Getting respect

"Getting respect" is a fundamental human desire and a cornerstone of healthy relationships, both personal and professional. It's not about dominance or fear, but about being seen, heard, and valued. 

This is a complex topic, so let's break it down into actionable principles. True respect is a combination of the respect you command through your actions and the respect you give to others. 

The Foundation: Self-Respect 

You cannot expect others to respect you if you don't respect yourself first. This is the non-negotiable starting point. 

• Keep Your Promises to Yourself: If you set a goal to work out, read, or finish a project, follow through. This builds self-trust and integrity. 

• Establish Personal Boundaries: Know your limits—what you will and will not accept from others—and be prepared to communicate and enforce them. 

• Practice Self-Care: Taking care of your physical and mental health sends a message to yourself and the world that you value your own well-being. 

• Stop Seeking External Validation: Your worth isn't determined by others' opinions. Validate yourself through your own achievements and character. 

How to Command Respect Through Your Actions 

1. Master Your Communication 

• Speak with Confidence: Avoid fillers ("um," "like"), use a clear and steady tone, and don't be afraid of pauses. Think before you speak. 

• Be Assertive, Not Aggressive: State your needs, opinions, and feelings clearly and directly without being pushy, insulting, or apologetic for having a viewpoint. 

• Aggressive: "This is a stupid idea, and anyone who thinks otherwise is an idiot." 

• Passive: "Oh, uh, yeah, I guess it's okay... whatever you think is best." 

• Assertive: "I understand the benefits of this approach, but I have concerns about [X]. I suggest we consider [Y] as an alternative." 

• Listen Actively: Respect isn't a one-way street. When someone is talking, give them your full attention. Make eye contact, nod, and ask follow-up questions. This shows you value their perspective, making them more likely to value yours. 

2. Demonstrate Competence and Integrity 

• Be Excellent at What You Do: Whether it's your job, a hobby, or a task, strive for quality. People naturally respect competence and dedication. 

• Take Ownership: When you make a mistake, admit it immediately and focus on how to fix it. Blaming others destroys respect. Accountability builds it. 

• Be Reliable: Be someone others can count on. If you say you'll do something, do it well and do it on time. Your word should be your bond. 

• Stay Humble: Confidence is attractive; arrogance is not. Acknowledge your weaknesses and be open to learning from others. 

3. Set and Enforce Boundaries 

This is arguably the most critical skill for getting respect. 

• Define Your Boundaries: What behaviors are unacceptable? (e.g., being spoken to with a raised voice, having your time consistently disrespected, being the subject of gossip). 

• Communicate Them Calmly and Early: Don't wait until you're furious. 

• Example: "I'm happy to help, but I need you to ask me respectfully, not just demand it."

These steps shall indeed help in getting respect

By Jamuna Rangachari