Former CBI Director and President of Life Positive, D R Kaarthikeyan looks back upon his lifelong tryst with spirituality and pursuit of truth.
As I look back at the most challenging period in my life, I wonder how, or rather, whether, I could have coped without the anchor of spirituality. Probably not.
Places of divinity - of any faith - have always revitalized and recharged me. For, apart from the religious significance, the pure and positive thoughts of the pilgrims make them great reservoirs of positive energy. Such spiritual energy, in the form of blessings by great masters and positive vibrations in places of divinity, has come to me by God's grace, without conscious effort. For instance, years ago, Sathya Sai Baba spent more than four hours at my home in Belgaum, though I had not made any real effort to make this happen. At the time I did not realize its significance but now I know what a rare privilege it was. Initially I was a little apologetic about the arrangements as it was a sudden visit, but Baba put me at ease, saying, 'I have come to this house', pointing to the heart. After this, every time I visited Puttaparthi, almost magically a place would be made available to me, fairly close to Baba. This again is a privilege. I realize now that devotees wait for many days, even months, to meet him.
'I wish I could come here more often,' I thought once. Miraculously reading my thoughts, Baba responded, 'You don't have to come here often. Doing your job well with dedication is your life's mission and my blessings are always with you in this.'
Prophetic words. For soon, I was plunged into a most challenging mission. I was appointed head of the Special Investigation Team (SIT), formed to resolve the Rajiv Gandhi assassination case. An assignment considered risky, thankless and extremely difficult and therefore, declined by many others. For me, however, it was not just the call of duty, but a personal challenge too. Rajiv Gandhi was a man I had known and admired. I had been extremely upset by his premature, tragic death. Perhaps God wished a person who took up this case to be personally aligned with the objectives.
Anticipating the likely obstacles, I took it up with the precondition that there would be no interference or manipulation in my work. Convinced that we would succeed if we stuck to the pursuit of truth, I resolved to be totally transparent and not use third degree torture throughout the investigation.
We knew we were on a difficult mission but we never thought it impossible. What is considered impossible only takes a little longer to achieve and an enormous amount of hard work, was our mantra. People often asked me how I was able to cope with the threats to my life.
It is my firm belief that the time, place and method of one's birth and death are preordained. Very often this is mistaken for morbid fatalism, but actually, this belief gives you the ultimate freedom. When you cannot change when or how you are to leave this body, why not live with conviction and courage, taking on life's challenges head-on without any fear of death?
The task itself was extremely arduous and demanding. I worked an average of 20 hours a day, separated from my family and with pressure from all quarters. During this arduous period, all my strength was derived from spirituality - a Vipassana course, daily prayer and meditation, blessings of the masters and visits to places of divinity.
When the much-awaited verdict was given, I was calm and composed. The SIT investigation was endorsed by the Supreme Court, and the team was commended for the excellent job done.
The most satisfying fact, however, was that this was a triumph of truth. Crime detection, in the final analysis, is akin to true spirituality, after all. Both are essentially the pursuit of truth.
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