Which life do you want

Which life do you want

October 2022

A soul takes on a tough life to learn the lessons of a hundred lifetimes, says Ajay Kalra
I often joke, before I was born God sat me down in his heavenly drawing room and  said to me: 

“Look son, I have two designs for your next life.  The first one will be easy and smooth. Loving  family, easy career progression, traditional  values, devoted wife, caring children and a  comfortable retirement. But you won’t learn  much.” 

I smiled. That sounded good. I visualised  myself smoking a pipe post retirement while  my pet dog scampered about in the manicured  lawn of a spacious bungalow. Life seemed  good, even before I had lived it. 

“The second option” he said, breaking me out of  my reverie “will be a life packed with all kinds  of challenges, full of ups and downs, nothing  predictable, unstable family, wrong career  choices, addictive behavior, spiritual pursuit  and alienation from mainstream society.” 

I gulped. Suddenly the visual of the spacious  bungalow was replaced by snowy peaks. I saw  myself in a loincloth with a long beard, living as a hermit in a cave in the Himalayas surviving  on roots and berries. It was a no-brainer. The  first life was definitely more appealing. 

“But the second life” said God, “will give you  learnings of a hundred lifetimes.”  

He then looked into my eyes and asked “Which  life do you want? The easy one with not much  to learn. Or the extremely difficult one with  tremendous growth.” 

He paused and smiled, awaiting my response.  

“What the hell” I thought to myself. “I have  to make a choice, even before I am born!” My  mind wanted the easy, relaxed, conventional  life. My soul was hungry for learning and  growth. I needed more information, before  making this life altering decision. 

“What is the ultimate purpose of all learning  and growth?” I asked God, trying to hide the  scepticism in my voice.  

“It is to realise that you and me, are One.” he  said.  

That sealed the deal.  

“I will go for the difficult one.” I said.  

Whoosh! As soon as I said this I was conceived  in the womb that would provide me all the  life challenges God had promised. True to his  word, he ensured my life was full of ups and  downs, and yet something kept moving me to  the next chapter of my life. Every chapter was  filled with new life lessons.  

Since I have lived the life I have lived, I can  share with some credibility a few pointers, for  living such a life. Especially for people who  have chosen to pack learnings of a hundred 

lifetimes in a single life, like me. 

Nothing Is Constant 

I know this is a cliché but it is true. When I felt  I had messed up my life, there was no hope for  a better future and the best option would be  to end my life; life changed. Almost as though  one chapter of the book got over and the next  one started. And just when I thought that nice  chapter of my life would remain forever, that  chapter got over too.  

Every time a good chapter began I was  exhilarated. Every time a good chapter ended  I was plunged in despair. The only thing that  kept me going was the thought “Life is not over.  I am in winter. Spring will come. That is how  seasons are. That is how life is. There is always  change.”  

Manage Mind, Not Life 

Often we mistakenly believe that our problems  and suffering are because of our life situations.  A heartbreak, a financial crisis, a health scare,  a death of a near one, a job loss, a divorce.  Whatever be the situation the problem is not  the situation. It is our mind interpreting the  situation. 

Life takes care of itself. It has been doing so for  13.8 billion years. Which means something  new always unfolds. No situation ever remains  the same forever. But the mind can hold on to  an interpretation of the situation and prolong  the suffering. Even trauma can be released  with the right help and a willingness to let go.  

If we use suffering to create an identity and  derive satisfaction from our tragic story, nothing  can help us. If we learn to acknowledge the  painful energy, with the attitude of surrender,  we free ourselves from the shackles of fear,  anxiety, loneliness, sadness, anger, hurt, sooner  than later.  

Trust Life  

Whenever I found it difficult to deal with life,  it has been due to a lack of trust. Not in myself,  someone else or even God. Just lack of trust  in Existence. There are patterns and laws that  govern nature. If there is hunger, there is food  to satiate it. If there is thirst, there is water to  quench it.  

Whenever I was in dire need, it came in the  most unexpected manner. Someone to talk to,  someone to give me shelter, someone to edit  a book, some community to belong. The help  came without planning or seeking. And when  its role was done, it went.  

Universe Is Intelligent 

If we care to notice the Universe is intelligence  in motion. It is not random. The Sun rises  every morning without fail. The plants give  oxygen without missing a single day. The Earth  rotates on its axis, creating seasons every year.  We may not realise the deeper meaning of our  existence, but there is one, if we were to infer  based on the behavior of the Universe.  

Life has a plan. But we want to know the plan right away. We want to know how the story will  end. The mind goes crazy not knowing. It tries  to control and predict everything. If we can  trust life, give life a chance and be comfortable  with the vulnerability of not knowing the  future, change is easier to manage. Each  moment leads to the next moment, naturally.  

Conclusion 

God appeared in my dream one night.  

“How are you doing? Are you happy with the  choice you made” he asked.  

“It’s not been easy.” I responded. “It’s been one  helluva ride. I am surprised I am still sane and  

sound.” I said, hoping for some sympathy.  He smiled his Godly smile.  

“What’s coming next?” I couldn’t help asking. 

“You will soon find out.” he said with a twinkle  in his eyes.  

“Will I realise that you and I are One?” I asked. 

“Haven’t you?” he said, before disappearing  into Oneness.  

*** 

PS: I didn’t end up in a Himalayan cave, but a  lovely homestay in Dharamshala. Whew! 

Ajay Kalra is a life coach, psychologist, yoga teacher and an author. He  

teaches principles of mindful living through his monthly online classes,  

workshops, writing and YouTube videos.