Conditioning on the path

Conditioning on the path

October 2024

While walking the spiritual  path is essential for growth,  it also brings with it a variety  of conditioning, says Suma  Varughese 

Have you ever thought of  how deeply the spiritual  path conditions us? It is ironic, isn’t it, that the very  activity that is meant to free us of  conditioning, and restore us to our  original wholeness and perfection,  also ends up adding more baggage  to our load? 

Well, it can’t be helped. Most of  us enter the spiritual zone as raw  newbies. Perhaps we read a book,  or attended an inspiring talk or  workshop, or even had a spiritual  awakening that launched us into  self-discovery.  

We know virtually nothing about  the terrain that lies ahead, its  innumerable twists and turns,  its many winding orbits. Except  for the occasional seeker who has  taken incarnation virtually fully  realised, the rest of us have to work  the treadmill for many long years.  In the meantime, the conditioning  piles up. 

Among the most prevalent is the  intense fear and resistance to all  negative emotions. Now that we are  aspirants, we feel it is incumbent  to swim in the bliss of peace, love,  

66 LifePositive | OCTOBER 2024 

joy and compassion, and we cringe  each time we experience anger,  greed, jealousy, hate, shame, or  guilt. The message we get, not just  from our own judging mind, but  also from the talks of the gurus  and teachers, is to steer clear of  negative emotions. Of course, few  tell us how to accomplish that,  and what we are meant to do with  them were we unlucky enough to  experience them, so we handle  them in ways we have done all our  lives. Suppress them, deny them,  reframe them, and rationalise  them. 

Since these methods don’t help,  we accumulate other emotional  baggage. We feel bad about  ourselves. Our self-esteem – never  quite whole – dips further. We  often feel discouraged, but if we  are lucky, we still persist, because  honestly there is no going back. We  have been irretrievably changed  by all that we have understood and  experienced, and come what may,  we have no option but to forge  ahead. 

In peeps another little  complication. Spiritual  competition. We hope desperately  that not everyone will get ahead  of us, and that there are a few  laggards we can overtake. Each  time someone says they are in a  great space or have no questions  left, we turn cold. When will our  number come? Jealousy, envy, and  other undesirables step in and  make themselves comfortable in  our inner space, giving us fresh  targets to resist and reject. 

Since we cannot seem to access our  original goodness or compassion  (hidden behind the heap of  unaccepted and unprocessed  negative emotions), we do the next  best thing. We pretend. We pretend  to be loving, kind or compassionate.  To our amazement, it fools no one.  Our recipients cold shoulder us, and  we cannot imagine why. 

We also do our fair share of spiritual  bypassing. This means to ignore our  shadow parts and project that we are  realised souls, in the moment, and  fully conscious. Even aspirational  gurus are guilty of this.  

But nevertheless, bit by bit, by sheer  persistence, we progress. Insights  power us on, teachers shine the  mirror on us, and compel us to see  a little bit of our shadow self at a  time. Life, above all, is relentless  in pushing us onward and forward.  Events and experiences assail us,  and if we have enough awareness  by then, we use them all to grow  by. This, of all things, is what helps  us the most. As we encounter and  overcome all the dragons life sends  us, confidence builds, and with that  so does our self-esteem, and the  capacity to look at our shadow side  in its face. Hurray, we are on our  way! Suma Varughese is a teacher of words and wisdom.  She broadcasts spiritual truths and a love for  writing in her various capacities as columnist,  writer, writing coach, and the founder-facilitator  of the popular Zen of Good Writing Course. She  is the former editor of Life Positive and Society  magazines. She has authored Travelling Light,  Travelling Lighter, and 50 Life Lessons. She can be  contacted at sumavarughese@gmail.com 

We welcome your comments and suggestions on  this article. Mail us at editor@lifepositive.net