Discard negativity to move towards positivity

Discard negativity to move towards positivity

Our negative emotions are our worst enemies as they harm us enormously . We need to work on eliminating them from our system. 

The World Health Organisation has noted that the most neglected area of health is mental health. One of them is  the often misused emotion of anger. Pulkit Sharma, a clinical psychologist and author from Puducherry says “Essentially, we dont like to be angry. We find it very immature and make many resolutions to do so, but anger finds a way to come back. This can be resolved only by recognising the cause and working on it. “

He shares an experience of a client Tapasi. When she was a toddler, she would throw a fit whenever things did not go her way. She would weep uncontrollably, scream and wouldn’t allow anyone to placate her. Her parents were worried and intimidated by her anger. They would try not to contradict her and would go out of their way to cajole and pamper her.

As she grew up and eventually completed her schooling, her aggression intensified and there were frequent and violent outbursts, a few of them really extreme. Once she expressed a wish to be taken out for dinner, but her father said that he was very tired. Tapasi could not take it. She banged the door of her bedroom shut and for the next half hour, squashed everything in her room with a sledgehammer. There were broken pieces of glass, plastic, wood and plaster all around. Her knuckles were bleeding, and her wrists were swollen.

Her parents thought marriage would heal her but it did not. She found her husband Subroto too cold. Motherhood complicated Tapasi’s life further. More problems surfaced between Tapasi and her son, Tanay, who was now five years old. She complained that she had no time for herself as she was constantly cleaning up his clutter. Subroto had to take over all the responsibilities — including feeding, brushing, bathing and taking Tanay to school. The child was very fond of Subroto and their bond grew stronger.  

Tapasi hated this and threatened Tanay that she was going to commit suicide and that he would never see his mother again. She told Pulkit clearly that she was doing this because she did not wish to lose Tanay. She firmly believed that her anger was justified and that only the way she expressed it, was wrong. Thankfully, as she started contemplating on her anger, the perception changed slowly and Tapasi became aware of the damage that her rage had inflicted on her and others. She learnt guided meditation for infusing her soul with peace and started practising it regularly thereby getting rid of this terrible emotion in her.

Other negative emotions

Guilt is another great negativity inside of us. The solution for this is again, both empathy and self-love. Ego too is another waste inside of us.  We think that it protects us but it does just the reverse. To diminish its powerful force one needs to increase awareness of oneself and develop love and empathy for others.

Solutions

We can see that the solution to all the inner negativity  is compassion, empathy and love for others and our own selves.

As we can see, we need to work on ourselves to create the best version of ourselves. This is how the universe is designed. We need to understand that for every issue that we have, the universe also provides a solution that never fails to deliver. 

 Many healers maintain that even physical illnesses are created by lack of love and mental stress. Renowned healer Bruce Lipton has said that by changing our thoughts we can change our reality. He continues by saying, once we accept that WE are responsible for everything that happens to us, we become empowered to take back control of our lives. The late Louise Hayes said that we march towards complete wellness through self- love through which she could heal from a life threatening disease like cancer.  In the Indian context, the late Swami Sivananda told us to always treat the mind first before working on the body.  There are many others too who led a complete life only by keeping negativity out of their lives. This is important for a truly clean, holistic and wholesome life. 

We do indeed realise that mental health can be set right only by working on ourselves. Here, our emotional baggage, is a big deterrent. Positive vibes enter only when negativity goes and this usually requires us working on it. Prayers of course help a lot in guiding us on the path of spirituality. This does not mean everything will become perfect. What it does mean is  that we can throw garbage out and invite positivity into our lives. For, life after all is a process and the more we work on ourselves, the better our journey would be. 

By Jamuna Rangachari