Embracing what is

Embracing what is

October 2024

SPIRIT 

Through a journey spanning decades, Suma  Varughese is moving from  resistance to acceptance 

When I first decided to decondition myself, I felt extremely distant from the Now. So caught up was I  in the swirling currents of the mind  that I constantly experienced the sensation of being spun around by the feelings and thoughts that  dominated me, and the idea of being  in the present moment was a distant prospect. What this meant in actual terms is that it would take me days  to get over a disagreement, a careless  remark by someone, or a reprimand  by someone in authority.  

As the deconditioning began to pick up pace, the mind began  to reduce its pace, and the gap  between where I was and the  present moment began to shrink.  Over, not merely years but decades,  I approached closer and closer  towards the moment.  

At the same time, I was still  completely dominated by the  mindstuff. I was unable to wriggle  out from it, and it determined my  actions and reactions. This caused  me to be impulsive very often. I  would act almost instantaneously  on receiving a signal from the mind  about watching a movie or calling  up a friend, often overturning  the planned activities of the day.  Freedom appeared Utopian.  

And then as the mind continued  to decrease its momentum  and slowed down, the Higher  Self began to surface. Hitherto  completely silent and almost  impotent in my life, I slowly  found it gaining ascendency over  my thoughts and feelings. It was as  if it was this vast presence could  allow all the thoughts, feelings  and physical sensations to be, for  it was so much bigger than them.  

These are early days, but for one  so identified with the mind all  these years, it is wonderful to feel  that my feelings and thoughts can  exist exactly as they are, but now  cradled in a peace that contains  them, and gradually allows them  to dissipate. When caught in  really fraught situations, the  mind still has the upper hand, but  when life is relatively tranquil,  the mind is slow enough for the  Higher Self to soothe and pacify  it. The resistance that has so far  characterised my journey, then  gives way to acceptance.  

Acceptance is the capacity to be  larger than the mindstuff and  therefore to accommodate it fully.  It is expansive enough to contain  every form of resistance. I would  define resistance as an inability  to accept what-is. This can mean  judgements on people, weather,  politics, the railway system,  the government. We are forever  sitting in judgement against the  

way others are, the way they look or  behave, or the way they do things.  Resistance covers the whole gamut  of negative feelings. Let us begin  with anger and all its manifestations  – resentment, irritation, frustration  (strong resistance to what-is) envy  (resistance to what others have that  I don’t), hate (resistance to what  others have done or said to you),  guilt (resistance to what you did in  the past) shame (resistance to what  you did or said in the past, or even  your habitual way of being in the  present), and fear (deep resistance  to what will be). 

When resistance ebbs away in the  healing presence of acceptance,  wonderful things happen.  Resistance has a way of filling up  the whole mind, blotting everything  else out. However, when acceptance  dawns, the shutters come down and  we can actually see the vista head  instead of only a dead wall. It is  then that we are freed to do what we  can about the situation, and resolve  it. Acceptance brings peace, instead  of the buzz of negativity generated  by resistance. Acceptance makes us  a victor, while resistance compels  us to be victims. Resistance  is unconscious. Acceptance is  conscious. Acceptance aligns us to  life. Resistance alienates us from it.

Suma Varughese is a teacher of words and wisdom.  She broadcasts spiritual truths and a love for  writing in her various capacities as columnist, writer, writing coach, and the founder-facilitator  of the popular Zen of Good Writing Course. She  is the former editor of Life Positive and Society  magazines. She has authored Travelling Light,  Travelling Lighter, and 50 Life Lessons. She can be  contacted at sumavarughese@gmail.com