Towards the sun

Towards the sun

Towards the SUN

Combat the default state of the mind that resists what does not work and ignores what works, by  turning your sights only to the positive, says Suma Varughese 

I am convinced that focussing on  what works is one of the master  keys to opening the doors to  happiness, self-transformation,  success, and harmonious  relationships. Helen Keller put it  more poetically when she advised,  “Keep your face to the sunshine  and you cannot see the shadows. It’s  what the sunflowers do.” In other  words, count your blessings and  ignore the handicaps. Embrace  the job you love, the happy family,  and your fully paid-up flat or  house. And firmly turn your back  to the depleted bank balance, the  investment that turned turtle, and  the lost friendship with your college  friend. 

The reason why life is so hard is  that the default state of the mind is  to ignore all that works and to crib  mightily about all that does not. This  ensures that we are perennially in a  state of resistance, and our capacity  for happiness is shortchanged. A  promotion, getting great marks in  the Boards, or falling in love, may  give us a high, but like air out of a  punctured tyre, the happiness leaks  away by focussing on the barrage of  things that don’t work. For most of  us, life can seem like climbing up a  slippery slope that sends you sliding  back no matter how valiantly you  strive. This is when we can benefit  from the merit of focussing on what  works. I frankly tell you that this is  not easy to do. The mind is going  to continue its perennial resistance  and protest. But persist, and you  will find yourself wonderfully  rewarded. Start with the practice  of writing a gratitude journal every  day.  

As you focus on all the good things  the day has held for you, no matter  how tiny, you will start noticing  them more, and to that extent, your  negativity will seep out of you.  Now cultivate the habit of looking  at everything with this perspective.  Look for health, not illness in  your body. Look for strengths,  not weaknesses in your character.  Look at the successes and not the  failures in your life. Acknowledge  them wholeheartedly and express  gratitude towards your body,  yourself, and God.  

Over time, this will recalibrate  your relationship with yourself,  and amp up your confidence and  self-esteem. Do the same with  others. Instead of focussing on their  faults and shortcomings, practise  keeping your sights firmly on  their strengths. Use the same logic  when you need to correct someone.  Instead of highlighting what they  have done wrong, can you point  towards areas of improvement?  Not only will their self-esteem  remain intact, but so too will your  relationship with them.  

Some sections of the corporate  world use a programme called  Appreciative Inquiry when they  need to resolve flagging employee  morale or performance. Instead  of looking at what is wrong with  the employees or at their failures,  Appreciative Inquiry facilitators  choose to highlight their strengths  and capabilities. Instead of being  shamed or critiqued, employees are  encouraged to use their strengths  to boost their performance.  Appreciative Inquiry validates  and empowers the employee and  strengthens the employee-employer  bond.  

Focussing on what works is based  on the spiritual truth that, at our  core, we are part of the Divine— whole, perfect, and complete. It is  the conditioning that we undergo  over lifetimes that creates negative  and limiting belief systems, a  spectrum of afflictive emotions (as  the Buddhists call it), and powerful  desires and aversions that sabotage  our happiness. By steadfastly  looking at the positive, we amplify  our true nature and dilute the  conditioning. Ergo, more happiness  and freedom. 

Suma Varughese is a teacher of words and wisdom.  She broadcasts spiritual truths and a love for  writing in her various capacities as columnist, writer, writing coach, and the founder-facilitator  of the popular Zen of Good Writing Course. She  is the former editor of Life Positive and Society magazines. She has authored Travelling Light,  Travelling Lighter, and 50 Life Lessons. She can be  contacted at sumavarughese@gmail.com 

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