Minding my tongue

Minding my tongue

May 2023

In a battle between Shivi Verma’s conscience and her desire to titillate the taste  buds, the former came up trumps 

Afew days ago, I was discussing eating habits  with a friend of mine.  She is a non-vegetarian while I, a  vegetarian. She said that we have  a short life, so we must enjoy it to  the hilt and not have any hang-ups  about food choices. I told her that  my preferences had changed over  the years and that I feel happier  being a vegetarian and do not relish eating meat anymore. This conversation took me down  memory lane, when I used to be  a big food lover. I loved eating a  variety of foods and relished non veg dishes. I drooled over the  mutton, chicken, and fish curries  made by my mother and would  happily gorge on biryanis, butter  chicken, tandoori chicken, and  kebabs when I ate out. But what  created an obstacle in my mind was  my love for nature and animals. I  wondered how I could not feel any  compunction while wolfing down  the bodies of the same animals I  loved. It created a dichotomy in  my mind. Moreover, at the turn of  the road that led to my house was  a butcher’s shop. Every day while  returning from school, I would see  lambs and goats tied before the  shop, waiting helplessly for their  turn to get killed just to fill human  stomachs. 

Once I lifted the bamboo blind  that covered the meat shop and  was horrified to see what was  happening inside. I don’t have  the courage to describe the scene. 

My conscience told me that it was  unethical to eat meat. It was wrong  to rob a living being of its life just  to momentarily give pleasure to  my tongue. But I did not have  the resolve to fight off the urge to  eat meat when it was presented  before me looking delectable and  smelling heavenly. I would give in  to gustatory pleasures, postponing  my ethics for another day. When  I turned 20, I once again decided  to quit eating meat after watching  a TV programme anchored by  Maneka Gandhi. I fought hard  against the temptation. It was  difficult to see others enjoying  succulent pieces of chicken curry  while I contented myself with dal  chawal. I was jeered and teased by  friends and family members alike  for trying to act on my resolve.  They said things like “It takes  good fortune to be able to savour  the joys of life” or “You eat grass  while we eat the food of the king  of the jungle.”The problem was  not their teasing as much as my  intense desire to indulge, which I  was finding difficult to overcome. I  held out for a few months and then  gave in. I argued in my mind that  if God disapproved of meat-eating,  

He wouldn’t create carnivorous  animals. I also convinced myself  that meat-eating was the same  as fruit-eating as both had life.  However, deep down, I knew that I  was not acting in consonance with  my heart. I was simply trying to  justify my craving for eating flesh. 

Mercifully, in a few years, meditation  happened to me. As my practice  intensified, I observed a gradual  fading of my lust for non-vegetarian  food. I would not salivate at the  sight of meat dishes. I was employed  in a company which served meat  every day at highly subsidised rates,  but I was unmoved by the sight as  well as the offer. Moreover, even if  I ate meat by accident, I would feel  queasy for a long time. My mental  and physical vibrations were not  in alignment with the vibration  produced by meat. I felt cleaner,  mentally sorted, and more grounded  with my new food habits. 

Finally, my mind and heart were  on the same page. I had tamed the  galloping horses of sense pleasures  with the help of God. 

Editor of Life Positive, Shivi  Verma is a devotee who found  all her answers in loving God  passionately. 

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