Rearview guidance

Rearview guidance

September 2014

By Megha Bajaj

While life means moving ahead, an occasional glance at the rearview window of our life, will keep our navigation clear, says Megha Bajaj

I had never really been able to understand my strange affinity to Rajasthan. Although I am a Marwari, and my great great great grandparents were from Rajasthan, for nearly a century Mumbai has been home to my family. Yet, when I went there something at the core of my being felt like it belonged to the land that whispered so many stories, to the colourful people, the food, the language. It somehow felt like returning to my source. Something within just felt so deeply, well, complete. Satiated. Contented.

It was only at a recent school alumni meet that a realization happened. I was barely in touch with any of my friends, and didn’t necessarily look back at the 12-odd years of my school life with much happiness or nostalgia. It hadn’t been a joyride for me; in fact, some years had been quite a struggle. I had felt it would be best to just disconnect, and keep looking ahead. Yet, at the meet, something shifted. When my classmates reminded me of how I used to be, I felt they were right. The ‘me’ that I wanted to forget all about, had existed. In fact it was ‘that me’ who had brought me to ‘this me’. C may want to forget all about A and B – but ultimately, if there was no A and B, C wouldn’t happen, would it?

I do not believe in dwelling in the past. However, I do believe in referring to it. Using it as a helpful tool. Where you come from, your childhood, experiences of the past, all of them are the roots that make you what you are today. For those of us who may not have had the best of childhood or underwent certain traumas we would rather forget, the  past may look like a deep dark forest that you never want to revisit  – but I have learnt that it’s best to embrace it.

The past is like a long corridor which has so many rooms, so many clues to why you are the way you are

The past is like a long corridor which has so many rooms, so many clues as to why you are the way you are. The more you accept all aspects of it, the greater the chances of a more beautiful future. And acceptance comes with being able to look at each incident that has happened – positive or not – and telling yourself, ‘For some reason Life chose to give that experience to me.’ The less you judge or ask ‘Why me?’, the easier it becomes to accept things as they were.

I have started applying a very powerful technique whenever I am at a roadblock in my life. For example, a cheque  is not coming through. I ask myself – where in my past could the seed of this have been? I look back at my first relationship with money – things that happened along the way, the experiences centring around money or cheques – and almost always I am able to find that missing link which is preventing the desire from actualising.  When I am unable to find it, I don’t stress. I just wait – when the time is right, the answer is bound to come.

True you can never drive your car if you keep looking at the rearview mirror. And yet, it is wise also to remember that you cannot drive your car without a rearview mirror. A glance here, a reference there, some maneuvering around if need be – makes the road ahead much smoother.

Megha is, above all, a seeker. These days she is attempting to find herself in the role of a teacher through the online writing course designed by her. You can know more about her on www.wonderofwords.org