Accept what is

Accept what is

By Megha Bajaj

November 2010

Quiet acceptance can work wonders

If I could die right now, I would. Do not get me wrong. My life is as wonderful as it gets. I love my work. I am surrounded by so much love that even when I am alone, I never feel lonely. Yet, at this moment, I wonder how it would be to lie in God’s lap, no body, no senses, just pure me.

The bell rings. It is the baby from next door. As far as seven-month-olds go, he is the most beautiful one I have seen. His mother, a dear friend of mine, wants to take a nap – so she wonders if I can keep him for a bit. I hug the little bundle of joy and he licks my cheeks. In moments, I forget my desire for dying, and am full of life. God, please, change of plans; do not take me away now. Maybe a hundred years later…

How fickle my feelings are, how quickly they shift from brooding to bliss, and then to something else altogether. This constant up and down troubled me tremendously. But not anymore. Contrary to what I had always believed, life never was meant to be a single shade. It is a mélange, a concoction, a heady brew, right?

For years, I have told myself, “Don’t think negatively.” Has it worked? The moment I tell you, “Don’t think of a mango!” doesn’t the image of a fat, yellow one immediately pop into your head making you salivate for summers? The more I deny, the more a thought makes its presence felt in my head. So, obviously, the answer to eternal bliss lies not in resistance.

 

Then, does it lie in positivity itself? What if I disconnect myself from every negative thought and say, “I am feeling positive.” Would that work? No, not for me! For I may lie to all others, but how do I lie to myself? So, obviously, the answer to equanimity does not lie in denial.

Where then, does equilibrium reside? I know it does, somewhere. For I have seen gurus who have found it. “What is, is,” gently, the words surface in my consciousness and I know this is it. The secret. “Be in the moment,” say the mystics. They do not say, “Be in the happy moment.” “Experience the now,” tell the gurus, not experience the “peaceful now.” A moment is. Life is.

Rather than resisting a sad emotion, I want to experience it. For it is. And I know, in the acceptance something will change. There is a huge difference between acceptance and attention. Acceptance is passive – it is just acknowledging what is. Attention is active – it is an attempt to increase a particular feeling.

In acceptance, we become observers. The one feeling the emotion, and the one accepting that yes, the emotion does exist, are two different ‘you’s. In this distancing, much happens. The elusive peace comes, and gently lays a cool finger against your feverish cheeks. You find the energy to do what needs to be done, and most importantly, you realise, even while all the emotions are churning, there is a part of you that remains centered. The Spirit, God, Life… call it what you may, and it knows, what is, is.