Ancestors

Ancestors

January 2024

Heal Your ANCESTORS 

We cannot deny the importance of revisiting our past  and healing the stuck energies of pain and dysfunctional  patterns acquired from our ancestors if we want to move  forward on the path of greater felicity and freedom, says Navni Chawla

Have you heard the  saying that hurt  people, hurt  people? Often, trauma  or stored hurt is passed  on from one generation  to another.  

The question arises  as to what is trauma.  

Gerald Fromm, PhD,  director of the Erikson  Institute for Education and  Research, defines trauma  as something that short circuits a person’s capacity to  use their mind to process things.  

It is the experience of being so  overwhelmed emotionally that  it shuts down the processing  apparatus of the mind. It invokes  a sense of helplessness, which causes  the traumatised person to have difficulty  regulating their emotions as well as stress. 

Dr Sumaira Joshi, a psychologist at Rewire  Clinic, West Delhi, explains, “The term  generational trauma came out of the Holocaust.  The impact of certain traumatising events  that happen to a community gets passed  down from one generation to another. The  term intergenerational trauma refers to the  transmission of traumatic effects from the  directly traumatised generation to their  offspring. Whereas, transgenerational trauma  travels down the family tree to those who have  not been exposed to the original traumatic  event, like the grandchildren and the great grandchildren. The primary reason for them  to exist is that the trauma was never really  properly dealt with.”  

However, there could be many reasons for  transgenerational trauma to exist other than  just horrific incidents like genocides. Also, it  can be expressed in many different ways. Let’s  explore this further. 

How does transgenerational trauma look  like or feel like? 

Trauma is experienced by different people  in different forms. How it is expressed also  depends on the cause of the trauma. It is also  important to understand that transgenerational  trauma can feel different in the same person at  different life stages. For example, the impact of  a traumatic incident will be felt differently in a  person’s childhood and adulthood.  

Transgenerational trauma manifests itself  through various signs and symptoms, such as  the ones mentioned below: 

Anxiety or mood issues 

Depression 

 Chronic pain 

 Insomnia 

Low self-esteem 

Fear of death 

 Difficulty in trusting others 

No hope for the future 

Panic attacks 

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) • Addiction  

Eating disorders 

 Anger issues 

 Fearfulness 

 Insecurity and frustration 

 Hypervigilance 

 Unhealthy attachment styles 

 Mental health conditions 

 Codependency 

Mini Chakraborty, 21, a psychology student  at Delhi University, says, “There are three  ways in which childhood trauma shows up in  adulthood:  

Dissociation and disconnection from  yourself: One learns to dissociate early on  from their inner self when they grow up in a  chaotic environment where they need some  sort of disconnection to survive. 

Struggle with a lack of identity: One  doesn’t know much about themself as their  developmental years were focussed on  survival rather than getting to know the  world and their self. 

Difficulty being on your own or hyper independence: Either one does not learn to  trust themself or learns that the only person  they can depend on is themself. Both of  them are unhealthy beliefs. 

Lack of trust: One of the main challenges  of experiencing any sort of childhood or  transgenerational trauma is that it becomes  very difficult for the victim to trust others.  As their primary relationships did not feel  safe to them, the pattern extends to all other  relationships. Therefore, such a person will  avoid confiding in people or getting close  to others. 

Not feeling good enough: People suffering  Transgenerational trauma can lead to depression and a host of illnesses from transgenerational trauma also feel  they are not good enough. That’s when they  develop unhealthy coping mechanisms like  stressing too much and overcompensating  for not feeling good enough. This stress has  a devastating impact on their physiology,  causing disease and other problems.  

Aishwarya Chauhan, 25, shares, “After struggling  with polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) for  many years and working with a physiotherapist  and psychotherapist, I realised that it was  caused by childhood and generational trauma.  The stress I was experiencing due to my trauma  was constantly keeping my nervous system and  body in the fight-or-flight mode. As a result, my  hormones struggled to find a balance, leading to  some severe PCOS symptoms.” 

When one becomes aware of the symptoms, the  instinct is to uncover the reasons behind the  occurrence of transgenerational trauma. 

What causes transgenerational trauma: Medical research shows that trauma is passed  down from one generation to another through genetics. The experience of trauma causes  a change at the genetic level and is called  an epigenetic phenomenon. This creates  some shifts in the DNA because of which  some proteins are more likely to be made  as compared to others. This, in turn, affects  the neurochemistry of the brain and even the  chemistry of some cells in the body (where  trauma gets stored). Studies also confirm that  post-traumatic stress PTSD lingers in the body  chemistry of future generations. 

Given below are some of the many causes of  transgenerational trauma: 

Physical or sexual abuse 

Neglect 

Racism or minority stress

Genocides 

Wars 

Poverty 

Oppression 

Natural disasters or famines 

Unhealthy and complex family dynamics

Narcissistic abuse 

Starvation 

Forced migration or displacement 

Slavery 

Transgenerational trauma travelling deep down  in a family or community is often attributed to  it being left unresolved. Difficult circumstances  like cultural dislocation (when people are forced  to leave their homeland) or financially tough  situations also leave a deep traumatic impact  on one’s being. These wounds move down to the  next generations, especially when our parents  or grandparents have mostly lived in survival  mode and could never address their own or their  children’s emotional needs. This is also a form of  trauma. 

“Even things like scarcity mindset, unresolved  grief, or untreated mental illnesses of a great  grandmother or great grandfather can be  passed down to you. You would feel unhappy  for no reason. Often, the third generation  experiences habits of hoarding things or food,  people-pleasing, constantly seeking validation,  dysregulated nervous system, having intrusive  thoughts, and depending on the approval of  others. And those are the times that one can be  thinking the thoughts of their ancestors and  feeling the feelings that do not originally belong  to them,” says Mehak Bakshi, PhD, psychology,  Punjab University. 

Healing and treatment 

Once we have the ability to notice some patterns  and examine them, we also become capable of  changing them. The first step is to recognise  these patterns and acknowledge them. That is  the place to begin any kind of healing. The next  step is to process all that information and do a lot  of self-reflection. This way, one can identify their  underlying negative beliefs about the world and  themself that shape their unhealthy behaviours.  

Kiara Opara, a licensed therapist, has created a  concise manual that contains many points proven  to be very helpful in healing generational  trauma: 

Having boundaries with people to unlearn  some unhealthy characteristics like people pleasing. 

Having tough conversations with loved  ones or a professional who can help with  all the uncomfortable things you could be  experiencing. 

Not sweeping things under the rug. • Holding yourself and others accountable for  the patterns that were passed on to you. It’s  important to not feel like a victim or to hold  bitterness against your parents or ancestors as  that will make it hard for you to release the  patterns and be free of them. Acknowledging  what’s happening and taking ownership to heal  is the best thing to do. 

Spending time in nature will heal you. Nature  is an alchemist and a healer. 

Sunbathing will give you that dose of natural  Vitamin D. 

Resting more deeply by regulating your  sleep cycle and, maybe, learning Yoga Nidra  (conscious sleeping), and other relaxing  practices will benefit your nervous system. 

Getting a nutrient-rich diet. 

Seeking support and going to therapy. • Practising self-compassion. 

Accepting things as they are. 

Filling your cup first.

aking up space. 

Being authentic to who you are. 

Prioritising yourself, your happiness, and  your mental health. 

Intentional physical movements and exercises.

 Allowing yourself to grieve. 

 Taking the healing process slow and not  overworking yourself. 

 Not shaming your pain or story. 

Challenging unhealthy beliefs and making an  effort to change them. 

Cultivating compassion for your family story. 

All ancestral carryforwards are not bad Teal Swan, an American author and spiritual  influencer, explains why it is so important to  heal from ancestral trauma. Having done some  phenomenal work in this area, she says it’s hard  to believe that ancestors play a big role regarding  who we are in this life and, sometimes, that may  leave us powerless. “It might make us think that  our fate has already been decided for us based  on which family we ended up in. But, the truth  is that there are both good and bad qualities that  run in any family line. And like in the game of  cards, we may be given both good and bad cards.  Now it is up to us as to how to play them to our  maximum benefit. Our genetic codes not only  pass down physical features but a whole lot of  things like knowledge, desires, needs, affinities,  preferences, aversions, phobias, aptitudes, beliefs,  feelings, states, and memories. Based on what has  happened before us as well as our struggles in this  life, some of those things are active and some are  inactive. And so, deep down within us, we carry  the downloads of our ancestors,” she says.  

For example, going back long ago, if you had nomadic ancestors then maybe you will inherit the inclination towards stepping out of your comfort zone and living in new places. There  have been many studies done on both animals  and humans that prove the inheritance of trauma and memory across generations. But  what’s worth remembering is that the ancestral  impact can manifest in both positive and  negative ways. It is important to accept that  both live within us—the gift of all the positive  things and also the challenge of all the negative  things running through our family lines. 

he task that we have taken on by being  born is the task of resolving that inherited  trauma. Indeed, so many of the traumas that we  experience in our lifetime are a byproduct of  ancestral trauma,” shared Ms Swan. 

The question when it comes to ancestral healing  is, Can you consciously take advantage of those  gifts and can you consciously master those  challenges? 

Breaking the cycle  

Clearing ancestral trauma is about changing the  detrimental patterns that have been running  rampant in our family lines into new improved  states. Today, humanity is at the crossroads.  We are seeing many detrimental patterns on a  mass scale. They are threatening our existence  as well as that of those who share this planet  with us.  

This change cannot be engendered by disowning  one’s ancestors or walking away from the path of  healing and restoration. When you reject your  parents or ancestors, you also reject yourself as  you are an outcome of your lineage.  

Our progress as a species depends on  the detrimental patterns that have been  travelling from one generation to another.  Since the collective is made up of individuals,  when they dive deep into the journey of healing  ancestral pains and traumas, the whole of the  collective gets healed. This massive movement  will continue to be a recurring theme in the  coming years as the world cracks under the  weight of wars and bloody conflicts. 

To heal and balance ancestral karma, one should  identify the actions that brought about bad  results to the family in the past. Consciously  making different choices, taking different actions,  and pulling the family line in the corrective  direction sets new and beautiful patterns in it. 

To practically heal transgenerational trauma,  one should try to get as much information as  possible about one’s ancestors and the patterns  running in the family line. Then one can  consciously choose what to release and what  to retain, re-own, or rewire in terms of their  lineage. A very important part of breaking  the cycle of transgenerational trauma is to  consciously integrate the good and the bad  parts of one’s lineage rather than only focussing  on the negative as every family lineage will have  good things running in it too. 

True and complete healing can only happen  when one embraces one’s lineage completely.  This involves celebrating and embodying  family legacies like certain recipes, traditions,  folk songs, and rituals practised by our  predecessors. It is in our interest to understand  ancestral karma, which is the sum of all the  behaviours, choices, mental and physical  traits or characteristics, habits, actions, and  emotional states that bring about good or bad  results in life. 

To heal and balance ancestral karma, one  should identify the actions that brought  about bad results to the family in the past.  Consciously making different choices, taking  different actions, and pulling the family  line in the corrective direction sets new and  beautiful patterns in it. For example, if one’s  ancestors exploited forests then one must  donate to organisations that plant trees or save  the environment. If one’s family lineage has a  history of bad addictions or anger issues, then  one must choose to stay away from substance  abuse and practise meditation.  

At a subconscious level, we want to maintain  our belongingness and loyalty towards our  ancestors. But that does not mean that we  should have allegiance to their negative loyalties  and patterns as well. We must dissolve them  by replacing poor patterns with positive ones.  We can practise forgiveness on behalf of our  ancestors to dissolve karmic patterns and help  the family line become free and prosperous. It  could be in the form of forgiving ourselves, our  ancestors, or someone who might have caused  harm to our ancestors. Letting go of something  we or our ancestors are still holding onto helps  the healing process immensely. 

Another powerful method to free ourselves  of ancestral trauma is to hold a safe space for  them in our heart by keeping in touch with our  roots. Visiting our ancestral land and drinking  water from it helps the healing process, as water  holds memories and vibrations of the time when  previous generations lived and thrived. Another  way of reconnecting with them is making and  eating the food they ate, speaking their language,  or keeping their culture, music, skills, arts, and  crafts alive in some form. Keeping an altar of our  ancestors like many Indian households do is also  good. These practices reset our connection with  our ancestors and restore the lost touch. 

Building such a powerful connection with our ancestry will bring improvement in our lives and will add an increasing sense of depth and richness to our existence. Our family line is not out in the world, it is inside us. When we reject our family line, we reject ourselves. It creates splits within our consciousness, resulting in internal separation and suffering. 

We are the combination of our ancestors. Our ancestry is very much alive within us, and it matters. Just as their memories and trauma become our memories and trauma, our joy becomes their joy. 

“The circles of transgenerational trauma break  open when we have resolved to end that pain  here and now within us.” That one resolute and conscious decision of not passing on the baton of pain and wounds to the next generation in the relay race of life makes all the difference. 

Navni Chawla, a Delhi-based writer has a heart brimming with passion for life and loves capturing the beauty of the world through words.