Money and relationshipss

Money and relationshipss

Be prudent as well as humane when dealing with people about money as it is  something which can make or break relationships, says Shivi Verma 

We need, crave, and love  money. But we also  love harmony and  good relationships with others. Have you seen how often both of  these clash? No sooner money  gets involved in relationships  than the situation becomes either  fragile or volatile if not handled  with extreme care, sincerity, and  honesty. There are cases galore  of children, siblings, or friends  betraying their loved ones for  money. Property and inheritance  issues have driven a wedge  between families and blood ties.  In extreme cases, even lives have  been lost over money. Hearts  get broken, faith gets destroyed,  disappointment and bitterness  sets in, and relationships get  fractured forever if money issues  are not dealt with wisely and with  integrity. So then, how do we walk  the treacherous terrain of money  and relationships?  

Let’s accept that, barring our  children, we are circumspect in  spending money on others. We  want others to be financially  independent and not come to us  asking for a loan. We want our  hard-earned money to work for  us and take care of our needs and  priorities. However, in this world  which works on exchanges of all  kinds, money too is a currency of  exchange. We all have faced times  when we have needed more money  than we have and have had to  approach friends, moneylenders,  or family members for assistance.  In those times, anybody who has  come forward to bail us out of  that tricky situation has been  nothing less than an angel for us.  Therefore, it doesn’t behove us  to reject a call for financial help  outright if someone is genuinely  needy. 

However, none of us want to burn  our hands doing a good deed.  So, before extending this help,  it’s best to check the background  of the borrower. Is their past  conduct honest, upright, and  virtuous? Is their reputation  clean and trustworthy? Are they  known for keeping their word? If  yes, please help them. But if you  feel that your loan will be wasted  and not put to good use, it’s best  to make an excuse and not give  in to emotional manipulation.  Sometimes, praying for the person  or suggesting a business idea  works better than offering direct  financial aid. This will save your  relationship with them. 

Listen to your intuition and act  accordingly.  

And lastly, give without  expectations. Even if you are sure  of a relative’s intentions to return  the loan, it’s not necessary that  it would happen. There are no  guarantees in life. So when you  give, give with the thought that  it might not come back, and do  not hold it against the borrower.  It can save you a lot of heartache.  Just take it as a lesson to be more  cautious in the future. 

Money does show the real  character of people. It shows who  cares for us and who is just out  there to use us. It sieves out the  wheat from the chaff. It tells us  to be wiser in our dealings with  people. It makes us more judicious  in our judgement of people.  

Despite all this, the best use of  money is to keep some of it aside  to help others selflessly. Money  can get us comforts and peace of  mind, but when it is employed to  help those in need, it begins to  give us happiness as well. 

Editor of Life Positive, Shivi  Verma is a devotee who found  all her answers in loving God  passionately. 

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