The world is one family

The world is one family

May 2023

The World Is One Family

A happy family makes for a happy world, says Sujatha Rao. And this is possible if  each family member strives to inculcate love and respect for each other so that, ulti mately, the ancient Sanskrit aphorism ‘Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam’ becomes a reality  

“All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” 

The above line happens to be one of the most popular lines of Leo Tolstoy from his famous book  Anna Karenina.  

The desire for being part of a happy family is universal. Before we get into knowing how we can  achieve this, let’s examine what is called ‘family’ from the perspective of its three major constituents:  people, places, and things. 

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People 

Over the years, the structure of the family has  evolved. From the erstwhile multigenerational  large families living under the same roof, the  post-industrialisation era saw the flourishing  of nuclear families due to the socio-economic  conditions that the era cultivated.  

Even as we speak, families around the world  are changing, many becoming smaller, as the  number of single-parent households keeps  growing. 

We Indians love large gatherings. Indian big  fat weddings have hundreds of people, making  them seem almost like public gatherings.  

We even have a legal entity for the Hindu Un divided Family. In our country, movies are  made to cash in on our nostalgia for joint fam ily structures, now that most of us have settled  into nuclear families. Don’t we love those larg er-than-life Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham-like fro zen parting shots of large families at the end of  the movie and try to emulate them within our  own families when we have our get-togethers? 

Big or small, as Edgar Guest’s poem proclaims,  

“It’s the stick-together family that wins the  joys of earth, That hears the sweetest music  and that finds the finest mirth.” 

Places 

A home is a place where the family dwells.  While it’s true that from the aspect of comfort,  the size and luxury of the abode might matter,  it appears that from the angle of its hold on the  family, these things hardly matter.  

When we talk of home, it isn’t the brick-and mortar structure with space in between the  surrounding four walls that we are referring  to. Such a structure called ‘house’ becomes  

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a home, thanks to the people inhabiting that  space. Though ‘homeless’ is often associated  with people who do not have a space to live in,  very frequently, an equally dire situation ex 

ists for people who live in lavish houses but are  still left feeling homeless and lonely.  

Homecoming is the central theme of Robert  Frost’s rather long poem titled The Death of the  Hired Man, even though it explores multiple  themes of family, power, justice, redemption,  guilt, belonging, etc. In the poem, there is a  conversation going on between the husband  (Warren) and the wife (Mary) about a worker  (Silas) who had helped them with haymaking  but had left abruptly only to return looking  quite sick during the winter. 

When the husband says “Home is the place  where, when you have to go there, They have  to take you in,” the wife replies, “I should have  called it something you somehow haven’t to  deserve.”  

‘Not having to deserve’ is the most beautiful  way of describing one’s home. 

Things 

No matter what the size or shape of the family  is, it is the binding ‘glue,’ or ‘thing,’ between  the members that matters. Love and longing  for strong family structures cut across all cul 

tures around the world.  

Humans as social beings 

We have all heard the clichéd expression, “Hu man beings are social animals.”  

A family is a cohesive unit of the macrocos mic societal structure we have built around  us. Family historians have come to realise the  importance of this unit as they know that it  is not only the source of biological and legal ly defined relationships between kinsfolk but  

also an entity where private and public sub jects intersect. Through driving proper values,  these interlinks can be strengthened to build  enriched societies and greater nations. 

International Day of Families 

Realising the importance of families in such  a larger social context, the United Nations  General Assembly decided in a resolution (A/ RES/47/237) in the year 1993 that May 15 of  every year should be observed as The Interna 

•  Respect  

•  Optimism 

•  Fun  

•  Love  

Respect 

When Vishal realised that respect needs to be  given while the same is being demanded, he  established the practice of addressing his wife  and children using words like ‘aap’ (‘you’ in  Hindi, used to denote respect). His children  

tional Day of Families, thereby providing an  opportunity to promote awareness of issues  

. 

had no qualms about reciprocating the gesture 

relating to families and to increase the knowl edge of the social, economic, and demographic  processes affecting families. The theme of the  2023 International Day of Families is ‘Families  and New Technologies.’ 

Some of the Challenges 

•  The diminishing number of extended  families and the increasing number of sin gle-parent families put into sharp focus the  issue of social protection.  

•  The digitisation of the world is reducing  the face-to-face interactions leading to  larger generational gaps. 

•  The fast-paced changes and the environ mental disruptions are driving the young er generation towards instant gratifica tion, leading to disastrous consequences at  

times. 

Tips to build stronger families  

Most of us are aware of the acronym ‘ROFL’  used frequently on our WhatsApp chats, which  expands to ‘Rolling On the Floor Laughing’ of ten denoted with the emoji. 

As this expression conveys the ‘happy’ feeling  universally and has a very good recall value,  let’s now use the very acronym to highlight the  four significant constituents of happy families  as follows: 

Having mutual respect amongst the members  of the family goes a long way in cementing a  firm bond. Especially, in a patriarchal society  like ours, the sons need to see the father treat  the mother with respect so that they inculcate  respect for the opposite gender. 

Sharing the family history and having a fam ily narrative inculcates in everyone a sense of  pride while simultaneously making them feel  connected to their legacy. This propagates an  intergenerational self, making them feel some thing bigger than themselves. 

In a society where individualism is revered,  it pays to treat one and all with respect. This  would also help foster in children the impor tance of being responsible for their actions. 

Optimism 

Pratiksha makes it a point to highlight the  silver lining in the situations the family en counters. When her son was crestfallen due to  missing out on meeting his friends (as he was  attending only online classes during the pan demic) she pointed out to him that both his  parents were working from home, which re sulted in more ‘together time,’ making her son  smile in agreement. 

In a society where doomsaying is the norm, it  Heartspeak 17

becomes even more imperative that families  nurture and grow in an environment that is  filled with optimism and positivity. 

Fun 

Rohit fondly remembers his childhood as a pe riod of fun. Both his parents made it a point to  engage the family in a lot of fun activities. He  remembers how his mother would make them  all sing and join in, whenever the power went  off. The fond memory of it brings a smile to his  face even today. 

Happy families have fun. A lot of fun. And  together. They find excuses to have fun even  in the most mundane of activities. They play  board games, watch funny movies, sing, and  dance together. 

They also make it a point to be part of  like-minded larger communities and gather ings to have greater fun as a team. 

Love 

Drishti has a lot on her plate. She has a de manding job, a super-intelligent daughter, a  busy husband, and an autistic son, whom she  calls her ‘special’ child. She makes it a point to  involve him in everything she does. 

Love needs to be explicitly expressed amongst  

family members. It has to be communicated  through visual and verbal cues. A caressing  touch, an occasional kiss, and a warm hug can  go a long way in overcoming conflicts that are  bound to crop up in any relationship. 

While unconditional love is the premise on  which families thrive, it doesn’t preclude disci plining the child when it is called for. It makes  people set boundaries and punishments when  such boundaries are wilfully breached. How 

ever, it also makes allowances for exceptions. Conclusion 

Since moralities, values, ethics, etc are best  cultivated within a happy family, it becomes  imperative that we do everything in our con trol to foster such families in order to build  good and healthy societies with members that  empathise and care for each other.  

As Kofi Annan, former secretary-general of the  United Nations and Nobel Peace Prize awar dee, once said, “If tolerance, respect, and eq uity permeate family life, they will translate  into values that shape societies, nations, and  the world.” 

So, this International Family Day, let’s all reaf firm our commitment to nurturing happy and  healthy families around us—one family at a  time. 

Sujatha Rao is a retired banker. She has been contributing articles to various newspapers and magazines  over the last two decades. Two of her short stories were placed third in Times of India’s national level Write  India contest (Seasons 1 and 2). Her first book titled In the Company of Stories was published recently. Her  other interests include reading, traveling, practising yoga, and mindfulness. We welcome your comments and suggestions on this article.  

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