By Life Positive August 2010 Ways to ease the tension and promote harmony when conflicts arise Living a smooth life is a Herculean task. Conflicts exist in everybody’s life. I resolve most of the conflicts in my life by going with the positive aspect of everything, because as we all know negative attitude and short- sightedness is an apple of discord in all houses. I always see the root cause of the problem and then try to solve it, not by arguing but in a quiet and loving manner. Moreover, I am never partial and oppose the wrong person tooth and nail. And also I am never rigid and whenever I am wrong I always admit my mistake. The same rules apply for others.PREETI SETHI, VIA EMAILNon-acceptance is the root cause of all conflicts which is the byproduct of the clash of swollen egos, a well known human behaviour problem. Whenever faced with conflicts, first and foremost I accept that I have a swollen ego, which partially reduces the conflict and this automatically leads to the realisation about the futility of it all. For the conflicts in the lives of those around me, I am just like the salt that is applied on bitter gourd and then washed away after sometime to reduce the bitterness before cooking it. That is to create a positive environment that will help to resolve the conflict to some extent.CHITRA VASHISHT, NEW DELHIThe word conflict actually means ‘incompatible urges in one person’. As individuals we all are different in thinking and behavioural aspects. Once we understand the other person or group, we come closer to reality. The conflict mainly arises of not knowing the other side of the coin. I personally think that I am correct most of the time based on the information or thought process I have but this may not be true for the other person and hence giving rise to conflict. The best way is to converse, understand and resolve it.DEEPAK MOTIRAMANI, PUNE Here is a simple formula for conflict resolution that I often use.‘Remain in your AREA’• A : Accept the differences • R : Respect it as part of the variety of life• E : Enjoy the natural vividness of life• A : Avoid imposing your viewsDR VEDA VRATA AALOK, NEW ZEALAND
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