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• Personal Growth

July 2014

After years of speculation finally the mystery of the Universe unraveled before Shivi Verma

I remember wondering about the mysteries of the universe as a young child. There burgeoned in my heart the desire to know all of the past and the future of the entire cosmos. I felt that there was a huge book lying somewhere in the sky which recorded all the events that took place in the human history vis a vis evolution, civilization, relation with gods, angels, and mystical happenings.

History books and religious scriptures provided little solace. History to me was nothing but speculation based on certain findings and scraps of material evidence as to what might have happened. How much can we rely upon the veracity and unbiasness of scholars who recorded the lives of kings, rulers, emperors of their era? What is the real truth of Harappa and Mohan Jodaro? Why no historical remains indicate the existence of a throbbing, Vedic civilization save some books? The scriptures talk of an advanced human. So advanced that he could travel from one planet to another without airplanes, powerful and resourceful beyond imagination and hobnobbing with gods. Science on the other hand speaks of a gradual evolutionary process wherein man began as a primate who lived in caves, made weapons of stone, battled ferocious animals for survival. What is actually true? When we can find the remains of colossal dinosaurs that existed billions of years ago why is that we are still groping in dark about the correct time of origin of man?

These and so many questions ravaged my mind, making it difficult for me to go about my normal routine. I could never remember where I kept my books, keys and money, never be anywhere on time, lacked focus in studies, was poor at relationships, sickly of constitution, and irritable of disposition. Obviously people thought me stupid and called me confused to make it sound better. Like others I wanted to be famous but on looking closer found that all the famous people around me were nothing more than bubbles on the surface of water. Next moment nobody knew of them. Death carried away with them all that they had earned on earth. The only timeless names were of Krishna, Rama, Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed and those who associated with them when they were around.

Therefore the best way was to become as great as they were. But how? What did they have which I did not have? It occurred to me that they were divinely blessed so I must seek God first. The quest for eternity and power brought me closer to that supreme consciousness, only to realize that everything was futile and useless. That desire itself was the root of all my misery. Though I was capable of knowing all that I wanted, and becoming all that I wished for, I could not do it by bypassing the laws of nature. I must start living in the present. Do my duties without seeking rewards, become awake in this moment, respect this world and the limitations it imposed on us and chase dharma instead of unquenchable and distressing desires. This awareness did much more for my growth and happiness than all my monstrous desires. The more I respect this life and give wholeheartedly to it with love and gratitude the closer I get to realizing myself worth. As for the greatness of those immortal names…I realised my folly. They were great not because they achieved something of huge dimension but because they uncomplainingly took up a gigantic responsibility of rescuing humanity from its karmic quagmire. Jesus died on a cross for it. Buddha vowed to be reborn again till the last soul on earth was free from bondage, Krishna had to witness the biggest carnage ever on the face of this earth, Rama could never enjoy a moment of personal bliss, sacrificed as he was on the altar of duty and protecting the sanctity of spoken word. Would I want a life like that? Heavens no! I realized I was already fortunate, the chosen one. I did not have to labor under the yoke of infinite duty and I had cracked the code of knowledge and happiness. Live now here in this moment fully and all that is good for you shall be granted when deemed right by the super soul.

What bliss! What freedom !