Heartspeak
September 2024
HEARTSPEAK
All for the best
An academic disaster turned opportunity led Rajeev Hallur to understand the jigsaw puzzle of life, initially incomprehensible to most of us
“The grand design of life is it offers you a challenge which is beyond your current maturity to keep you in a constant state of evolution.” — Mahatria Ra Ivividly remember that day—June 18, 2018.
It was gloomy outside with dark monsoon clouds blocking whatever little sunshine the setting sun offered. We were eagerly waiting for IISER* to announce their final admissions list, refreshing the page almost every second. It did appear finally after what seemed like an endless wait. But alas, our daughter Shivani didn’t make it to the list! Her dreams of becoming an astrophysicist lay shattered. Shell-shocked, all of us were desperately trying to cope: my wife was crying and I was hoping that there was some mistake somewhere.
An academic dreamer
As long as I can remember, Shivani always wanted to be a physicist; I don’t recall her mentioning any other career options. I wondered how someone could be so clear in their thinking and make a career choice so early in life. It was at an extended family function we attended that Shivani, all of eleven years, announced that she would pursue her doctorate in physics. Shivani is no ordinary girl. She is academically brilliant, has a refined taste in music with a lovely voice, and is a passionate artist fond of creating intricate patterns. A superstar in her own right, she has been crazy from early childhood about celestial objects, stars, planets, and constellations. She never missed an opportunity to stargaze. It was our job every Saturday to drive her to IUCAA** to attend seminars on astrophysics. She would beg her teacher to allow her to represent her school week after week. We would roam around the beautiful Pune University campus while our daughter attended those seminars. She was one of the youngest participants and invariably the one who asked the most questions.
A faulty coaching methodology
Shivani intended to do her masters in physics from one of the IISERs, India’s premier institutes teaching pure sciences. She was enrolled in one of the well-known coaching centres to prepare for the entrance exams. The coaching centre claimed to provide the gateway to all IITs *** and IISERs. What was expected to be a fascinating academic journey soon turned into a nightmarish experience! The coaching methodology consisted of eight hours of teaching every day with another eight hours minimum of self-study. There were periodic assessments to determine which ‘class’ you belonged to. Shivani was constantly shuffled from one class to another as they pushed all and sundry in the name of ‘practising the theory of excellence.’
By the time her exams approached, these wise guys had systematically broken down her confidence and turned her into a nervous wreck. We parents had become mute spectators if not active participants in the crime. Sometimes, it looked like the parents had their own competition for pushing their kids to the brink. Shivani couldn’t cope with the system as it meant compromising her quest for knowledge. Her performance in the exams was average, resulting in her not making it to the list.
A divine intervention
While we were exploring lesser options, the story took an optimistic turn. Because the medical college entrance examinations were mired in court proceedings, the aspiring doctors held on to their multiple admissions to other institutions, leaving genuinely desirous students in the lurch. Once their pathway to medical colleges was cleared, they left institutes like IISERs in hordes leaving the administrators in a dilemma about whether to fill in these vacancies at such a late stage of the academic
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year or move on. Fortunately, sanity prevailed, and they decided to reopen the admission.
That evening, the eve of Independence Day, is etched golden in my memory. There was news that they would come up with another list. By now, all of us had turned a shade cynical and were kind of resigned to fate. I was running some errands in the neighbourhood when my phone rang. Shivani was screaming excitedly that they had come out with a fresh list. I rushed home, and we invoked all the divine powers as we checked the results. I could feel the anticipation and tension in all of us. GOOD LORD! FINALLY, SHE HAD MADE IT. And guess what, to her second-best choice of IISER. There was joy, there were tears, and there was great relief. As I quietly thanked God, the feeling was of justice delayed but not denied. The world of physics wouldn’t shut its doors on one of its most passionate seekers.
All is well that ends well
It has been six years now and, today, Shivani has added multiple credentials to her glowing academic career as an astrophysicist. She went on to become the first international graduate intern at IAS**** Princeton, an institute that had on board scientists such as Einstein, Alan Turing, and Oppenheimer, to name a few. She has published a research paper in a very reputed international journal. Shivani finished her master’s with flying colours and had multiple PhD offers from universities in the US. She chose the University of Amsterdam as they offered her a research project of her choice. You guessed it right; our little superstar will be
researching the love of her life—stars, of course! God’s master plan
When I look back, I invariably conclude that it all happened as part of a master plan. If she had got a different IISER on her first attempt, her career would not have progressed beautifully the way it has now. Having faltered and dusted off the setback, she emerged a winner. For a researcher, success comes after learning from multiple failures. The entire sequence of events was part of a grand design. It was life’s way of coaching her to be more resilient and focus on aspects she could control.
Just a couple of months ago, Shivani made the monumental decision to shift from Colorado to Amsterdam. She no longer fears failure and is eager to challenge the status quo. That experience was the breakthrough she needed to transform her into an ace researcher. Her sheer love for the subject, depth of understanding, and newfound never-say-die attitude will result in her making significant contributions to the field that will benefit all of humanity.
* Indian Institute of Science Education & Research are premier schools established by the Government of India to promote research in pure sciences.
** Inter-University Centre for Astronomy and Astrophysics is an elite institution.
*** Indian Institute of Technology are premier schools established by the Government of India to promote engineering and applied sciences. **** Institute of Advanced Study, Princeton, is a super-elite research facility for postdoctoral studies.
A CEO and devoted family man, deeply in love with life, Rajeev Hallur expresses his devotion through habitual writing. His love for humanity fuels his belief in infinite human goodness, which helps shape his life’s narrative.