Breaking free of biases
March 2024
Freedom
Breaking free of biases
Biases and their hold on us often make us take the wrong decisions. Let us work on breaking free from them says Jamuna Rangachari
When I was working in the software industry, I had a bias against people not adept at project and time management. This resulted in me losing many technical experts. It was only when my co-worker pointed out to me that this was a negative trait which resulted in us losing good people that I re-examined this mindset of mine. I worked on understanding that each person has unique strengths which they use to add value to the organisation. I realised that project management was not the be all and end all of software production. We then recruited many technology-oriented people who though not good at project management, but had other strengths to boast of which contributed to the company’s growth.
In another area, I never shared food with people coming from a different state or region, because I doubted their hygiene levels. Once, during a train journey, the train got greatly delayed and we were all forced to share food with one another. As I had a young child with me at that time, many gave me priority displaying their humanity. I ended up having the Gujarati dhokla, the Maharashtrian poha, the North Indian bhujia and completely enjoyed the trip making long lasting friendships as well. This incident made me very grateful, unbiased and humane.
Social biases
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As a country we lag behind other nations because of our biases, many of which are unfounded as we don’t make an effort to truly understand the other.
The lack of co-operation and hostility towards people from other states often results in a lack of growth, bonhomie and opportunities for people across the country.
For instance, when my husband joined the armed forces, many North Indians mocked his South Indian accent and mannerisms except for a few who noted his competence. He was thought to be fearful, but he proved everyone wrong by handling the most challenging assignments, showing no fear at all. Till today, he thinks highly of those seniors who made him continue with determination and they in turn, call him their greatest Madrasi success.
This attitude is prevalent in the elite vs middle class tussle of society too. This tendency was shown in a recent Hindi blockbuster, 12th fail. Here, the protagonist almost fails his interview as his English is not perfect since he is from a Hindi medium background and one of the interviewers is biased against people from the Hindi heartland. Fortunately, he succeeds because of an unbiased interviewer who understands his passion for reforming the nation and affirms that English is not as important as his passion and diligence.
This bias can be the other way around also. Bijal Maroo, a homeopath from Mumbai says, “I have always had reservations about befriending people who belonged to a higher status, financially. I have even declined romantic overtures because these class differences made me uncomfortable. The bias stemmed from being treated as a lesser mortal by rich relatives in my extended family. However, off late, I have had the occasion to meet more and more people from the upper echelons of society for professional and personal reasons. My experiences this time around, have made me do a re-think on my biases about rich folks. Most of these people have been very warm. They have welcomed me into their homes and hearts with open arms. A rare few have had poor manners but all in all, I have been forced to adopt a fresh point of view, that interactions are always about people and never about status and money. I have updated my belief system which now reads most people are good, whichever walk of life they belong to.
Why do we have biases?
We suffer from biases because of the way our brain works. Biases are mental shortcuts that help us process information faster and easier, but they can also lead to inaccurate or unreasonable conclusions. Some of the factors that contribute to biases are:
Biases can have negative effects on our personal and professional lives, such as affecting our decision-making, problem-solving, communication, relationships, and performance.
They can also lead to discrimination, prejudice, and injustice in society.
Ameeta Sanghvi Shah, a psychotherapist from Mumbai says “One of the biases we see commonly in clients is the negativity bias. This can show up as depression or borderline personality or anxiety or the frequent need to cry.” She shares the experience of one of her clients who couldn't help but tear up at the workplace or even in meetings or social gatherings at the drop of at. She would get triggered, think the worst and immediately experience a breakdown, much to her own embarrassment. Inner child healing therapy revealed that she was the elder sibling and born when her parents were struggling to create their careers. In this struggle she was often left with her grandparents and whenever her parents were with her, they were irritable, focused on discipline and said No to anything she wanted to own, even a cheap trinket or toy.
Few years later her mother was pregnant and delivered twins. By this time the family was affluent. Seeing the way the twins were raised with hugs, kisses and indulged with toys, gave birth to jealousy, and a feeling of being unloved and not as important. She was expected to be the elder sister, a caretaker and often made to give away things to her siblings. Recalling these painful memories made her feel sad, confused, jealous, left out, like a bad person, helpless and guilty.
Inner child healing sessions helped her release stuck energy, emotions and thought forms that hindered good relations with her family members, and now she has a more optimistic and appreciative outlook to life. The key issue was that she felt blocked from receiving love. Her bias that life is unfair kept her from receiving love and appreciating life.
Therefore, it is important to be aware of our own biases and try to overcome them by:
- Seeking out diverse and reliable sources of information and perspectives.
In the day and age of social media we prefer to consume content that resonate with our belief system rather than be open to considering contrarian views too. Therefore, once in a while we must view other perspectives as well to not let biases set in.
- Challenging our own assumptions and opinions, and being open to feedback and criticism.
It is important to keep a watch on our feelings while forming an opinion. If they arise out of rigidity, dislike or defensiveness then it’s time we examine them and be open to changing them in our own interest. Judgmentalism arises from a sense of superiority. Do you feel superior to others? Check this feeling and flush it out of your mind as it can be extremely deleterious in the long run.
- Practising mindfulness and self-regulation, and avoiding making judgments when we are stressed, tired, or emotional.
- Emotions can cloud objectivity and rationality. When in the throes of feelings we can easily fall prey to talks and axioms that fill us with negativity. For eg if you are stressed due to workplace politics and happen to meet someone who paints a negative picture of the corporate culture you will easily get biased against all colleagues and bosses. This will hamper your future in any organisation.
- Developing empathy and compassion for others, and respecting their differences and similarities.
A good way to prevent biases from affecting your prospects is by developing understanding and empathy. These qualities help form bridges and pave the way for greater openness and understanding between people and communities.
Men and women are mostly at loggerheads because each wants to be understood by the other rather be understanding of the other. Both try hard to proclaim themselves as victims of the opposite sex. This war can become never-ending. Harmony can be achieved only if we try to develop greater understanding of the opposite gender. It helps to read, learn and step out of ourselves while trying to become more empathetic towards the other.
Spirituality can break biases
Biases are detrimental to us as we lose out on many aspects of life by being bottled up like a frog in a well due to our attitude.
The most unbiased spiritual atmosphere I have come across is in the Golden temple at Amritsar. I could see complete solidarity as people from all backgrounds worked together in an unbiased manner to serve the Lord.
A favourite story of mine in this context is that of the Shankaracharya and the chandala (keeper of the cremation ground). On his way to his place of worship, Shankara came across an untouchable (chandala) who was accompanied by four big dogs. The sage asked him to go away as he felt that proximity with a chandala would pollute him. The chandala then questioned Shankara’s spiritual knowledge and attainment if he was still entrenched in differences arising out of physicality and birth and could not see the Lord present in every human being.
This incident proved to be one of the most groundbreaking experiences of the great ascetic. He could see his own biases which kept him trapped in maya. When such a great master could fall prey to a bias, how could we be totally free of them? The answer is, that overcoming biases is a process and we need to keep working on it. This move is worth undertaking as it shall make us experience all dimensions of life in totality.
This is why most spiritual masters encourage us to pray together, eat together and share spaces with each other. By doing this we can walk joyously on an unbiased path in life.