Staying as I am

Staying as I am

Pradeep Krishnan has an interesting and enlightening conversation with Shri Rajiv Kapur, a  master who is carrying forward the legacy of Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi 

Reading some of the articles and  listening to several talks on the internet  of Shri Rajiv Kapur, a businessman  turned enlightened master, prompted me to  contact him in Hyderabad, where he lives with  his wife, Smt Anita Kapur, and two children,  Akansha Kapur and Aniruddha Kapur.  Though lovingly addressed as Guruji by his  students, he doesn’t like to be called a jnani,  yogi, or guru. He prefers to be recognised as  only a fellow sadhaka (seeker), divine friend,  or simply as Rajivji or Rajiv.  The 50-year-old master regularly conducts live  and online satsangs (spiritual gatherings) and  retreats, writes articles and books, and grants  private sessions to seekers all over India and  abroad.  

When contacted, Rajivji at once consented  to an online interview. The presence of an  enlightened master and his humble manners  and joyful face lifted my mood.  

Sir, please describe your mystic journey. Let me first acknowledge with deep reverence,  all the great masters, my gurus, and specifically  Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi, all of whom  have blessed me with abundant love, so that I  am able to bring forth the teachings to those  who are interested. With a deep sense of  humility, I bow to each one of them. 

As a schoolboy, at the age of 12 or 13, I used to  sit with my eyes closed in my room, pondering  what lay within this dark space inside my head.  I had noticed that thoughts and stories appear  and disappear from this inner space, but I  wasn’t convinced that thoughts, images, and  ideas were the only thing this darkness held  within itself. So, I used to sit for hours on end,  pondering over what lay beyond this darkness. 

As a teenager, I noticed that my motivation  to inquire deeper into the void (the darkness  between my eyebrows in my third eye) was  now intermittent, in that I felt drawn to the  void but also to the world of attraction (due to  maya). Around the age of 22, I was introduced  to the book Autobiography of a Yogi and was  deeply drawn, almost pulled into the path, and  wholeheartedly decided to pursue the path of  Kriya Yoga. I sat for hours in the morning and  evening, often neglecting work, but somehow  things automatically fell into place and were  taken care of. I was convinced that all is  provided for if we seek God alone and that He  will look after everything. I had many mystical  experiences too—related to the breath, the  mind, energies, and the astral body—which no  one could explain to me.  

Without a personal guru, I felt lost at times,  with my heart craving to connect with God.  This was a very frustrating period, and  yearning deeply for a personal guru, I often  cried, feeling a great sense of abandonment  and loss. Day by day, I felt so separated or cut  off from divinity. 

•  How did your interactions with Shri  Edward Muzikaji, a disciple of Robert  Adams, happen? 

Though a novice to Kriya Yoga sadhana  (spiritual practice), by then, I had realised  that a guru and shishya (disciple) must have  personal interactions to meet the latter’s  specific sadhana requirements. For several  years, I searched for a personal guru who could  guide me in the mystical world of Kriya Yoga  and who could devote time and energy on a  one-on-one basis, just like in the traditional  guru-shishya relationship. Unfortunately,  wherever I went, I could only see impersonal  initiations and instructions. 

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Finally, I met my Kriya Yoga guru, Sri  Maheshwari Prasad Dubeyji, belonging to  the lineage of Shri Panachanan Bhattacharyaji,  the first disciple of Shri Lahiri Mahasaya.  When I sought permission to host Him at my  home in Mumbai, after some initial hesitation,  He agreed to visit me. Then followed the most  enriching and exciting one and a half months  of my life. In His presence, I felt like a vast  space engulfing both of us. Thoughts were  hardly present, and they had no impact on  me. I was blissed out most of the time, and my  Kriya deepened. I had many experiences of  spontaneous awakenings of cosmic light and  inner sound, astral experiences, lucid dreams,  etc. Unfortunately, Sri Dubeyji left his body  soon, and I felt lost once again.. 

For a few years, though I continued the Kriya  practices, seeking guidance from a few advanced  disciples of Dubeyji, I felt incomplete. One day,  while performing Kriya, I heard a voice inside  my head saying, “Stop all this. Just BE.” I kept  ignoring the voice, but the voice got louder and  louder. Once I dropped all effort, an effortless  state of pure joy and bliss enveloped me from  within and without. My breath became totally  still, and my heart almost stopped beating. I  was in a state of indescribable ease and ecstasy.  A friend and fellow sadhaka told me about Sri  Ramana Maharshi’s teachings and said that I  may be experiencing a non-dual state.  

As I was not aware of Sri Ramana, someone  suggested that I write to Mr Ed Muzika, a  disciple of Shri Robert Adams, who was a direct  disciple of Sri Ramana. Edji introduced me  to the whole new world of Atma-vichara (Self 

enquiry) and, ultimately, we co-authored the  book Autobiography of a Jnani, describing the  experiences of my three-month-long sadhana  of being guided on how to abide in the Self  everlastingly.  

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•  On your spiritual journey, you have  met many masters, studied several  techniques, and finally come to the path  of Self-enquiry. How do you now consider  your experiences on the different paths? 

No form of sadhana is ever futile. All lead to  God. The one who is earnest and dedicated will  get whatever is needed at a particular time.  Techniques don’t lead to the truth, but they  may help break the deep-rooted patterns of the  mind, which is habituated to flowing outwards.  Once obstacles are removed, techniques too are  to be dropped. As they say, one needs the boat  only to cross the lake. Once it is crossed, there  is no need to carry the boat along with you. It  is the same with techniques. 

•  Why should one know the Self? Several  books, talks, and techniques confuse the  reader. 

Sri Krishna described this world as  ‘Dukhalayam Asasvatam’ (a temporary place  full of miseries). Sri Robert Adams described  this world as the lowest form of hell. Many  masters and gurus have described the world to  be so too. So, either take their word to be true  or find out for yourself; the choice is yours. If  you honestly and objectively look around, you  will see it for yourself. Watch those who are  only interested in the world, and watch those  who are interested in the Self (while engaged  in the world without attachment) and see the  quality of their life.  

The worldly man goes in pursuit of providing  comfort and pleasures to the body, amassing  wealth, and acquiring name and fame. In his  case, he is surrounded by worries, anxieties,  and troubles. That doesn’t mean one should  become a recluse. Rather, one must definitely  spend time daily withdrawing into the Self to  enjoy the best of both worlds in a balanced way.  

Then life can be a beautiful experience, not  identifying with or attaching to anything other  than Self or God. 

Seekers are confused because instead of sitting  quietly and dealing with the real issue within,  they’re looking for answers in spiritual books,  listening to talks, discussions, and debates. It  is just more chatter and entertainment, feeding  the mind with more ideas and concepts. Some  may want to escape their pain and misery  hoping that a guru or master will provide a  quick fix to all their problems. As long as one  doesn’t realise that all solutions lie within  oneself and one doesn’t make the supreme  effort to connect with ‘I-amness,’ the puzzle  will remain unsolved. 

•  Is this connecting with the ‘I-amness’  called the process of Self-enquiry? According to Sri Ramana, the mind is  nothing but a bundle of thoughts. Thoughts  are considered obstacles to Self-realisation  as they result in agitating one emotionally.  He, therefore, advised that thoughts must be  silenced or given up as soon as they arise and  that one must not get carried away by them.  And this has to be done by watching with a  keen sense of alertness whenever a thought  arises and by pondering To whom does this  thought arise? This is the process of Self enquiry or Atma-vichara. In short, exclusively  holding on to the sense of ‘I’ or ‘I am’ while  ignoring thoughts is Self-enquiry.  

Initially, the mind will resist moving inwards  as it has a habitual tendency to indulge in  thoughts concerning the world, but later on,  it begins to ease itself within and isolate the  ‘I am’ feeling. Once that is accomplished, then  the practitioner needs to pause several times  during the day to look at or feel the ‘I am’ to  

maintain a connection with his sense of being.  As one continues to hold onto this ‘I am’ state,  the bliss deepens and all thoughts lose their  hold and grip on the sadhaka. It’s all about how  deep your practice is. An intoxicating blissful  state will begin to be felt at the Heart centre,  and one is effortlessly pulled back into the Self.  A time arrives when one remains unaffected by  anything happening in the world. The world is  then known to be only a dream. 

•  Please describe the technique devised  by you, the Advaita Soma Kriya Shakti  (ASK), that is described as a systematic,  scientific, and structured way of abiding  in the Self permanently. 

The ASK program comprises three processes:  Churning, Burning, and Affirming. The  Churning process is the act of separating the  Self from the non-Self (world of objects.) Just  as water mixed with milk still appears to be  milk but is actually adulterated, similarly, the  mixing of the Self with the non-Self creates  mixed feelings about ourselves and the objects  we come in contact with. Due to this mixed  awareness, one is not able to express divine  joy and happiness at all times. The Churning  process, therefore, is to keep the life force, or  prana, away from the mental attachment to  sense objects and move it inwards towards  the ‘I am’ feeling. In the Churning process,  old habitual patterns resurface from the  subconscious and begin to bubble up in the  form of fear of losing out, anger, frustration,  sadness, or old memories of lack. These  emotions that are suppressed within our  subconscious play a very big role in our lives. 

The pure ‘I am’ sense often gets obscured  due to these emotions hidden within us, and  hence, we need to release them. That is done  through the Burning process where we allow  the emotions to arise and then embrace them 

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without trying to get rid of them or wanting  to modify or manipulate them in any way. We  allow every emotion to run its course, without  paying any attention to the thoughts that may  simultaneously arise too. If we don’t resist the  sensation or tension that the emotion creates  within, we will be able to relax within a short  time, and that emotion will ‘burn’ and get  released. If we don’t burn our emotions, they  will keep agitating our minds through thoughts.  Notice how thoughts begin to race in our  minds when we are emotionally overwhelmed.  To effectively remove the obstacle of thoughts,  we need to first burn these emotions and learn  how to neutralise them. Once emotions settle,  thoughts will automatically settle down too,  and we can begin to feel the pure sense of ‘I  am’ again. This is done through the Burning  process. 

Continuing with the Churning and Burning  process, Affirming happens on its own. The  fluctuations of the mind are greatly reduced  and attention begins to stay centred around the  area of the chest. An inner, intoxicating bliss  and joy begin to surface, replacing ordinary  emotions like fear and anxiety. Moreover, a  natural state of love and trust for God or the  Unknown begins to open one’s Heart. The  Crown (top of the head), the third eye, and  the Heart, all feel wide open, and one can feel  very expansive, like space itself, desiring and  wanting nothing. There is total contentment.’ 

•  Is ASK, vis-à-vis Self-enquiry, preached  by several masters, including Bhagavan  Sri Ramana Maharshi? 

How can I or anyone else dare to develop  anything other than Sri Ramana’s teachings?  Sri Ramana’s teachings are absolutely complete  in and of themselves. The path of Self-enquiry,  as advocated by Sri Ramana, is direct and  

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simple to understand but it is not that easy  to apply. You are asking the mind to remain  absorbed in something called the Self which,  for most, would remain an abstract concept,  as most would just feel the body sensation or  emotional state and nothing other than that  unless one has the patience to persevere and  make continuous efforts in that direction.  Even Nisargadatta Maharaj kept holding the  sense of ‘I am’ for three years before he was  able to finally ‘get it.’ 

However, throughout the years of my teaching,  I realised that not many can just ignore their  thoughts and simply BE. There is so much  rajas and tamas which keeps one wanting to  do, do, do, seek, seek, seek, react, react, react!  It’s difficult to ignore these tendencies due  to past established patterns, and hence, these  tendencies need to be exhausted. Emotions too  need to be released as they stand between the  mind and the ‘I am’ like a wall. One needs to  break through that wall and reach the pure ‘I  am’ feeling, or else they will keep piling up. 

Today, everyone wants quick results and the  market is flooded with New Age teachers  promising instant Self-realisation. The fact is  that the Self can’t be known unless one is  committed to remaining silent and using all the  tools to pull the mind inwards. The mind has  to be repeatedly brought towards the Self, and  unless one has trained the mind (disciplined  it) or one is vigilant enough, how will that  be possible? To be totally disinterested in  thoughts will require vairagya (dispassion) and  practice as well. They will need a programme  that will motivate them to stay on course. The  ASK program provides a systematic process by  breaking down the Self-enquiry method of Sri  Ramana into small steps so that it is easier to  follow. In this programme, I have incorporated  

breath work, positive affirmations, and letting go techniques, going deeper through the sitting  meditations, so that the coverings around the Self  get dropped and we can feel the ‘I am’ in its purest  form. 

•  Why do you say that the teachings or  practices of contemporary neo-Advaita  teachers of remaining in the Self or being  in the Now are neither intense enough nor  deep enough?  

Being in the Now, probably the only valid  instruction or pointer given by neo-Advaitins, does  indeed provide a glimpse of our true nature as it  keeps the mind away from dwelling in the past and  going into the future. By being in the present, the  seeker experiences a limited sense of peace and  freedom as it provides instant relief in some way  due to the temporary stillness experienced by the  mind. A state of Oneness and expansiveness with  everything around us is experienced. However,  this is just the starting point of the journey, a mini awakening. Neo-Advaita teaching is necessary  and valid, much like the way kindergarten is to  one who has started schooling. It is a good way to  begin, but one needs to go deeper than the waking state experience of Oneness. Oneness keeps the  illusion of the world as real. It is still within time. 

The New Age teachers have no answer to the  question “What happens to the Self post death?”  Their understanding of the Self is restricted to  the Now. If the Now disappears, should the Self  also dissolve? That’s not accurate because every  scripture has described the Self as Akshara, which  means ‘indestructible.’ 

Nisargadatta Maharaj had repeatedly pointed out  that “prior to consciousness,” or the Absolute  stateless state, cannot be known in the Now. Turiya, the fourth state beyond the deep sleep  state, can be realised only by withdrawing the  

life force to go beyond the five senses, through  meditation or by keeping the body still in one  place. The neo-Advaitins do not mention the  need for meditation, putting in effort, following  disciplines, moderation in sense enjoyment, and  the spiritual qualifications laid down in traditional  Vedanta, such as viveka (discrimination), vairagya  (dispassion), mumukshutvam (burning desire for  freedom), and Shad Sampatti (the six disciplines.)  That’s why I am of the view that the neo-Advaita  teachings are not deep enough. 

•  How do you view different types of practices  such as Japa (meditative repetition of a  mantra), dhyana (meditation), and Karma  Yoga prescribed in several texts? 

All such preparations are valid as each helps the  mind to go within. I am fine with mixing different  forms of sadhana, so long as the goal is to remain in  the Self. Just as a worldly man procures different  objects to please his senses, one should be open to  adopting different methods for the soul. 

•  As you wrote, today’s spirituality has almost  become a marketplace with so many teachers  offering different things, often contradicting  each other and absolutely confusing the  seeker. What is the way out? 

The market is flooded with teachers because there  is a great demand for seeking to awaken from  this dream world, manifesting wealth, improving  one’s health or relationships, or indulging in  entertainment. A real guru points out that the  source of all seeking lies within one. When life  becomes difficult, the inner search begins. The  way in is the only way out to realise God, the Self,  or the Divine Intelligence, the ultimate solution to  all problems. 

•  Your message to the readers? 

God loves you.