AHA-MOMENTS
Love in the time of quarantine
Megha Bajaj learns to look at her relationships in a new light, thanks to the quarantine
One of the most beautiful things the pandemic did for me: it made me into a more empathetic person.
Tell me if you can relate to this.
Earlier, I would watch my best friend for life, Arun, leave for work and come back from work. Honestly, I didn’t have too many thoughts around this. 9 a.m., leaving; around 9 p.m., coming back. However, when I watched him working from home, I realised this is what he did between 9 a.m. to 9 p.m.:
He spoke to about 20 clients.
He empowered his team.
He bagged some incredible deals.
He failed several times.
He reached out to his family.
He tried making a difference to a few friends.
He had an insight.
He felt tired and lay his head.
He learnt something new.
I realised so much happens in each of our lives—every day. Twelve hours is literally a lifetime. How, then, can we see the person who left and the one who returned with the same eyes? Life seems to be in a constant flow, and with it, we keep flowing and growing. To see every person with fresh eyes, no matter what, is something that the quarantine taught me.
Like him, I too went through my own adventures in those twelve hours. Somehow, I realised that life is beautiful, intense, overwhelming, crazy, fun, and yes, sometimes tough. We just don’t know what a person goes through in a day (or even in a lifetime!).
So often in relationships, we go through this feeling that we are not understood. That the other is not able to comprehend all that we are thinking, feeling, and experiencing. So often I have heard people say, “He just doesn’t understand me!” To be honest, there have been moments I have used this phrase for Arun too. Sometimes I want to do something post work and he is just non-cooperative, or he comes home with a sulky mood and stress, and it used to trouble me.
Quarantine has given us insights into each other’s lives which we would have missed otherwise. I have literally seen how his days pan out and now understand why he sometimes feels the way he does. Rather than screaming to be understood, I have started asking myself if I can understand. And truth be told, I most certainly can.
Quarantine, like every other phase in life, is an opportunity to grow in the inner and outer dimensions like never before, and one area I feel I am making leaps and bounds in is in my relationships. With the whole world in the same sea, watching Arun in my home, or reading stories on social media about losses, healing processes, and stories of triumph through it all has made me feel more one with everyone than ever before. At least in my life span so far, I have never felt such connectedness, such oneness with all that there is because, in varying degrees, we are all experiencing the same storm.
We are all in it together. And the best we can do for people around us is be kind. Be empathetic. Understand, before screaming to be understood. Accept. Love. And know that they are constantly changing (just like me). Learn to press Refresh for people as we would for the browser.
Wouldn’t the home (and the world) be a much more beautiful, peaceful, and refreshing space if each of us just did this for the other?
Megha Bajaj is a bestselling author, film script writer, and poet.
An ardent seeker at heart, she also runs her online writing and healing workshops called WoW. You can read more about her on www.MeghaBajajWoW.com.