By Megha Bajaj
Instead of taking undue advantage of a person’s weak point, let’s ensure that we nurture our relationship with them and avoid causing any hurt, says Megha Bajaj
In Greek mythology, when Achilles was an infant, it was foretold that he would perish at a young age. To prevent this from happening, his mother, Thetis, took him to the river Styx, which was supposed to offer powers of invulnerability. She dipped his entire body in the sacred waters, but since she held him by the heel, it did not receive the powers. Achilles grew up to be a great warrior and survived many battles. However, finally, it was when he took a poisoned arrow to his heel that he succumbed. The story gained popularity to show that no matter how brave or unconquerable a warrior is, they always have some weakness, which, if found, can be used to defeat them.”
Inner noise. We all know of it. It This has great significance in all relationships, but I am going to use the context of marriage to expand this. If you have been married for even a few months now, or for long years, you already know that your partner has their own Achilles heel. Humans that we are, we subconsciously keep picking at each other’s weaknesses. As we live with someone, we find out what makes them happy and what makes them sad, and we learn ways to find their Achilles heel. things. The truth is, the mind is never quiet.
Unfortunately, most people use this Achilles heel in relationships to hurt rather than to protect or heal them. For instance, the husband knows that for his wife, her mother is her Achilles heel. By default, in a fight, he will bring her up and say something which affects his wife. He believes he will gain the upper hand by hurting her where it matters the most: her Achilles heel.
If the wife knows that the husband’s alma mater means a lot to him, she may use that against him in certain situations through remarks such as “Oh, so is this what they taught you at XYZ?” She knows other things may not affect him, but a word against his precious institution, and he will be done in.
Manipulating weaknesses is the most common thing that corporates do and is the way many sportsmen win their medals. Not only do they work on their strengths, but they also use others’ weaknesses against them to get where they must.
And yet, relationships are no competition to be won. It’s not about one-upping, as much as it is about tangoing along together. Sometimes, we forget that in winning a point or feeling good for that moment, we end up losing something much more important: the love, trust, or peace of the other. What’s the point of
winning something at the cost of losing something much more important? Yes, throwing an insult and knowing you caught the other off guard may win you that one argument, but it’s not setting the right tone for your relationship in the longer run.
Instead, if you really want to build your marriage (or any relationship) and create a secure environment for one another, you need to know your partner’s Achilles heel and help them preserve it. Imagine knowing that attacking their weak point will hurt them and yet ensuring that you do nothing to cause it! In fact, even if the other is using your Achilles heel, if you hold on to your dignity and simply don’t give in, it leads to growing love, trust, and respect in the marriage. Chances are that seeing the way you are carrying yourself and preserving the other’s weakness, the other will want to do the same for you.
An Achilles heel can be used to win. Let’s use it to win love!
An award-winning author, film script writer and poet, Megha is an eternal seeker at heart. She also empowers people to write and get published through her online writing workshop.
You can read more on www. WonderofWords.org.
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