Change from within Oct 2019
Change from within
Gurjas Kaur Chahal narrates a simple yet heartening story of a despondent man who transformed into a self-dependent individual
Inder Sain worked as a peon in the same section of a government ministry in which I worked. One day, while he was having his lunch in his seat, I noticed that his food comprised four to five curled chapattis and a few dried slices of colocasia (arbi). He tore a bite, rolled half a crescent of arbi in it and pushed the dry combo in his mouth for chewing. Kamal, a young and bubbly daily wager, a jolly type, was with him, eating his lunch at the same table. My seat, being adjacent to theirs, allowed me to see them if I wished to, without their knowing, and hear all their conversation.
Kamal’s parathas were smeared with ghee, and his bowl of chickpeas was laced with spices. He shared one paratha and three to four hearty scoops of chickpeas with Inder Sain. The latter gave him some arbi from his dibbi (container). The moment Kamal ate a bite of it, he exclaimed, “Oh my God, it is so hot!” Perhaps the veggie was high on red chillies.
Kamal, being of a candid nature, frankly told Inder that he would not eat any more of the arbi and asked him why it was so hot. Inder Sain thought for a while before saying that his daughter-in-law was not in a good mood toward him and his wife in the morning. Kamal asked why his wife could not cook the food. Inder Sain replied that she had a fever.
I remember Inder Sain had married off his son only a month ago and was very proud of his daughter-in-law. He used to say he had found an educated match for his engineer son and expected his daughter-in-law to respect him and his wife for having given her an engineer husband, despite him being only a peon and that too with paralytic legs. Within a few days, however, he learnt that his son’s wife was not what he thought she would be. She was not only ashamed of her father-in-law’s low rank but also hated him for being a cripple.
Every day, at the lunch hour, I heard something or the other from my adjacent desk, which stirred my thoughts and made me pity Inder Sain. He liked Kamal’s food, for he always took a large helping from it. His own food was often bland or dry or sometimes chilli-red. His general appearance also started becoming haggard. Stubble stayed on his face for days and his cheeks became hollow. His shoes were often dirty and stinky.
One day, he was sent to get some office letters delivered to the postal section. He slipped on the way and fell down in such a way that his entire body weight came on one hand, thereby breaking the wrist joint.
He applied for medical leave and stopped coming to the office. People missed him, but (as with any other office) things started running normally within a few days.
When he returned, he seemed to have adjusted to his life’s predicaments. He relished his food. His shoes were washed, face was shaven, and overall cleanliness was a mark above his earlier days.
When the lunch hour came, Kamal and he got chatting. They spread used paper on the table and opened their tiffins on it. Kamal asked him how his stay at home during his illness was and if everything went well. Inder Sain answered that the slights from his daughter-in-law were as green as ever but he had learnt to face them. The key was that he was now self-dependent. And how did this change come about? Inder Sain’s wife had taken him along with her to attend a religious discourse at their local temple where the preacher was explaining how to become a ‘svapaki,’ that is, how to cook yogic food for oneself on one’s own. It was a simple way to cook nutritious food. Inder Sain liked the concept and imbibed it in his life. This had a parallelly beneficial effect on his habits. He not only started cooking his own food but also washing his own clothes.
These two activities—cooking and washing—linked him to the present every day. It made him active and self-dependent, and such changes brought about another big change in him. He stopped expecting anything from others, including his wife.
Kamal, being at least 15 years younger than Inder Sain, did not understand the real import of imbibing the principle of ‘svapaki,’ but he did feel that whatever his dear friend was saying was an important life lesson.