Emotional Intelligence in Relationships
Daaji urges us to move towards nurturing lasting relationships based on love
In today’s world, relationships and careers are the stabilisers, bringing security, contentment, and purpose in life. Yet, we don’t seem to be very good at the relationship part because many people are simply struggling to sustain healthy long-term relationships.
Is this symptomatic of a throw-away consciousness? Whether we are talking about containers, appliances, or people, we now live in a world where we throw things away very easily. The environmental issues caused by plastic bottles and bags are a case in point. Similarly, when it comes to relationships, if there are problems, we end them; if there is hardship, we look for something better. We are fostering a culture of quitters.
But the tide has been turning of late: plastic articles are banned in many places, and people want sturdier appliances that last. Will our attitude towards our relationships also move towards valuing longevity and commitment over the throw-away mentality?
To do so, we need some basic emotional intelligence and maturity. Let us ponder over a few things that can help:
Prioritise harmony over being right. Does it really matter if your partner is wrong? Why ruin the peace by having an argument that could have been avoided by simply saying, “Okay, yes honey.”
Learn to pause and listen to the other person’s point of view. Feel what is being communicated beyond the words.
When there is tension, it is not necessarily a bad thing. It is like a warning bell telling you that something needs to change. Rather than expecting others to change, try to see what you can do.
More often than not, you have an argument simply because both the partners are tired and out of sorts. If the kids are also in the equation, it could be worse. So, be kind. And remember, your attitude and thoughts are even more important than your words.
Be humble and open-hearted. Your heart will thank you for all the joy it can hold.
Cultivate the way you speak; avoid a harsh tone. People will enjoy listening to you more when you speak sweetly.
Be patient. Let things heal naturally and have faith that all will be well.
Let go of resentment. Generally, other people don’t mean to hurt you. They are also imperfect, just like you.
At bedtime, close your eyes and feel sorry for anything you have done to hurt others. There is no need to feel guilty; just promise yourself you will not do it again. You will then sleep with a clearer and lighter conscience.
Accept the other person just as they are without trying to change them.
A sense of humour also goes a long way!
The four core practices of Heartfulness are perfectly suited to nurture emotional intelligence—they allow you to learn to love. At the end of the day, what makes the world go round? It is love.
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