Learning to trust

Learning to trust

June 2017

By Vidya Murlidhar

Many of you will agree with the statement that, trust is a dwindling virtue these days. At a time when competition and greed run rampant, we live like tiny isolated islands, lonely and feeling that we have to do everything on our own. A boss is overwhelmed because the duties he delegates do not bring in results fast enough, a mother is overwhelmed with the task of constantly monitoring her boys’ internet surfing, a young wife is overwhelmed with the idea of living up to the expectations of the people around her, a senior wonders if he will wither away alone, a teenager seeks advice from unreliable sources online rather than trust his parents or peers about his heartfelt turmoil, a husband would turn to alcohol rather than confide in his companion about his insecurities. We find ourselves so lost, alone and misunderstood that we trust nobody, often not even ourselves. In an over populous world; shouldn’t just our whispers be enough to cause a ripple and reach the other end? Yet we are plagued with the incessant need to stand on rooftops and scream out our worth only to find that nobody listens.

Maybe my friends, it is because we are looking at the virtue of trust all wrong. Have you ever wondered, what we mean when say we trust somebody? When a wife tells her husband she trusts him or a mother tells her son that she trusts him, she usually means that she knows what they do with their time when she is not around. When a boss tells his subordinates he trusts them he means they will deliver exactly what he expects them to. So you see in almost every scenario the trust we place in people is linked to our expectations from them. We conjure up images in our minds of what people in our lives should be like or do. And if they happen to drift from away from the picture we have created, we feel betrayed. Trust, as we see, loosely translates to unmet expectations.

How about tweaking our perspective a little? How about filling ourselves with the understanding that there is a gentle, powerful energy that permeates all beings. An all knowing, dynamic force that resonates in our hearts and knows what is best for us. Instead of sketching mental images of people working hard to build your trust, sketch a picture of placing your belief in this power.

Then my friends, it will dawn on us that trust is a knowing that in the grandiose scheme of life, all is well, always. It is a knowing that there is never a perfect time, perfect place or perfect person. Everything is perfect as is. Trust is a knowing that our spouse, kids, friends and all other people in our world are souls on their own journey who cannot be controlled. Trust is a knowing that you cannot change anybody but yourself. It is knowing you are enough yet never alone, and are always looked after. It is a surrender to the grace that will permeate our every pore, if we allow it. So, the next time we tell somebody, we trust them, let it empower them through our love and faith in their ability. Let us truly respect them by lending our support to their decisions though it may not be what we want of them. We may then become interlinked islands of hope instead of being isolated islands of despair.