Change thyself

Change thyself

Suma Varughese considers transformation to Change thyself be the sole goal of the spiritual game 

Why enter spirituality? For  me, this question has always  had a one-word answer:  Transformation. Nothing else, in  any way, is relevant. 

I am happy that the Buddha too  is on the same page. When his  followers would choose to split  hairs or lock horns in lengthy  doctrinal debates, the Tathagata  would warn them that, to a  person dying of an arrow wound,  it was healing that was primary  and not the place, name, or  provenance of the healing herb. 

So truly said. We are all dying of  the arrow wound caused by the  ego. In millions of ways, small and  large, the ego is shooting slings  and arrows at us. Every last bit  of suffering can be attributed  to the ego. Enmeshed and  entrapped, should we not focus  single-mindedly on crafting our  escape? From suffering to bliss  incarnate. With a tagline like this,  why should we ever waste our  time tarrying on the path? 

I was lucky in that my suffering in  the initial years was so acute that  I literally panted for release. I had  left my earlier life and worldview  behind and had submitted to  my inner sadguru to take me  forward on my transformational  journey, but the other shore was  so far away and the person I was  

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and the one I aspired to be were  so far apart that I could hardly  bear it. And so, I strove mightily  to change myself. 

My suffering has muted to almost  a whisper these days, but I still  march on. When and where my  final transformation will happen  is the Almighty’s province, but  when I look back and see how  much I have changed and grown,  I am grateful that I kept my eye  on the ball. 

Among the distractions that most  lead us astray—created by the  wily ego itself which is fighting  for its very survival—are some  of these: 

Converting spirituality into  an intellectual pursuit. Inner  work is the crux of the spiritual  journey, for without it, no change  is forthcoming.   But the ego  converts the journey into a  thought exercise. The aspirant  reads endlessly about every  philosophy and spiritual tradition  under the sun. But because he  fails to implement any teaching  in his life, he remains as stuck as  before. 

Unwillingness to face one’s  shadow self. Confronting oneself  is probably the hardest task on  Planet Earth. To be willing to take  off one’s blinkers and face one’s  greed, lust, vanity, and need for  

power is not easy, for it is very  hard to be uncomfortable with  ourselves. The aspirant will do  anything to fob off this task and  will run for cover each time he is  confronted with the imperative  to change.  

A fascination with powers  (siddhis). Even those who should  know better, find themselves  drawn to this quest, hoping  to become clairvoyant or  clairaudient, to be able to levitate  or walk on water. The mature  seeker knows that this too is  the ego’s ploy to keep us in its  thrall and continues his strife for  freedom. 

A fascination for metaphysical  exploration. Are there aliens?  Can we live forever? Who are  the ascended masters? These  explorations may once again  come in the way of our inner  work. 

So, forge on. As the Buddha  said: Gate, gate, para gate,  parasamgate bodhi svaha. Keep  on going until Buddhahood is  won. 

Suma Varughese is a thinker,  

writer, and former Editor 

in-Chief of Life Positive.  

She also holds writer’s  

workshops. Write to her at  

sumavarughese@hotmail.com. 

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