people call God; be happy! 

Enjoy, celebrate life, sing, dance, meditate,  be hardworking, and courageous. Joy and  happiness are the best protectors from all  the evils of all the worlds. I have experienced  the ‘celestial sound of silence’ and eversince  lost all fear of death. I observe in my mind  and heart, how much love, peace, and joy I  have from moment to moment. I really feel  there’s enough work ahead for me—for the  next thousands of lives!  

I will finish this story with Goenkaji’s  chant at the end of each Vipassana session:  “Bhavatu Sabba Mangalam.” (May all beings  be happy.) 

At 73, Prof. Dr Spomenka Mujovich is a retired professor  with three grandchildren. After a demanding university  career, she spent two years in the USA for obtaining  higher education and has published scientific papers in  domestic as well as international journals.