By Suma Varughese
Accepting the will of God in big things and small, paves the path for the perfect unfolding of our lives
|Suma Varughese is Editor-in-Chief of Life Positive. Write to her at email@example.com|
Even though I have largely come to terms with my mother’s prolonged paralysis, I still long to travel to various ashrams and spiritual destinations, to attend conferences, seminars and workshops, and spend evenings out at friends’ houses or at a play. In short, to be a free bird. When the longing gets too unbearable, I think back on the last few days before my mother fell ill. Since my mother has lived with me for the last 20 years, I had been, to some extent, limited in my capacity to travel even earlier. That particular year I openly chafed at being my mother’s sole caregiver and suggested to my sisters that perhaps they should persuade my mother to spend a few months with them too. Bingo. My mother fell ill with malaria which later morphed into all sorts of ailments before climaxing into a paralysis. The message from the universe was clear: ‘If you are resisting your present restrictions, try this on for size.”
Whatever the situation, it is clear, my job is to stay with it and use it as a learning instrument. There is no way I can willfully terminate it until its purpose has been fulfilled.
I am also learning that if we leave it to God and simply play our role faithfully, our life will unfold in the most amazing, divine way. While I was with a lifestyle magazine, I inherited an editorial assistant who was a temperamental drama queen. I suffered her for a couple of years and then she left for domestic reasons. The next person I got was an absolute sweetheart who worked for me devotedly. I knew that she was my reward for having borne the other without resistance.
For me the perfection of God’s timing was best illustrated when I was offered the editorship of this magazine in end 2004. I was then care-giving my sister who was seriously unwell. Taking a leap of faith, I took up the offer, without any idea about how I would execute it while caring for my sick sister. Admitting my sister in a hospital for 10 days, I went to Delhi to be tutored by Parveen Chopra, the then editor. When I came back as editor, I found my sister happy and well. For the next two years she lived at home with me and took care of our mother and of the cooking, leaving me free to slave at the office till the wee hours. Each time I think of it, I am awestruck by the sheer precision of the timing. Who could have predicted she would get well the very moment I needed her to?
Recently, I experienced another instance of God’s perfect timing. Three years back, a friend suggested that I should look for an office close to home so that I could be free of the commute. We could find nothing suitable so I dropped the idea. In March 2010, without any volition on my part, our office moved to Goregaon, just 15 minutes away from my house. Earlier, I had not needed the extra time, but when I really needed it to take care of my bed-ridden mother, the Universe stepped in and made it happen!
I know the drill by now. If I can accept my present situation with all its difficulties and limitations, and sincerely apply myself to learning the lessons it holds for me, then when the time comes my mother and I will be released from this present situation, and the future will unfold beautifully, awe-inspiringly, perfectly – as only God can do.
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