Die to the past

Die to the past

January 2023

Dr. Bijal Maroo would like us to start Year 2023 with a promise to  ourselves to not delve into the past but live life fully in the moment 

The words “die to the past” are indelibly  

etched in my memory. They were  written by the famous author Eckhart  Tolle in his best-selling book The Power of  Now. To be intensely alive in the present  moment, we must rid ourselves of the past.  

We are all familiar with the tales of King  Vikramaditya and Betaal. Why was the  vampire given this particular name ‘Betaal’?  Well, my interpretation is that it meant ‘be 

taal,’ meaning ‘one who is out of sync or out of  step.’ ‘Taal,’ as we all know, is the metric cycle  of rhythm in music. Taal breathes life into the  music. Hence, ‘Be-taal’ is the one without life,  the corpse.  

We are just like Betaal when we lose touch with  the present moment and slip into the past. We  are no longer alive because the past is no longer  alive. We do not realise how often we die in this  manner.  

In Betaal Pachisi, Vikram was also tempted  into commenting on an incident that was done  and dusted in an era of yore. He was compelled  to use his intellect to stand in judgment and  justify what he stood for. All this made him  lose consciousness and the past (Betaal) ran  away with his lifeblood. Vikram kept chasing  it instead of staying in the present moment.  He did this foolishly, twenty-five times over.  Lifeblood in this context means the awareness  of the present moment.  

What was the threat that Betaal used to coerce  Vikram into answering? “If you don’t answer,  your head will roll away from your body.” The  head represents the intellect. It is your very  identity and, hence, your ego. When truly  conscious, one no longer takes sides, nor does  one lose the present moment. Hence, the ego  or the head is bound to roll away. Ego and  intellect belong to this world of illusions.  Why, then, are we always so married to our  past? Why can’t we divorce it and move on  with our lives? This is because it comprises two  types of thoughts: 

•  Pleasant memories—of happy times, of  fun with family and friends. 

•  Unpleasant memories—things or events  that did not happen as per our wishes. 

Why do we revisit the past so often? We sit on  the threshold of time with our backs to the  present and continue to stare at the past. We  do this because we are dissatisfied with the  present moment. We resist it and are unable to  surrender to what is. It’s the emotional charge  of the past that makes breaking free such an  arduous task. 

When we are dissatisfied with our current lives,  we seek to dive into a sea of pleasant memories.  We feel a sense of poverty as compared to the  better and more fulfilling past. We yearn for  what we have lost. 

However, when we delve into the past  unpleasant conditions, we judge who was  wrong and how we were served an injustice.  Our ego makes us victims, and we take on this  role willingly. We wish to turn back the clock  as we desperately want to paint the past with  different colours, with colours of our victory.  We want to triumph over those who hurt us  and over situations which turned against us  and thus avenge ourselves. We live in the hope  of better times and resist what we believe is a  life we do not deserve. 

Seneca, the Stoic philosopher, writes, “We  suffer more in imagination than in reality.”  

The actual incident occurs but once. Yet we  die a million deaths, each time we relive the  incident in our minds. 

Besides dwelling in the past through our  thoughts, we also act in default mode, living  life mainly by force of habit. However, that  need not be the case. Just as we have a totally  new body every seven years, we can have a  totally different mind, personality, and way of  thinking, whenever we choose to. 

So, how do we break off ties with the past? 

1. Being unpredictable 

Deep Trivedi, the author of the book I am the  Mind, says that it is wise to be unpredictable,  else people can take advantage of us. When  we are predictable, they can confine us to a  box with predefined labels. For example, if  someone knows my temperament, they know  exactly how I will behave in a given situation.  Thus, they can plan their moves carefully and  negotiate any contract to their advantage. 

One way to do this is to try new things daily.  We can break away from our routine every so  often. It does not have to be very drastic; some  small changes will do. We can change the daily  breakfast menu or change the time we have  it. We can take a different route to and from  work. We can swap the time of our meditation  or prayers and exercise. What if we let soft  music play in the background or listen to an  audiobook instead of playing the same rock,  pop, or heavy metal while we exercise? We can  even read a book by a new author or read a  different genre of books, instead of picking up  the newspaper, first thing in the morning. 

The mind always clings to the familiar. It finds  the unknown dangerous because it has no  control over it. When we step beyond autopilot  

mode, we finally start living in conscious  mode. We go beyond the mind. 

2. Meditation 

It is only when we knock on the doors of  consciousness during meditation that we  realise how often we slip into unconsciousness.  It helps us know the myriad ways in which  the ego holds us captive. Hence, the practice  of meditation holds the key to breaking away  from the past, to breaking free from the vicious  grip of the ego.

Meditation holds the key to becoming more present 

3. Overcoming the emotional charge of past  events. 

A. Reminiscing pleasant memories: Well, we  can try and be grateful for the good life we  enjoyed in the past. Gratitude helps attract  more of the same in our life. Then, we are  busy creating more beautiful memories in the  present moment rather than trying to cling to  a beautiful but now dead past. Very often, we  continue to take pride in our past laurels. By  doing this, we stagnate and fail to learn new  things and achieve more in life. Being grateful  for our past successes helps us move on and  achieve greater heights. 

B. Replaying old, unpleasant memories:  Forgiveness is the key here. We can forgive  and learn to delete these from our memory.  It is important, however, to take note of the  insights and the lessons that these experiences  offered. Thus, we unshackle ourselves and can  perceive greener pastures, which were earlier  obliterated by our myopic past. 

Here, I cite some practical ways to overcome  regret, guilt, resentment, anger, and other  negative feelings of the past. We can use these  three techniques to forgive ourselves and  others:  

I] The Sedona Method: This technique consists  of a series of questions to ask ourselves. They  lead our awareness to what we are feeling in  the moment and gently guide us into the  experience of letting go. 

Exercise: 

•  First, we focus on an issue that we would  like to feel better about. Then, we allow  ourselves to feel whatever we are feeling  

in this moment—all the anger, rage,  frustration, resentment, and guilt. 

•  Then we ask the following question:  “Could I let this feeling go?” If the answer  is “Yes,” 

•  Then we ask, “When?” This is an invitation  to just let it go NOW.If the answer is “Yes,” •  We just visualise all the negative emotions  leaving us, in the form of a black cloud.  •  We repeat these steps till we feel light and  free. 

II] Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT): This  technique consists of tapping on nine points  which are considered to be energy meridians  as per Chinese acupuncture. 

The points are as follows: 

•  karate chop (KC) 

•  eyebrow (EB)  

•  side of the eye (SE) 

•  under the eye (UE)  

•  under the nose (UN 

•  chin cleft (Ch) 

•  beginning of the collarbone (CB) •  under the arm (UA)  

•  top of the head (TH) 

The steps are as follows: 

Identify the issue that is causing emotional  distress. 

Test the initial intensity. You need to set a  benchmark level of intensity. The intensity  level is rated on a scale of 0 to 10, with 10 being  the worst or most difficult. 

The setup. Prior to tapping, you need to  establish a phrase that explains what you’re  trying to address. It must focus on two main  goals: 

- acknowledging the issues 

- accepting yourself despite the problem presents 

The common setup phrase is “Even though I have  this (situation or problem), I deeply and completely  love and accept myself.” Begin by tapping the  karate chop point while simultaneously reciting  your setup phrase three times. 

Next, while saying this phrase “The anger/ hurt/  fear that I feel about the situation/problem,” tap  on each of the following points a few times, moving  down the body in this order: EB, SE, UE, UN, Ch,  CB, UA, and lastly on TH, without tapping on the  KC again. 

5. Measure the intensity of your feelings and  continue steps 3–4 till the intensity is down to 1  or 2. 

III] Ho’oponopono: This technique consists of  accepting full responsibility for all the things  that disturb us or make us distraught. We ask the  Universe to help us forgive ourselves and all other  people and situations which might have caused  this disagreeable life condition. Later, we thank  the Universe for coming to our aid and send out  love into the Universe. 

This entire exercise is done through four phrases: •  I am sorry 

•  Please forgive me  

•  Thank You  

•  I love you 

Dr Bijal Maroo  

Send out good vibrations into the universe 

We can say them in any sequence and chant them  like a mantra repeatedly. This helps to clear up the  negativity that we feel about a particular situation. 

The famous singer Lionel Richie hit the nail on  the head when he said, “When your past calls,  don’t answer. It has nothing new to say.” I wish we  can ring in the New Year that is truly new with no  burden of ghosts from the past. 

An Arts based Therapy practitioner, Dr Bijal Maroo is a homeopath 

ic consultant, counselling and health psychologist since 20 years. She  

reflects on life through her gifts as a writer, poet and singer. Contact 

drbijjalmaru@rediffmail.com or visit www.drbijalmaroo.com 

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