December 2017 Mahalakshmi Rajgopala shares the heart-touching tale of a woman who beautifully integrated with her spouse, after healing her heart of the pain caused by her boyfriend long ago Being in a relationship is one of the most beautiful experiences one can have. All those who have been in one, or are currently in one, will vouch for it. In most cases, it evolves from friendship into something more concrete, where two individuals experience a deep emotional, intellectual, and spiritual connection. Mostly, it culminates in a physical relationship too. For most people, physical intimacy is of great concern in any relationship. Especially, parents are extremely anxious about their daughter getting involved in a physical relationship with her lover. They feel that she is putting herself at risk. As a holistic wellness practitioner, I completely disagree. While I definitely oppose teenage pregnancy or pre-marriage pregnancy, I strongly feel that physical intimacy is not what harms the individual when a relationship breaks up. Rather, it is the loss of emotional relationship that takes a toll on the individual. The case study shared below is a fitting testimony to the fact that physical intimacy is not what traumatises a person in the event of a relationship breakup—the actual damage is caused by the loss of emotional intimacy. It is also essential to understand that marital harmony, in its deepest essence, is a physical, mental, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual alignment with the partner. Anju’s anger Anju, a mother of two, met me to explore possibilities of healing her anger through pranic healing (an energy healing system that works on the aura and chakras). She shared how her volatile and uncontrollable anger was leaving her family puzzled and shaken. As her healing sessions progressed, both of us realised the need for integrating her healing with counselling sessions for better results. During counselling, Anju’s truth tumbled out of the closet. Anju had been in a deep and committed relationship for six long years before her marriage. Even though she and her boyfriend shared a very strong bond, they rarely indulged in physical intimacy—Anju remained a virgin. Unfortunately, the relationship which was intended to have culminated in marriage, broke. Anju was devastated. She lost interest in her professional growth and did not know what to do with her life. Sometime later her parents married her off to a decent, well qualified, good-natured man. Arun was, in every way, a good match for Anju. Anju shared her past with Arun, and he, being the gentleman he was, accepted her unconditionally. Moreover, Anju was a virgin, and like any average Indian male, Arun was happy that everything was ‘alright’. Months and years passed; Anju and Arun were blessed with two lovely boys and looked like a perfect family. Outings, vacations, social get-togethers—everything seemed perfectly in place, but only on the outside. No matter how hard she tried, Anju could never connect deeply with Arun. She had no complaints about him as a person, but she just could not form a connection with him. They had their interactions, regularly indulged in healthy sex, and yet, Anju felt empty from within. She found herself to be a mere participant and her husband too was aware of the missing link. They tried to talk it out but could never identify the root cause. Anju was aware that inspite of bearing two children, she had not been truly intimate with Arun. This truth bothered her, but she did not know how to help herself. During her sessions with me, she discovered the reason for this lack in her married life. The unsevered bond
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