By Suma Varughese
As humanity moves towards the New Age, it is time to divest ourselves of the need to control or dominate, and operate from a space of equality, says Suma Varughese
I was 16 going on 17 and appearing for my first public exam in college. As I nervously surveyed the sea of faces scribbling away furiously, I told myself that the only way I was going to feel confident was to think of all of those people as infinitely less than me. Sure enough, I got my mojo back and did pretty well in that test. But something told me that I was wrong, and I never employed that strategy again.
As we move away from the patriarchal age towards the New Age, we are going to have to learn to let go of the superiorityinferiority paradigm. Today, society is based on a compulsive need to possess, control, dominate and conquer. Our relationships are rank with power play that divide us into victims and victors, rulers and ruled. Can we instead, move towards seeing ourselves and others as equal to each other? Can we recognise the fundamental truth that all of us are human beings before we are anything else and therefore equally worthy of dignity and self-respect? Shah Rukh Khan is a human being before he is a superstar. Mukesh Ambani is a human being before he is a plutocrat, and yes, the beggar on the road too is a fully paid-up human being.
Only inner work can access this shift. We need to heal ourselves of our wounds, the experiences and belief systems that keep us locked in the ‘not good-enough’, or ‘betterthan’ framework. We need to plug into our own power, instead of deriving power over others through rank, position, wealth or fame. We need to open our hearts and get in touch with our feelings. Most of us have atrophied hearts with no access to feelings. We operate from the head and use logic and reason to guide us in relationships. But who to marry or how to bring up your child will need inputs from the heart much more than from the head.
Above all, we need to solder our connection with the Divine, for only that will teach us that we are One. When our hearts and wounds heal and our soul opens up, we will be able to craft beautiful relationships based on openness and vulnerability, emerging from a sense of shared humanity.
Priests and holy people will no longer thunder from the pulpit asking others to change, exert power over millions of fawning fans, or have a phalanx of devotees protecting them from the public. Indeed, the era of the mass guru, whose followers run into millions, may well be over. Small, local gurus will sprout up steering the spiritual welfare of as many people as they can relate to personally, and no more. And no one will set himself up as a spiritual master. Life will appoint them when they are ready, for taking care of people’s souls is serious business that only the enlightened should do. Parenting would be sourced in love and a confidence emerging from inner power, which would enable them to share their own stumbles and bumbles instead of sustaining the illusion that they were perfect children.
Instead of seeking to establish control, teachers would let down their guards and be themselves with students, thereby inspiring them with their authentic behaviour. Bosses would let go of the master-subordinate dynamic and instead care for the welfare of their employees as tenderly as a parent would a child. In human relationships, the need for one-upmanship or keeping up with the Jones, the instinct to control, dominate, abuse and violate will melt away in a space of mutual love and respect. Hurry up and change! This Utopia will come about only through you and me!
Suma Varughese is a thinker, writer, and
Editor-in-Chief of Life Positive. She also
holds writer's workshops. Write to her at
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