Let wagging tongues wag

Let wagging tongues wag

Swami Mukundananda encourages  

us to remain true to ourselves and turn a  

Nelson’s eye to what others think or say  

about us

We spend too much thought and  

energy trying to gain the approval of others.  

While making decisions, ‘What will others  

think’ remains a dominant thought in the  

mind. Instead of running our own race in life,  

we get bogged down in pleasing others. This  

must change. 

You can never please everyone  

No matter what you do, there will always be  

those who will find fault, discourage, and  

dislike you. That is the nature of worldly  

people. 

Even Mother Sita was not spared of it. Though  

she had proved her chastity beyond all doubt  

through a trial by fire, a dhobi (washerman)  

emerged who cast aspersions on her and said to  

his wife, ‘I am not like Ram who brought Sita  

home after she had stayed in Ravan’s Lanka  

for a year.’ When the Mother of the universe  

could not be free from detractors in the era of  

Lord Ram, then it is unrealistic for us to expect  

everyone’s approval in today’s environment of  

You can never please everyone 

hypocrisy.  

Sharing 59 

As the expression goes, it takes all sorts to make  this world. Others just cannot handle your  success because it makes them look bad. For  their own peace of mind, they love tearing you  down. 

Therefore, never be surprised if, even after  doing good, you still receive caustic censure. If  you receive the promotion you deserved, do not  expect a standing ovation from everyone around  you. Be prepared to hear comments like, “She  butters up her boss” or “His rise is all because  of office politics,” and so on. In fact, the more  successful you are, the more criticism will come  your way. Do not let the ‘gossip police’ sabotage  your flight to glory. 

Remember, it is not about you 

People have their own conflicts and emotional  issues that need resolution. They carry anger,  frustration, and disappointment in them. They  look for places to dump their baggage. If you  allow them, they will empty their garbage onto  you. Their negativity is not about you; it is just  the way they are. If you consider their approval  important, very soon, they will start controlling  and manipulating you. 

What is the key to handling negativity? Remember this bit of wisdom—nobody can  hurt you unless you allow them to. Here is an  anecdote highlighting this principle: 

•  In an institute for the hearing and speaking  impaired, two inmates had a serious tiff. An  official was assigned to straighten out things  between them. On reaching their section, the  official found one of the men with his back  to the other, chuckling with amusement,  while the other was gesturing frantically. 

•  “What is going on here?” said the official,  

speaking with his hands. “Why is your  partner so annoyed?” 

•  The deaf person gestured with glee, “We had  a fight. Now he wants to swear at me, but I  refuse to look in his direction. That is why  he is so mad.” 

The deaf man was taking advantage of the fact  that he could not hear. Hence, the other could  only vent fury if he looked towards him. In our  case, we will have to learn how to turn a deaf  ear to the noise around us. Deal with it by  growing in awareness. When you know someone  is physically handicapped, it evokes your  sympathy. Likewise, with a negative person, feel  compassion rather than hurt by not taking it  personally. One way to do this is to count your  blessings and think, God is sitting inside the other  person too. He is testing my tolerance in an attempt  to push me to grow. 

What others say does not define you People who barely know you feel they have the  right to pass judegment on your worth. But as  the saying goes, you cannot judge a book by its  cover. Factually, what others say characterises  them, not you. 

Do also bear in mind that all the praise you  receive will come to naught upon death. You  leave it all behind and move on to the afterlife.  At that time, the only thing of importance will  be the extent to which God was pleased by your  life and work. So, focus on being good in the  eyes of the Lord who is the constant witness to  your karma. 

Gain wisdom on all aspects of life by world-renowned  Spiritual Leader, Swami Mukundananda, in his latest  book, Golden Rules for Living Your Best Life, published  by Rupa Publications India. 

H H Swami Mukundananda—a yogi, a world-renowned spiritual teacher, an authority on  mind management, an IIT and IIM alumnus, and a bhakti saint—is the founder of JKYog.  He is the author of several books: Science of Mind Management | Bhagavad Gita: The  0

Song of God.