January 2024
Aha moments
A song for baby
Megha Bajaj celebrates the birth of her little angel by sharing her experiences and joy during the nine month journey
Maybe it’s intuition Some things you just don’t questionvI know that it might sound More than a little crazy But I believe
I know I loved you Before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life.
There are songs and there are special songs. Those that you feel describe your life, your state of being, in ways that you can’t comprehend. They evoke tears, smiles, and memories. This song [mentioned above] by Savage Garden is one such. Someone sang it for me in college—and while the relationship didn’t last, the song stuck with me. I wondered at the depth of the words and wanted someone to whom I could dedicate them. Finally, I found her. Nine months and a few weeks ago. Athyasaa, our baby girl, born on 11.11. 2023. Arun and I had been married for a decade and a half, and somehow, we both were very complete. With ourselves. With each other. Having a child wasn’t on top of our minds. Also, my mother had been unwell for a decade and from bathing her to feeding her, I experienced everything. It was almost as if she was our child, and having one of my own didn’t feel that relevant. After mom left her physical body last June, there was a lacuna, and I think that was the first time we started wondering what it would be like to have a child. I believe in the power of intent and love, and within a few months, I conceived.
The nine months of carrying an angel within me have been life defining, and even as I begin writing about it, tears are falling from my eyes. I feel like summing up some of the most beautiful learnings I had during the thirty six weeks. From the moment I knew I had a little life within me, I was so excited to see it. I would check Instagram reels of that first moment when a mother sees a baby, and would keep crying. There was a point where I got so restless and wanted to simply fast-forward the journey to see my baby. And that’s when it suddenly hit me. It would be a moment (yes, so worth it), but just a moment, and in waiting for it with so much desperation I was missing the entire process. She was with me from the moment I conceived. It was just that I would see her in nine months. I relaxed and started enjoying each day, each moment, every kick, every little hiccup that she had within me. The bliss was expanded and extended to nine months, instead of being limited to a moment.
The second was the sheer wonderment of what is possible when a man, woman, and God meet. Without a uterus, creation isn’t possible. Without sperm, creation isn’t possible. And when the two meet, only if the Divine intervenes does creation happen. Watching that little seed of a baby on the scan, then have a heartbeat, then a form, then grow organs, nails, and a complete nervous system was nothing short of a miracle. Arun and I would be in tears after our scans—tears of wonderment. It reiterated my faith in something beyond my comprehension working with me to make things possible.
I can go on, and I probably have a lot more to say. For now, I am leaving you with these two experiences and a song that has become my reality. A song I keep humming to Athyasaa as slumber takes over her:
I knew I loved you before I met you I think I dreamed you into life.
Megha Bajaj is a bestselling author, film script writer and poet. An ardent seeker at heart, she
also runs her online writing and healing workshops called WoW. You can read more about her on
www.MeghaBajajWoW.com. We welcome your comments and suggestions on this article. Mail us at editor@lifepositive.net
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