Growing through joy
Must we grow only through pain or is it possible to grow even through good times, asks Suma Varughese
One of the daily sentences I share with my writing group, Zen Pens, referred to our tendency to only grow through pain. I concluded by saying that if we want this to change we must be willing to grow through joy as much as we do through pain. One of the women in the group asked what growing through joy would entail. That got me thinking.
What we do not recognise is that in just the same way that pain can give rise to joy when we use it well, joy carries with it the seeds of future pain unless we exercise tremendous vigilance. When we are in a state of comfort and ease, and life is going well for us, we have a tendency to slip into complacency. We begin to take credit for this state of affairs and thus aggrandise our ego. The growth of the ego will often create an increase in arrogance and a magnified idea of our capabilities. We also forget that this too will pass, and therefore forget to stay alert.
For instance, if we have been experiencing prosperity of late, we tend to forget that it could leave us just the way it came to us. Because of that we begin to cultivate expensive habits. From commuting by public transport
we hanker after our own vehicle. We begin to travel on leisure more often, and buy a lot more food stuff, electronic gizmos, clothes, and household artefacts than we actually need. I don’t say we should adopt an austere regimen, but neither should we get imprisoned in a lifestyle that we may not always be able to afford. Or if we do, we must make sure that when the time comes to drop the lifestyle, we will do so without a moment’s hesitation. That would be growing through joy.
One of the best examples we have of this state is of Emperor Janaka, Sita’s father. He was a legendary king, with armies at his behest, gold and jewellery in his coffers, and every other blessing that life could offer him. Through it all, King Janaka remained as vigilant as an eagle, completely focused on being in the moment, and not getting pulled into the veils of Maya. Because of this, neither power, pelf, nor prosperity had the capacity to corrupt him. When he was asked by a visitor how he managed to stay above temptations among the dancing girls and the banquet hall of his palace, King Janaka asked him to take a round of his palace, while balancing a glass of milk on his head. When the man returned,
shaken by the difficulty of the task, King Janaka asked him if he had thought of the dancing girls or the food any time during his round. “How could I?” exclaimed the visitor. “It was all I could do to balance the glass of milk on my head.” “Now you know my secret,” said the king. “My only focus is on being in the moment. There is no space for dancing girls or anything else.”
Staying alert, staying aware, is the only way we can grow through joy or good times. This is never easy. The reason why it is so much easier to grow through pain is because pain is a powerful awakener. The suffering is so immense that we will do anything to get out of its grip, and that is how most of us get a glimpse of who we are.
But perhaps as humanity evolves, more and more of us may move into enlightenment as a natural process of maturity, and awaken to our real selves without the need for pain or suffering. Meanwhile, let’s keep working on ourselves!
Suma Varughese is a thinker, writer, and former Editor-inChief of Life Positive. She also holds writer’s workshops. Write
to her at sumavarughese@hotmail.com.
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